Felix: Look around you. I painted the whole room!
Oscar: Oh, yeah.
Felix: It's Flaming Peach.
Oscar: What color was it before?
Felix: Spanish Mildew.
Oscar: Okay, Bubba, what was your most embarrassing moment?
Bubba Smith: When my parents named me "Bubba."
(Felix unveils chairs shaped like giant hands)
Felix: Aren't they super?
Oscar: No! I send you out for some chairs, you come back with a couple of hands!
Felix: But they're just like ordinary chairs. Sit down!
Oscar: But they're hands! I feel like an M&M.
Felix: Aren't they comfortable?
Felix: Try this chair. I can sit anywhere. I'm ambidextrous.
Felix: Oscar, when you decorate an apartment, you're creating a new environment. You don't just throw everything in. You buy one piece at a time. We'll live with the chairs a couple of days, then we'll say to a chair, "What would you like around you?"
Oscar: And it'll say, "Gloves."
(Myrna sits in a "hand" chair)
Felix: How do you feel?
Myrna: I sorta feel like I'm insured by Allstate.
Felix: You've tried many ways to get me out of here. Tried tricks, you've tried anger. You even tried physical expulsion. You finally succeeded with the old standby -- bad taste. Ratso Rizzo had a cuter apartment!
Felix: It's a conversation piece.
Oscar: Tell it to shut up.