Sarah's watching TV, switching between channels, when she receives a phone call from her friend Natalie Bishop, and not tall-thin Natalie. Natalie is moving the next day and wonders if her close friends would be kind enough to help her have a little moving party with beer and pizza. Sarah enthusiastically accepts, "Of course I'll you move your furniture for a slice of pizza, I'm only human." Sarah then puts Natalie on hold, gives her dog a scratch and then pretends to be in some serious emotional situation to which she hangs up the phone leaving Natalie to wonder what happened, not ever getting an answer.
An advertisement that will be showing for the next 36 hours just popped on the TV and Sarah's worst nightmare comes to life - she can't change the channel! Her batteries have died. She has to do the unthinkable and go to the store and get some batteries. The viewers are then taken into Sarah's past where we come to see that her father believes she'll never be able to go to the store without screwing it up!
Sarah's on her way to the Fan-Tasti-Mart! to get some batteries when she's blocked by a wheelchair marathon. Unable to drive through she struggles to find an alternative route. Eventually she does, and bumps into one of her many homeless friends, Mr. Johnson. Sarah mixes him up with the post office hobo and accidentally brings back unwanted memories of the war for him but she thinks she's doing a good job. Sarah suddenly realizes she has no money and so calls her sister for five dollars.
Sarah meets up with her friends for brunch and in the midst of the food Steve and Brian have a little farting contest. Sarah soon joins in but instead of farting she poops. Queue Sarah sing about what she wishes and an introduction to God who grants her one wish. He reverses time and instead of pooping she farts, impressing everyone around the table. Sarah takes the three dollars on hand from her sister and heads off to the shop once again.
At the shop Sarah attempts to buy batteries for $3.49 with 3 dollars, she even uses her wiles to play the sympathetic figure, but guest star Masi Oska, otherwise known as Hiro from Heroes fame, is having none of it as the shop clerk. Sarah purposely knocks over a display of sunglasses and quickly steals the batteries before running out the store. The clerk alerts the cops outside manning the wheelchair marathon and the chase is on. Sarah is cornered in an alleyway and calls upon God to save her. He surely does, and before you know it, Sarah later ends up in bed with the almighty himself. The next morning Sarah awakes unsatisfied. She quickly gives God the cold shoulder, telling him where his pants are as an unsubtle hint.
Sarah finally has her batteries and can now turn off the television. Sarah's astounded to hear her dead fathers voice, who appears to tell her how proud he is of her. However it's soon revealed it's the "Black God!" in disguise. Then, out of nowhere, the leukemia child from the commercials appears and kicks Sarah in the crotch. The episode ends in a cheesy sit-com styled fashion.