The O.C. Season 1 Episode 19

Summer: What are you doing here?
Seth: (Holding a 'My Little Pony'.) Who is this?
Summer: No one.
Seth: (In a girly voice.) I'm not no one.
Summer: Princess Sparkle. What do you want?
Seth: I think she's just Captain Oats' type.
Summer: Well you tell him to keep his hooves off!

Sandy: We Cohens are sexual beings.

Sandy: Hey. If I teach you guys anything, don't ever get married.
Ryan: I've heard that from you before.
Sandy: And you'll hear it again. I'll be at the bar.

Kirsten: No. You're going Sandy, this is important to me.
Sandy: You know, there is a lot of things that are important to me that you don't do.
Kirsten: Like what?
Sandy: Like golfing. Lots of couples golf together.
Kirsten: Shortly before dying of old age.

Seth: Is someone going overboard with this holiday?
Kirsten: Oh, like you're one to talk, Christmukkah any one?
Sandy: Well, at least that's a real holiday.
Seth: Tell her dad.

Summer: You're in my house.
Seth: And you're dressed. I wonder who's most disappointed.

(As Ryan Adam's cover of Wonderwall plays)
Summer: (laughs) You're so cheesy Cohen.
Seth: I'm sweeping you off your feet.
Summer: The sad part is, you kinda are.

Seth (to Captain Oats): Not to rub it in, man, but I think Princess Sparkle is your type.

Sandy: You know, the thing about Ryan—
Marissa: No, this isn't about Ryan.
Sandy: I know. But the thing about Ryan...

Seth: I need to talk to you. Girl stuff.
Sandy: You've come to the master.
(Kirsten sniggers)
Sandy: Hey, I got you.
Kirsten: I was young, impressionable, and drunk.
Seth: Only child, right here.

Jimmy (examining a package): Well it's not ticking. So it can't be from your mom.

Seth: It's not like, like now that Anna and I broke up I'm now choosing you. Okey? Coz the whole reason that we broke up, it's cuz for me - it's always been you Summer. It's always been you. I've tried to fight it and I've tried to deny it and I can't, I can't do it. You're undeniable.

Sandy: What are we fighting about?
Kirsten: I am not sure, but it's serious!

Seth: Well, Ryan, I'm a man now. Not just like an after-your-Bar Mitzvah-man, but a man man. I had sex with a girl. Summer to be more specific.
Ryan: How was it?
Seth: I had sex!
Ryan: That bad?
Seth: No, not that bad, just kinda weird.

(Summer removes her shirt)
Seth: Whatever you say Summer. Yes. Yes.

Marissa: Are you limping?
Summer: Yeah, Cohen kneed me in the leg.
Marissa: Why?
Summer: Must have read it in Kama Sutra.
Marissa: So you guys had sex again?
Summer: If you can call it that. There were like limbs, everywhere.

Sandy: It's great that you hung in there after all the foreplay.
Seth: Fore what now?

Ryan: What did you do to your eye?
Seth: It's just a little bit blurry. Summer poked me in it with her big toe.
Ryan: What, why?
Seth: I don't know man, it was an accident, there were limbs everywhere, I'm lucky I can still see.

Seth: It was a little weird. And not like kinky weird, more like awkward. But, hey, you know what? It was my first time, she's a more experienced woman, that's to be expected. But I did make some faces in the middle that I wish I could take back, but I can't and there was also a sort of whiny noise that came out at the end that probably wasn't my finest hour and ... I sucked so bad! I was like a fish flopping around on dry land. I was Nemo, and I just wanted to go home.

Summer: Last night ... you weren't the only virgin in the room.
Seth: What? Who else was in there? Were they filming us?
Summer: Me, jackass!