Travel Agency Guy
Stanley is shown to have depression, mood swings, muscle cramps, and fatigue. This is seen in a brief scene when there is a close up of one of the employee's health care forms.
After Dwight says "There will be no health care for anyone!" there is a crew member visible in his workspace through the glass. It can only be seen for a few frames.
Michael: If Dwight fails, then that is strike two, and good for me for giving him a second chance. And if he succeeds, then, you know, no one will be prouder than I am. I groomed him. I made him what he is today. Unless he fails, and we've talked about that already.
Jim: Well if you've never been sick, then you don't have any antibodies.
Dwight: I don't need them. Superior genes. I'm a Schrute. And superior brain power.
Michael: …Robin Williams, oh man, would I love to go head-to-head with him! Oh, that would be exciting, hi, uh, I'm Mork from Ork. Well I'm, I'm Bork from Spork. Nanu nanu! Zippity bloo bloo!
Dwight: In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, "Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me. I'm dead." Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead.
Pam: I'm inventing new diseases.
Jim: Oh great.
Pam: So like, let's say that my teeth turn to liquid...
Pam: ...and then, they drip down the back of my throat, what would you call that?
Jim: I thought you said you were inventing diseases. That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion.
Pam: Oh, nice.
Jim: Thank you.
Dwight: I'm not mad, I just wanna know who did it so that I can punish them.
Oscar: (about Michael) He literally won't come out of his office.
Kevin: He's gotta come out sometime... to go to the bathroom. (laughs)
Angela: Kevin, that's inappropriate.
Dwight: Who wrote this, this hysterical one? Anal fissures.
Kevin: That's a real thing.
Dwight: Yeah, but no one here has it.
Kevin: (quietly) Someone has it.
Dwight: Someone forged medical information, and that is a felony.
Jim: Okay, whoa... all right, 'cause that's a pretty intense accusation. How do you know that they're fake?
Dwight: (reading from a sheet) Uh, Leprosy, Flesh Eating Bacteria, Hot Dog Fingers, Government Created Killer Nano Robot Infection.
Dwight: The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition won't receive the care they need because someone in this office is coming up with ridiculous stuff. Count Choculitis.
Jim: Sounds tough.
Dwight: Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?
Dwight: Number one: Inverted Penis.
Meredith: Could you mean vagina? Cause if you do, I want that covered.
Dwight: I thought your vagina was removed during your hysterectomy.
Meredith: A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina.
Jan: (on phone) Dwight, listen to me very carefully: you are not a manager of anything. Understand?
Dwight: That's not entirely true, because he put me in charge of picking a healthcare plan.
Jan: Really? Okay, when Michael gets back, you tell him to call me immediately.
Dwight: Call you immediately, good. Hey, listen, since I have you on the phone, um, can I fire Jim?
Dwight: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam: Why would you wanna raise your cholesterol?
Dwight: So I can lower it.
Dwight: Please knock, this is an office.
Jim: (indicating Dwights sign) It says 'work space.'
Dwight: Same thing.
Jim: If it's the same thing, then why did you write 'work space?'
Dwight: Okay, first, let's go over some parameters. How many people can I fire?
Michael: Uh, none. You're picking a healthcare plan.
Jim: Right now this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, then this would be my career. And uh... well, if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train.
Jim: Last night on Trading Spouses there's—did you see it?
Pam: No, I have a life.
Jim: Interesting, what's that like?
Pam: You should try it some time.
Jim: Wow. But then who would watch my TV?
Jan: Sometimes a manager, like yourself, has to deliver the bad news to the employees. I do it all the time.
Michael: Oh yeah, when have you ever done that?
Jan: I'm doing it right now, to you.
Michael: The most sacred thing I do is care and provide for my workers, my family. I give them money, I give them food. Not directly, but through the money. I heal them. Today I am in charge of picking a great new healthcare plan. Right? That's what this is all about. Does that make me their doctor? Umm... yes, in a way. Yeah, like a specialist.
Pam: There's nothing new.
Michael: That's not what you said earlier.
Pam: Oh, do you want me to repeat the messages that I gave you before?
The German episode title is "Gesundheitsapostel", meaning "Health Fanatic". The French title is "La Mutuelle", and the Spanish title is "El seguro médico", both exact translations. The Italian title is "Un piano perfetto", meaning "A Perfect Plan".
Two elements of this episode borrowed from the original British series:
* Dwight and Michael argue over whether the workspace is an office. David and Gareth have a similar argument in the second episode of Season One.
* Jim locks Dwight in his workspace. Tim does the same to Gareth in The Office Christmas Special .
When the episode was rebroadcast on March 29, 2007 as part of an "HR Nightmares" marathon, a brief interview with Toby was added as an epilogue. In it, Toby explains that he changed the health care plan to an HMO, but Michael thought he picked a "homo".
The final scene was scripted as "The longest pause in television history." It ultimately went two and a half minutes, so long that Steve Carell broke into a sweat from the awkwardness of the situation.
Michael says, "I learned improv from the greats. Like Drew Carey and Ryan Stiles." He is referring to the improvisational sketch comedy Whose Line Is It Anyway?, which starred Drew Carey, Ryan Stiles, and Wayne Brady. Formerly airing on ABC, reruns now air on ABC Family. It's also interesting to note that Steve Carell originally auditioned to appear in the original UK version of Whose Line, but was turned down.
Michael sees Pam at the copy machine, and exclaims, "Pamalama ding dong, making copies," imitating a Saturday Night Live character named Richard Lamer played by Rob Schneider in the early 90's. Richard's desk was in the copy room, and when his co-workers entered to make copies he would rhyme their names with gibberish and follow it by saying, "making copies."
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