The New Adventures of Old Christine Season 4 Episode 9

Matthew: In a relationship, you have to overlook the other person's faults. Except for me, 'cause Lucy's perfect.
Richard: Except for the obvious. She's the spitting image of your sister. She just doesn't spit as much.

Christine: I can't have a boyfriend with rage issues—not with my rage issues.

Matthew: What are you trying to do?
Christine: Prove that my boyfriend is psychotic!
Richard: Do you want him to be psychotic?
Christine: No, I love him.
Barb: So you're psychotic!

Matthew: You don't drink?
Lucy: No, I think it's sort of trashy, and I like to wake up in the morning clear-headed.
Christine: I'm lucky if I wake up in my own bed.

Matthew: You don't mind me taking your court time?
Christine: No, I'm never going to play tennis again.
Matthew: Then why are you wearing your tennis outfit?
Christine: I look cute in it. And the mailman hasn't come yet.

Christine: Go sit in the corner so you're ready to jump in.
Richard: I'm not much of a fighter, I'm more a lover.
Christine: You're not much of a lover, either.

Christine: I think I have to break up with Patrick.
New Christine: Oh, you want Richard back?
Christine: Oh, no thanks.

Richard: Christine, I think you're wrong about [Patrick]. He's a great guy.
New Christine: So far out of your league. You know what I mean. Really out of your league.

Matthew: What's going on?
Christine: (out of the side of her mouth} I need your help.
Matthew: Do you want me to hold up the other side of your mouth when you talk?

Christine: Patrick, come on. Hey, you wanna go and make out in front of Marly and Lindsay again? We were so happy then.

New Christine: Once I thought I saw a monster in my backyard, but it turned out to be a dog.