The Office Season 3 Episode 6

Pam: I feel a little underdressed. But at least I'm not dressed like a slutty cheerleader, right? Is that mean?

Michael: These s'mores are disgusting.
Carol: They're not s'mores. They're samosas.
Michael: Do you think they have any s'mores?

Phyllis: Isn't this fun, not wearing shoes?
Angela: I wish some of us still had our shoes on.
Kevin: Stop it. It's a disease. I've...told you.

Michael: My Indian cultural seminar was going great until Toby decided that he was too immature to deal with culturally explicit images. It's just sex, people. Everybody does it. I'm doing it with Carol. Probably tonight.

Dwight: I see dead people.
Michael: Okay! Spoiler alert.
Dwight: He was dead the whole time.
Michael: Just stop it!

Jim: I started biking to work. Josh does it. And he lives a lot farther away than I do. And also, it saves gas money, it keeps me in shape, helps the environment. And now I know it makes me really sweaty for work.

Dwight: Kelly, I'll take this one. Diwali is a celebration of the coronation god king Rama after his epic battle with Ravena, the demon king of Lanka. It symbolizes the battle between good and evil.
Michael: All right, all right. This isn't Lord of the Rings.

Ryan: Well, I was a temp, but I got promoted...so um, the compensation is a lot more competitive.
Kelly's Mom: So you're saving money now to start a family and home.
Ryan: Or, um, travel And, um, buy an XBox.

Michael: And another thing about the Indian people they love sex positions. I present to you the Kama Sutra. Look at that. Who's seen that before?
Creed: I have. That the "union of the monkey."
Meredith: Oh, that's what they call it.
Kevin: (emphatically) This is the best meeting we have ever had.

Angela: And that blue busty gal, what's her story?
Kevin: She looks like Pam from the neck down.
Dwight: Pam wishes.

Kevin: Are you guys going to this Indian thing tonight?
Roy: I don't know. Who's, uh, who's going?
Kevin: You mean, like, is Pam going.
Angela: Don't go. They eat monkey brains.
Michael: Hey, hey, hey. Stop that, that is offensive. Indians do not eat monkey brains. And if they do, sign me up because I am sure that they are very tasty and nutritional. (sighs)It's important that this company celebrates its diversity. You know what Stanley? Come Kwanzaa time, I have got you covered, baby.
Stanley: I don't celebrate Kwanzaa.
Michael: Really? You should, it's fun.

Michael: (snickering) Nice dress, Ryan.
Kelly: It's not a dress. It's a kurtha.
Michael: Okay. (cut to confessional)Tonight, one of our most ethnic co-workers, Kelly, has invited us all to a Diwali celebration put on by her community.
cut back to the office
Kelly: (to Ryan) You look so handsome.
Pam: You really do. I love the material.
Kelly: I know.
Michael: (softly) How come you didn't get me one?

Michael: Now, a lot of people say that Kelly is one in a million, and that's true, but it's also not true because frankly, there are literally billions of people like Kelly in the world. Here are some famous Indians: Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar—he is a Nobel Prize winning physicist; Apu from The Simpsons—hilarious Indian.