The New Adventures of Old Christine Season 4 Episode 13

Christine: How is sleeping with you a compliment?
Todd: I think we see me differently.

Principal Merrow: What you need to do is to express to Mr Watski, how you felt when he said those things about you.
Christine: He's just so mean to me.
Principal Merrow: Boys can be difficult at his age.

Lindsay: We heard you slept with [Todd] last night.
Christine: What? I didn't sleep with him.
Lindsay: That's what people are saying.
Christine: What people?
Marly: Well, Todd Watski told us and then we distributed it via the earthquake phone tree.

Christine: I have overcome a lot of my insecurities to accomplish a lot in my life: I own a gym, I am a mother, I'm divorced, I don't have a boyfriend, and I'm a part-time alcoholic.
Todd: Wow. You're like Mary Tyler Moore.

Barb: Hey, jackass. You cut us, and now the movie's sold out.
Teenager: (on the phone) I don't know, some old lady.
Barb: (into his phone) Hey, he's going to have to call you back. (She closes the phone.)
Teenager: Hey!
Barb: I'm sorry, I just need to explain to you that it's not polite to cut into a line, and there's sort of a social contract that we all must abide by in order to maintain a polite society.
Teenager: What does that mean?
Barb: It means that you're going to give my friend the tickets, or this old lady's going to be waiting for your ass in the parking lot.

Christine: So after I said no to Todd Watski, he told everyone that he touched my boob. And I got the reputation for being easy.
Richard: But, you are easy.
Christine: Now I'm easy.

Christine: [Todd] ruined my life in 7th grade.
Matthew: Is that our neighbor who used to pay you $3 to run through the sprinklers?

Lindsay: Christine, we see what you're doing.
Christine: I'm not doing anything.
Lindsay: You're kissing up to Principal Merrow to get preferential treatment for your kid.
Christine: Oh, yeah, I'm doing that. And it's working.

Principal Merrow: You know, this evening is all about helping the kids and the parents get through this transition we call Junior High. You know, it can be pretty tough on the kids.
Matthew: Yeah, your body grows, your confidence shrinks, and suddenly no one's afraid of the light-saber you claim to have in your pocket.