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Grace: You can't let Amy get suspended from school!
Adrian: Well, I can't help her now. She went off on Coach. Yeah.
Grace: Because you got her upset.
Adrian: Because I...implied that her mother was a slut. Look, I was just one-upping the conversation! Everyone knows that if you get called a slut, the next person will call the other person's mother a slut. I don't know why she took it so personally.
Ben: (to Ricky) Oh. It's good to know that you can't keep your woman in line, and neither can her father, so how do you expect me to control Amy?
Bunny: (walks in) Oh, please. Do go on, gentleman. How is the best way to control a woman? Tell me.
Ricky: I didn't mean control. I just meant...
Ricky: Someone has to get through to Amy.
Bunny: Why? Because Amy doesn't have a mind of her own?
Ben: Oh, no, no, no, no. Amy has a mind of her own, believe me, and so does Adrian.
Bunny: You want some advice, the two of you? Get to work!
Ricky: Bunny, there's no one in here. It's the end of the day. You, like Amy and Adrian, are a very strong woman. Couldn't you give us some life advice?
Bunny: People who don't understand cows shouldn't handle beef. Free range cattle are happy and provide a more tender cut. There's an old Yiddish saying which, uh, changed a bit because I'm Irish: "Whoever needs meat is a slave to the cow". (Ben and Ricky stare at her blankly) What are you, a vegetarian? (walks out)
Ben: (to Ricky) Good job asking women for advice...
Coach: I don't have any problems with the band, but it is the football team that keeps this school running. The money made at the concession stands at our games pays for the landscaping at this school!
Ben: And I'm sure you're right, sir. Amy, can we just talk?
Amy: (ignoring him) Your games? Those are our games too, you know. Are you disparaging the band? Because our band has won state competitions. Your football team has never won state. Your football team's our opening act.
Ben: (to Coach) She's on crack...or...or something. Or raging hormones, or light crack, or at least that's what I understand.
Amy: If that's your way of defending me, then step aside!
Adrian: I wanted to try to apologize to you again.
Amy: Go ahead. I hope you do a better job than you did last time.
Adrian: Me, too. Okay, look, Amy. I'm really sorry you called me a slut and got suspended from school.
Amy: That's your idea of an apology?
Adrian: I'm not finished. I'm also really sorry that you're totally insecure, selfish, and naive.
Amy: Is that right? Well, I'm sorry that you're a slut, a slut, and a slut.
Adrian: I'm not sorry, because being a slut is going to keep Ricky interested in me and not you.
Amy: Aren't you being insecure? If sex is so great with you, then why are you so afraid that Ricky will be interested in me? Maybe having a baby together gives Ricky and I a deeper bond than you'll ever have with him. Just because the two of you are having sex?
Adrian: That's an interesting point. I think I might discuss that with my friend Ben. You know, in the long run, while Ricky may love his son, he's probably never going to love you, because you ruined his life. Good night. Oh, and again, I'm sorry. (leaves)
Ruben: I'm trying to get you to do the right thing.
Adrian: All right.
Ruben: All right what?
Adrian: I didn't do anything wrong! At least not until you tried to make me apologize!
Ruben: The bigger picture, Adrian. Look at the bigger picture. You're about to move in next door to the mother of your boyfriend's child. Now, it is important that everyone gets along. That's the bigger picture, not who's right and who's wrong, but that everyone get along.
Adrian: You've made a career out of who's right and who's wrong, haven't you? You ever tell a guy who got mugged that it was his fault, that he just has to get along with a mugger? No. Of course not. (smiles) Wow. I'm gonna be a real good attorney, aren't I?
Ruben: I want you to be a really good person first, and then a good attorney.
Adrian: I am a really good person. I just hate Amy Juergens, and you know what else? I'm an honest person for saying that. Good night.
Ruben: (sighs) If I had any hair, it would be gray by now.
Coach: Stupid football players? I don't have any stupid football players! The "stupid football players" maintain a B average!
