The New Adventures of Old Christine Season 1 Episode 5

Christine: (bringing Burton inside) Burton, this is my son, Ritchie.
Matthew: Are you my new daddy?
Burton: Boy, that must've been a tough delivery.

Richard: Come on, you can't leave Burton out on the porch forever or you'll become a "porch tease."
Christine: Oh, my god, is that really a thing?
Richard: Not really, we were listening.

Christine: Burton's fine with taking it slow.
Matthew: No, he's not. Guys needs to feel like they're working towards something.
Richard: Yeah, that's why we like sports. And war.

Christine: Oh, come on, it hasn't been that bad, has it? I mean, didn't doing it in your car last week make you feel like a teenager?
Burton: Yeah, until I got home and I had to ice... everything.
Christine: No kidding, I got a bruise from knee to nipple.

Richard: It shouldn't be this difficult. I mean I said 'I love you' on our first date, and you said it back to me.
Christine: We had just seen Ghost, I would have told the movie-usher I loved him.
Richard: It's good to know our marriage was based on such a rock solid foundation.
Christine: It worked out pretty good... except for the divorce.

Christine: (about Burton) I showed him mine and he didn't show me his.
Matt: I hope to God you're talking about your boobs.

Matt: It would probably have been easier if you had showed him your boobs.
Christine: Yeah, no kidding. I always forget I have them.