Possum Lodge Word Game:
Prize: A weekend for two at the Solitaire Championships.
Player: Mike Hamar
(playing the Word Game)
Red: If your wife has kids, you'll be...
Mike: ...long gone.
Red: Oh, oh, oh! Just like your...
(Red rings the bell to end the game)
Red: (deciding to do a telescope for his science project) I could be a great astronomer, Harold!
Harold: Well, he's always been good at staring off into space.
Harold: Stinky Peterson has the trophy. Doctors can have that removed, though. The real winner was Andrea McClintock. The judges said that her project on fire extinguishers was rather timely!
Red: But Harold, I heard that your project made it to the Port Asbestos finals.
Harold: No, that's just where most of the pieces landed!
Red: This is a family member, Mike, the man who slept with your mother.
Mike: (after a short pause) Could you be a little more specific?
Red: I'm going to enter the crystal radio into the science fair myself.
Harold: Okay, but Uncle Red, the science fair is only open to high school students.
Red: I never graduated.
Red: Awwww, come on, Harold. My dad helped me with homework.
Harold: Well, that's 'cause you guys were in the same grade!
Red: Men aren't lost. They just take the long way.
Red: A man does not embrace the concept of going up to total strangers and saying " You may not know this but I'm a moron." whereas the woman that he's with is only too happy to share that information.
Harold: Girls like guys who look like scientists.
Red: That could be but you look more like an experiment, Harold.
Red: One fellow has made a real interesting batch. It doesn't taste too bad.
Harold: Is it wine or is it beer?
Red: Kinda hard to tell, Harold. I'd say it's either a sparkling wine or a light beer.
Bob Bainborough and Jeff Lumby are listed as Contributing Writers in this episode's credits.