The Royle Family

Season 1 Episode 2

Making Ends Meet!

Aired Unknown Sep 21, 1998 on BBC
out of 10
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Episode Summary

Making Ends Meet!
The family sit themselves in front of the TV, after having dinner, and are forced to listen to Jim's moan's about the cost of the wedding.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (2)

    • QUOTES (7)

      • Jim: (to Barbara) What do you keep buying that bloody cheap toilet paper for? It's cutting my arse to ribbons.
        Denise: Mam, tell him, he's doing it on purpose now.
        Barbara: When I was buying the dear stuff you complained.
        Jim: I didn't.
        Barbara: You did, said you 'may as well wipe your arse on pound notes.
        Jim: (Jim starts to laugh hysterically) Oh, yeah, I did, yeah, I did, yeah.

      • Barbara (talking to Denise who obviously isn't listening): Oh - you know that Donna who works with me. Well, she only works half days - afternoons. And her Mam usually picks the kids up for her; anyway - her Mam's going into hospital and she won't be able to pick the kids up for her. So, Donna, wants to swap to mornings', so - she has to see Pauline. So, she goes and sees Pauline and she says "Can I swap to mornings?" and she tells her, you know, about her Mam going to hospital and all that. And Pauline's not having any of it - she's got herself in a right pickle. What's she going to do?
        Denise: What are you on about?
        Barbara: Donna!
        Jim: What's the matter with her?
        Barbara: Well, her Mam you see normally picks the kids up for her in the afternoons' after school - but she's going into hospital so she won't be able to. So Donna wanted to swap - Pauline won't let her. So she's stuck with someone to pick the kids' up for her, ain't she.
        Jim: Well, what's that got to do with you? I mean it's not your bloody problem is it?
        Barbara: I'm just telling you!
        Jim: Well, don't you think I've got enough to worry about myself?
        Barbara (sighs): You've no interest in anyone but yourself, Jim!

      • Jim: I'll pick what I want in me own house and when she gets her own house she can pick what she likes - her nose, her arse, her teeth. Just go and treat yourself.
        Barbara: Oh, I'm ashamed of this family, I am really.

      • Jim: Whats the matter with you Denise? You got a face like a smacked arse.

      • Jim: Your mother won't have long now I bet.
        Barbara: Jim!
        Jim: Well, she's had a good innings.
        Barbara: You're a miserable sod at times you. What sort of thing is that to say?
        Jim: Uh, I think I've cheered myself up. Is there any Penguins left?

      • Denise: Dad, stop fiddling with yourself.
        Jim: I'm not fiddling with myself...I paid a quid for these underpants. I've got fifty pence worth stuck up my arse.

      • Denise: Ma'am, will you tell Antony to stop slurping his tea?
        Barbara: Antony, stop slurping your tea.
        Antony: Dave eats like a pig and you never say owt to him.
        Denise: He doesn't eat like a pig. That's asthma thanks very much.

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)