The O.C. Season 2 Episode 1

Luke: Cohen got into a little fight with his mom.
Seth: Thank you! That was both honest and emasculating.

Kirsten: (asking about Ryan) Do you guys still talk?
Marissa: Not really. We used to, but it just sort of made everything harder.

Kirsten: (on the phone) Seth, it's Mom.
Seth: Mom, hmm? Blonde, sharp Anglican features, cute little nose?
Kirsten: Come home.
Seth: Did Ryan come back?
Kirsten: Seth Ezekiel.
Seth: Okay, using the dreaded middle name is not the best way to forge a bond.

Theresa's mom: Did you tell him? (Theresa nods) Did he believe you?
Theresa: Yeah, I think so.

Theresa: The only reason you stayed was because of this baby. And now there isn't a baby.
Ryan: You don't want me to come home.

Sandy: Hey, there are plenty of good restaurants in Newport.
Seth: I thought you said all the restaurants in Newport were overpriced and oversauced.
Sandy: I have this thing about sauces. Less is more.

Ryan: How'd you make it all the way from Newport on that little catamaran?
Seth: Hm. Well, Ryan, sit down, my son. (motions for him to sit down.) It was a long and torturous journey, and I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna sugar coat any details with you-
Ryan: Please don't.
Seth: -'cause we're friends. First, I sailed to Catalina. Then, I sailed to Santa Barbara. Santa Barbara, I ran out of snacks. Freaked out a little bit, pawned my boat for cash, took a Greyhound to Portland.
Ryan: You took a bus.
Seth: Yeah. But don't say it like that, cause it was a local. Okay, have you ever been in one of those? Okay, not for the faint of heart.
Ryan: I can't believe after all that you took a bus.
Seth: Yeah. I think we're definitely going to have to come up with a better story for school though, that'd be good.
Ryan: I don't know, I like the bus idea. It's cool.
Seth: Okay, what about maybe... boat sank, saved by whales? It's very (Whale Rider.)
Ryan: What else you got?
Seth: I took a boat, boat sank, saved by a mermaid? Boat sank, stranded on a desert island...

Ryan: Hey, so, ah, I was thinking.
Seth: I was thinking too. You know they don't even have a water polo team here. That's just gonna be a problem for me.

Jimmy: So what's going on in your life?
Julie: Aside from our daughter being the spawn of Chucky and Keith Moon?

Summer: Well my therapist said the best thing I can do to move on in my life is to divest myself of Seth's material possessions. (Kirsten looks confused.) I've got to dump off a bunch of his crap.

Sandy: I've always liked Luke. Kind of a big Golden Retriever.
Ryan (laughs): Actually, he kinda is.

Caleb: Do you hear a clicking on the phone? Every time I try to dial out I swear I hear a clicking.
Julie: Okay, Nixon. Paranoid, much? What's going on with you, Cal? You're either hopped up on blow or something's seriously wrong.

Sandy: Sometimes the best thing is for a kid to have some space.
Kirsten: The Pacific Ocean? That's not enough space?

Sandy: Hey, Cal. Always a pleasure, although if I may, why are we meeting in a parking garage?
Caleb: Because my office might be bugged. My home, your home, who knows what the Feds are up to?
Sandy: Wow, you've really flipped your noodle, haven't you?

(Summer & Marissa are sunbathing)
Summer: Ugh. Could it be any hotter? I feel like my flesh is melting..I just hope it melts evenly.

Sandy: In the meantime, could you please try to convince the fellas here to wear something in a shirt? The neighbors are starting to refer to my home as "The Manhole".

Sandy: My house is torn apart, and construction has nothing to do with it.

Kirsten: I know you're doing that thing. When you start speaking in gibberish to see if I'm listening.
Sandy: Aww, you were listening.
Kirsten: Nope. I'm distracted by today's paper. Actually, the date of today's paper.
Sandy: He's going to come back.
Kirsten: By the time school starts, or by the time Archie finishes the remodel?

Seth: It's a two-for-one special on brooding young men.

Summer: Yes, the more time I spend with Zach, the less time I have to think about ... God, what's his face ... built like a bean pole, curly hair, runs away like a little bitch on a sailboat leaving nothing but a note for his girlfriend who cried and cried over him until the 4th of July, when she decided that she doesn't cry over bitches on boats.

Caleb: (about Seth) I don't get it. His best friend leaves, so he runs off with another boy and his gay dad. You gotta admit, it sounds kind of strange.
Sandy: And this coming from a guy who is one click away from wearing a wig and a fake mustache?