The Replacements Season 1 Episode 3

(Riley is trying to study in the garage, where C.A.R. is blasting music and dancing)
Riley: Your music is too loud!
C.A.R.: What? I can't hear you, my music is too loud!
Riley: Turn it down!
C.A.R.: Why would I want to burn a clown?
Riley: Forget it. (leaves)
C.A.R.: (laughing) My room, my rules.

Todd: (To Riley) Please don't make me go in there. I've heard...things.

Todd: Oh, couldn't I go to the dentist instead?
Riley: Todd, it's the end of the semester and we all have projects due. I know you haven't finished your reprot on bovine growth hormones.
Todd: It's not as fun as it sounds.

Riley: Wow, Todd. You somehow knew that it couldn't attack you in order to protect you. What a great plan!
Todd: Plan? Oh right, my brilliant plan, of course.

RoboFleem SGX: Self destruct mode activated. Have a nice day.

Donnie: You got some nerve showing your ugly mug around here.
Todd: But, but, but, I go to school here!
Donnie: Yeah, like I haven't heard that one before!

Todd: Hey, Dad. I'm having trouble with a bully.
Dick Daring: A bully? Well, Todd, dealing with bullys is no more dificult than the stunts I do.
Todd: Maybe I should go ask Mom.
Dick Daring: I would.

Buzz: Nice shoes, Todd. It would be a shame if someone did this. (steps on shoe)
Todd: Sorry, Buzz. Your bullying is a little behind in time.
Buzz: Hey, no shoe is going to outsmart me!

Shelton: Todd, Todd! Mr Stample's gone and Donnie's on a rampage, with the beating and the crying and the 'oh, please Mr. Bully, don't eat my calculator!' (Donnie Approaches them, Shelton Runs off Screaming) Ahh, hide your calculators everybody!

Todd: (Hanging from a Tree Branch by His Pants) This couldn't be any more painful. (The Tree Branch Breaks, Dropping Todd to the Ground) Okay, now it couldn't be any more painful. (The Tree Falls on Him) I should just shut up.

Riley: Well, at least it can't get any louder. (Delivery Guy With a Cart Full of Speakers Runs Into the Library) Well, I'm glad to see not every kid is falling for-(A Lot of Kids Run Into the Library) Surely the teachers will put a stop to this! (All the Teachers Run Into the Library) What's next, a hippopotamus? (A Hippopotamus Runs Into the Library) Show me unicorns! (Nothing Happens) Ah, come on, it worked when I said hippopotamus! (Another Hippopotamus Runs Into the Library)

Riley: Todd, what have you done? The other kids are gonna hate not being able to-Todd?
(Shows Todd and All the Other Kids Partying)

Buzz: Libraries are for nerds with mustaches. I'll never go in there and I'll never grow a mustache.
Riley: If you don't study, Buzz, you'll be in summer school again. Where I'll be your tutor.
Buzz: No girl with a mustache is going to tutor me! You'll have to catch me first. Freedom!

Riley: (Staring at dinner) What's in that, Mom?
Agent K: That's on a need to know basis.

Todd: Libraries are awesome!
Dick Daring: They sure are. They're easy to jump over on a motorcycle and, if you happen to fall from a skylight, they can break your fall.