The Pretender

Season 4 Episode 11

Cold Dick

Aired Saturday 9:00 PM Feb 12, 2000 on NBC

Episode Fan Reviews (1)

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  • I wants to get funked up!

    Cold Dick is arguably the best titled Pretender episode. It's also a spiritual successor to the lighthearted third season episode Unsinkable. Both feature Argyle as a guest star (and his father) and both play out in a campy and pulpy sort of way with Jarod throwing in narration and freeze frames to accompany the bizarre stuff that's going on.

    In the context of The Pretender it's as close to a dream episode as you're going to get (the kind you get when you fall asleep, not 'ideal'). Will you love it or hate it? Who knows. I love it - this kind of thing is what makes the Pretender so much fun, yet only two episodes out of 80-something are done this way. The downside is that it advances none of the show's main plot and the Broots / Miss Parker scenes are actually a dream sequence. Doesn't stop them from being absolutely hilarious, though.

    The main part of the episodes features Jarod and Argyle (the latter is both the funniest and most annoying character you've ever seen) out to solve a minor mystery and rescue Argyle's 'true love,' a woman with whom he spent exactly two minutes talking. Nevermind that. Due to circumstances, or more accurately 'Argyle's bumbling,' Jarod assumes the role of a private eye named Richard Dixon, or just Dick Dixon if you prefer. Due to the actual detective's penchant for sleeping with women (or just wives), Jarod gets punched in the face an awful lot while questioning people.

    Meanwhile, Broots and Miss Parker travel to a hotel where Broots is certain Jarod will appear at. Convinced it will help them blend in as newlyweds, they share a room. What happens from there is literally Broots' dream come true, and other than a too-long bit where he's dancing and a disturbing desire to be called Puff Daddy, it's pretty damn funny. This is reinforced near the end during one of the most scarring scenes in television history, where a thong-wearing Mr. Raines dances into the room, utters the unforgettable line "I wants to get funked up!" and attempts to go down on a screaming Broots.

    Yeah, that's basically the episode right there.

    It's one of the most bizarre things in the history of The Pretender, but in a good way. Well, a painfully good way. Disgustingly hilarious.
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