The Odd Couple Season 4 Episode 21

Murray: (seeing Felix fainted on the floor) Oscar! Well, you finally did it, huh?

Oscar: (helping a fainted Felix) Loosen his tie!
Murray: It's hard. It's a double Windsor knot!

Felix: Oh, Murray! What's wrong with people? They walk right by crime, accidents, pregnancy. The only thing they'll stop for is a suicide. People love to yell, "Jump!"

Oscar: I got robbed! Where's Murray?
Felix: What?! What happened?! Where? Who? Why?
Oscar: On the corner. I was trying to hail a cab to get to the hockey game.
Felix: And a guy just came and stuck you up?
Oscar: He even introduced himself. He said, "Hi, my name is Phil, hand over your wallet." Then two guys ran from across the street.
Felix: Did they come and help you?
Oscar: No! They took my cab!

Sergeant Chomsky: We are going to have a judo class. I am going to be the instructor. I do not want any volunteer. (pointing at Felix) I want you!

Felix: Let me see your hands. (Oscar shows them) Good. They're clean.
Oscar: What difference does that make?
Felix: Well, if you frisk a man, you don't want to soil his clothing, do you?

Felix: Cover me, Oscar.
Oscar: With what? My hat?