The Oblongs Season 1 Episode 9

(Pickles smacks Pristine)
Pickles: Pristine, get a hold of yourself!
Pristine: Okay, I'm fine now.
Pickles: I'll tell you when you're okay!
(Pickles continues to smack Pristine)

[Hoodlums come out with knives and Peggy does sign language]
Master: Nice work, kid.
Peggy: I know sang woo woo.

(Milo, in drag, is hanging laundry)
Bob: Hello young lady, can I give you a hand?
(Milo turns around and Bob realizes who it is )
Bob: Milo! *to himself* easy man, he's still your son.
Hello milo, i'd like you to know that i'm not disgusted, I accept you and love you, I just don't know how i'm going to tell your mother.
Milo: Mom did this to me.
Bob: They always do.

(after having been dolled up as a girl)
Milo: Mom, I really, really don't want to do this!
Pickles: Oh but honey, we need you, besides, you're a stone-cold fox.
Milo: Yeah but all the guys will think i'm - really?!
Anita: Oh yeah, some of my best work.
Milo: I have a wedgie.
Anita: It's a thong, just relax and accept the string.

Amazon Master: (To Susie) You're not certified to drink your own urine!

Peggy: But we need to get ready for the jamboree this weekend!
Pickles: Jamboree!?! Does this crap ever end?
Milo: Hey, this isn't crap, this is good stuff!
(everybody stares at him)
Ok, i've been crochetteing and loving it.
(puts on pink crochetted beret)
How cute is this!?
Bob: It's adorable Milo, maybe you could crochette me a noose so I could hang myself.

[The Little Amazons are out selling cookies]
Guy: Well, well, well. If it isn't Mister Denzel Washington come to beg for my forgiveness!
[Milo stares at him for a minute]
Milo: Sir, i'm just a little boy in drag selling cookies.
Guy: This house is made of play-dough, I've got four hundred honey bees in the parlor!
[The girls run off]
Guy: Denzel wait! Eskimo kisses!

(selling cookies door-to-door) (Steve from globocide answers)
Steve: I'll take it!
Peggy: But you don't even know what we're selling.
James: I don't care, i'm a pleaser.
Milo: Score! You just baught the whole wagon bright eyes! (turns around and sees helga in the cookies box smothered with crumbs and chocolate)
Helga: *gasp* Someone ate the cookies

(Pristine's troop of Debbie's approach skipping)
Debbies: Oh I don't know but i've been told, marry a man who's rich and old. One, two, three, four, one two, three four!
Pristine: Hello Pickles.
Pickles: Hello Pristine.
Pristine: My girls have already sold three palets, how are your little trolls doing?
Helga: I ate three pallets.
(Pristine looks smug)
Peggy: Well it doesn't matter, you just wait till the jamboree!
helga: Yeah, we'll wipe your butts.
Pristine: We'll just see who does the wiping. Ready girls, prissy skip!
(The Debbies and Pristine skip off)

Pickles: Here girls, have some merit badges.
Helga:(picks one up) Hey, hygeine! (sniffs herself) For the sake of integrity, I can't accept this.

Pristine: Sorry pickles, you need at least four girls to get into the jamboree and you only have three. I say three because that's only a half,
(points at Beth)
and that's at least one and a half.
(points at Helga)

Miss Hubbard (about Pickles): Officer! Arrest that woman! She's an unfit mother and a whoore too boot!
Officer: Well, the Old Lady's white, and she's holding a Bible, we'd better do what she says

Pickles: I'm sorry hunny, but it's not as if we can build a girl out of spare parts.
Susie: It's true, I've tried.

(Pickles, Beth and Bob are in a police sation)
Prisoner: See you on the outside Beth!
Beth: Don't be no one's bitch.