Amy: And everyone knows how they maintain that B average.
Coach: What? Let me tell you something, little lady.
Amy: "Little lady"? Don't you mean "little mommy"?
Adrian: You look nice this morning.
Amy: You do too, for a...
Adrian: Slut? You're gonna call me a slut again? Is that how it's gonna be?
Amy: Mm-hmm. So think about that before you move in. If you move in.
Adrian: We're moving in, all right. And you think about this. Ricky can just pick up his son and walk over to my house anytime he wants. And then I can hold John, and feed him, and rock him. I'll be like a second mom.
Ruben: How did you let this happen, huh? You want to be a prosecutor one day? You want to do what I do? Then you have to learn to keep a public face. You get along with everyone, because getting along is to your benefit.
Adrian: Then I'll do something else. I don't have to do what you do.
Ruben: What are you gonna do that doesn't require getting along with other people?
Amy: Look, Coach.
Coach: You talking to me?
Amy: You're the coach, aren't you? You should be talking to [Adrian], not me. I'm the good one.
Coach: Watch out, then.
Amy: What? Adrian called my mother a slut! She implied it, anyway.
Coach: You called Adrian a slut. I heard you.
Amy: Yeah, but she...we...we were having a private conversation.
Coach: There are no private conversations in high school! And I'm warning you. Show a little respect for me.
Amy: I am not one of your stupid little football players.
Adrian: Guess who's getting suspended from school?
Grace: I hope Jack, or Madison.
Grace: What? Oh, no!
Adrian: Oh, yeah! For calling me a slut.
Grace: But you--
Adrian: Don't say it, unless you want to get suspended too.
Grace: What happened?
Adrian: My dad asked me to apologize, because we're gonna be neighbors, and I agreed. I saw her, I went up to her, and I tried to apologize. I was so nice to her, it's crazy. I extended my hand to her, and she spit in my face! (Grace's mouth drops open) Not literally, but she called me a low-class whore, which is the same as spitting in my face.
Grace: You said she called you a slut.
Adrian: I know. I was just embellishing! And it's what she wanted to say, all because I held that stupid baby.
Ricky: We can't be together if you're not friends with Amy.
Adrian: What?!? How can I be friends with Amy when she called me a no good, lying, cheating, two-bit, low-class whore?
Adrian: Yeah! And then she spit in my face...practically.
Amy: You have to suspend me? What do you mean "have to"?
Coach: You called Adrian a slut, and then you disrespected me.
Amy: I know, but Adrian is a slut! I didn't know you were anything more than a coach. I thought you were just the coach.
Coach: You're not helping yourself.
Amy: (on the phone with her mother) Mom, Adrian implied that you were a slut. That's why I got so upset.
Anne: Well, who cares what Adrian thinks? I have a date tonight. (long pause, Amy says nothing) Well, aren't you excited?
Amy: I just got suspended from school!
Anne: Don't be so dramatic. It's just one day. Listen, I'll meet you out in front, and we'll go to the mall before I drop you off at the church nursery.
Amy: The mall?
Anne: Yeah. I don't have anything to wear. Nothing that fits, anyway. Okay, so here's what I want you to do. Is the coach still there?
Amy: He's waiting outside the office.
Anne: Perfect. When you walk out of there, just keep your head down, look ashamed, and head straight for the door.
Amy: Aren't you supposed to be yelling at me or something? What is wrong with you?
Anne: I'm excited! He's an old friend, and he used to be really cute. Go. Go. I'm on my way. (hangs up)
Amy: I don't want Adrian anywhere near John, and if you're gonna stay around Adrian, then I'm afraid I don't want you around John.
Ricky: Well, then Amy, I could get a lawyer and establish my rights in court. That's right. I have rights as John's father.
Amy: It's not fair. It's not fair! I'm his mother. I do all the hard stuff. I don't want you and Adrian just to take our son out and have a good time while I'm at home doing all the hard work!
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