The New Statesman

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ITV (ended 1994)

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  • The Irresistible Rise of Alan B'Stard

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 6 - 12/26/92

    With his fortunes falling in Europe, Alan tries to get himself appointed to a government post back in England.
  • A Bigger Splash

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 5 - 12/20/92

    Alan buys the late Robert Maxwell's yacht and offers Piers a lift on a peace mission to Herzegovina. Of course, he has his reasons.
  • Heil and Farewell

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 4 - 12/13/92

    Alan uses the resurgence of Nazi sympathisers in Europe to make some money.
  • Speaking in Tongues

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 3 - 12/6/92

    While Piers causes chaos at the European Commission with striking translators, Alan sees an opportunity to make a lot of money from a proposed motorway in his German constituency.
  • H*A*S*H

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 2 - 11/29/92

    When the European Community considers legalising cannabis, Alan gets caught between the interests of the tobacco industry and those of organised crime. And Sarah shows up again.
  • Back from the Mort

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 1 - 11/22/92

    Having survived imprisonment with hard labour in a Russian gulag, Alan attempts a return to politics by joining the European Parliament as representative from an obscure part of East Germany.
  • Profit of Boom

    Full Episode

    S 3 : Ep 6 - 2/11/91

    MI5 and the KGB ask Alan to start a new cold war because they no longer have anyone to spy on.
  • Natural Selection

    Full Episode

    S 3 : Ep 5 - 2/4/91

    At his annual cocktail party, Alan upsets a local VIP who threatens to take over his seat in the House. Strangely enough it's Piers Fletcher-Dervish's stamp collection that might save Alan's job.
  • Keeping Mum

    Full Episode

    S 3 : Ep 4 - 1/27/91

    Alan's mother visits and threatens to stay forever unless Alan repeals his new bill abolishing social security.
  • Let Them Sniff Cake

    Full Episode

    S 3 : Ep 3 - 1/20/91

    Alan upsets animal rights activists. A old friend wants a birthday "cake" from Alan.
  • The Party's Over

    Full Episode

    S 3 : Ep 2 - 1/13/91

    The three main political parties desperately try to lose the next election so that they won't have to deal with an economic disaster. Alan can make some money out of the situation.
  • Labour of Love

    Full Episode

    S 3 : Ep 1 - 1/6/91

    A new MP threatens Alan's status as the most right-wing member of the House of Commons.
  • Piers of the Realm

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 7 - 2/26/89

    Alan files for divorce. Piers gets promoted.
  • May the Best Man Win

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 6 - 2/19/89

    Alan tries to sabotage Piers' wedding.
  • California Here I Come

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 5 - 2/12/89

    Alan tries to sell a sitcom to an American producer, but Piers has to bail Alan out of jail first.
  • The Haltemprice Bunker

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 4 - 2/5/89

    Alan needs publicity so he annonunces that he has found a Nazi.
  • A Wapping Conspiracy

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 3 - 1/29/89

    Alan is accused of fraternizing with teenaged girls.
  • Live from Westminster

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 2 - 1/22/89

    Televised debates turns Alan into a media superstar
  • Fatal Extraction

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 1 - 1/15/89

    Alan finds oil on public lands then tries to buy it from a Labour Party leader.
  • Baa Baa Black Sheep

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 7 - 10/25/87

    Because his father-in-law threatens to drop him as MP for Haltemprice, Alan believes he needs a big success to regain his popularity. Getting an American fast food giant to invest in the constituency would do the trick.moreless
  • Three Line Whipping

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 6 - 10/18/87

    After a night at Mrs Selway's, an establishment that caters to every whim of very rich customers, Alan misses a vote, makes a fool of himself on breakfast television and gets lumbered with the body of a taxi driver.moreless
  • Friends of St. James

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 5 - 10/11/87

    When Alan hears from an old school friend that the island of St James has no banks, he sees an opportunity to set up his own and make some money.
  • Waste Not Want Not

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 4 - 10/4/87

    Alan needs to hide dangerous plutonium he has been storing in Hull. A disused mine owned by his father-in-law might do the trick.
  • Sex is Wrong

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 3 - 9/27/87

    Alan impersonates Sir Stephen Baker, leader of the Campaign for Moral Regeneration, in order to make some money with a very conservative pamphlet.
  • Passport to Freedom

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 2 - 9/20/87

    After Sarah inherits some valuable shares, she threatens to divorce Alan. As this would mean the loss of his father-in-law's political influence, Alan looks for a way to make those shares worthless.
  • Happiness is a Warm Gun

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 1 - 9/13/87

    Because the Chief Constable knows how Alan B'Stard got re-elected to Parliament, the MP for Haltemprice gets blackmailed into passing a bill arming the police.
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