The New Statesman

Season 4 Episode 2

H*A*S*H

0
Aired Unknown Nov 29, 1992 on ITV

Episode Recap

Piers Fletcher Dervish settles into his new offices at the European Commission. He mentions to Alan that the European Community is considering legalising cannabis and he doesn't quite know how to vote. Alan can't be bothered to help him as he has an appointment with an expensive prostitute. He's surprised to find that 'Veronique' is none other that his wife Sarah. She's making good money sleeping with top European bureaucrats and she takes every opportunity to blacken Alan's name. Alan promises to give her a new job.



Sir Greville meets with Alan, telling him that the tobacco industry wants to get involved with cannabis. If Alan can help by ensuring that Piers' anti-drugs speech is too ridiculous for words, the tobacco industry will pay him five million pounds a year. The first step Alan takes is to make Sarah the new Chef de Cabinet of Piers.



Unfortunately he gets kidnapped leaving the office. At the Atomium Monument he tries to escape, but the crooks can capture him again. Arturo, a Sicilian criminal, tells Alan that organised crime is worried about the proposed legalisation of cannabis. If Alan doesn't torpedo the law the consequences will be dire. As he leaves the Atomium, Alan gets picked up by Sarah, who received an anonymous message to meet him there.



Alan asks Sarah to sleep with all the European Commissioners to blackmail them into voting against the law. At the next meeting of the Commissioners Sarah shows them the incriminating photographs and the proposal gets scrapped.



To his surprise Alan finds himself kidnapped again by the criminals. Arturo rewards him for his work with a W.H.Smith gift voucher. Alan is clearly upset, as he lost five million pounds a year by sabotaging the law. Arturo tells him the decision was made by his boss: Sarah. Alan's frustrated wife enjoys her revenge and leaves the outraged Alan tied up in the Atomium.
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