The Red Green Show

Season 11 Episode 9

The Chainsaw Races

Aired Friday 8:30 PM Dec 07, 2001 on CBC

Episode Recap

Red shows a quick way to paint a room in the house. After covering the window with newspapers and the floor with old articles of clothing, Red hooks a lawn sprinkler to a motor and runs one end of a hose into a bucket of green paint. Red steps outside, plugs in the power cord for the motor for what he figures is two coats of paint and heads off to tell his friends about his idea. At the lodge, Red says it's the weekend for the second annual chainsaw races where lodge members mount chain saws onto skateboards for a race. Harold enters and says a bus full of intellectually gifted children is about to arrive and they will be at the lodge for the whole weekend. Red thinks the kids should take in the chainsaw races as they are safe for everybody just as a tree topples over in the background with the sound of chain saw running heard nearby. For the Word Game segment, Red tries to get Dalton to say the word ' Early ' for the prize of a copy of a brand new book titled Dressing Yourself..For Utter Morons. On Handyman Corner, Red looks to turn a van into the world's largest boom box. Red takes a large number of fridge magnets in a bucket that will be used as the magnet on the back of his speaker. For the speaker cone, Red uses a plastic kiddy pool turned upside down and attaches a garbage can with Christmas lights wrapped around it and the magnets. For power, Red uses a large number of amplifiers from old radios and such and after turning up the volume, Red climbs into the van, puts on ear protection and drives up next to a parked car, which flips over from the music blaring from the van. For his advice corner segment, Red says that men need to learn that to survive as a happily married man, you need to sneak food. Red says you have to eat fast when sneaking food in the middle of the night and hide the evidence. In the next segment, Red is driving the Possum Van with Dalton and Mike as his passengers when he is pulled over by the police. Red realizes he doesn't have his wallet with him and Dalton offers to switch places with him but Dalton realizes his license has expired. Mike, saying he has a license, switches with Dalton and shows his license to Red, which identifies Mike as Jesus Rodriguez. Dalton gets his phone and reports a theft in Port Asbestos and gives his name as Jesus Rodriguez. Moments later, the police car leaves the scene to the joy of Red and the others. At the lodge, Red enters by chain sawing through the lodge door followed by Harold and Harold says the chain saw races interfere with his hosting the group of gifted children. One of the kids names Thornton enters and says Red and the members are setting a poor example for everyone and endangering the environment with their antics. For the black and white segment, Winston, Red, Walter and Dalton are working on equipment for a children's play area in back of the lodge. After a very short time, the equipment they are using quickly poses a threat to them all as Winston's nail gun is spraying nails everywhere and the table saw cuts the sign reading KIDDIE AREA in half and it reads DIE AREA. Eventually, though, everything falls silent and the four stagger to the center of the area to talk thing over. For the Experts segment, Dwight advises a letter writer who wants to know if they have any tips for his starting to do skydiving. Red says the person should listen to his inner voice that tells him to not do idiotic things like skydiving but Dwight says he likes skydiving as all you have to do is fall and gravity does all the work for you. Back at the lodge, Red enters and says it might be the last year for the chain saw races. Red goes on to say that normally they raced them two at a time but this year they let them all go at the same time and the chain saws got out of control. Harold and Thornton enter with their pants normally shredded and Harold is upset and wonders what he is going to tell the parents. Red suggests that the children should be fast enough to get out of the way and Thornton chimes in that he thought the whole thing was cool. Red gets Thornton to join him for his closing words and for the lodge meeting, where a lodge member's missing chain saw is located when a saw bounces down the stairs of the lodge during the meeting.