The Showbiz Show with David Spade

Season 1 Episode 1


Aired Thursday 10:00 PM Sep 15, 2005 on Comedy Central



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • "Michael Jackson is selling his Neverland Ranch -- apparently now that it's 15 years old he doesn't find it attractive anymore."

    • Spade: (before the commercial break) Alright, well we'll be back after these 30-second movies trying to sell you things…

    • Spade: Meanwhile, on the set of her new movie, Paris is having trouble remembering her lines. According to reports, producers are looking for someone to **** her brains back in.

    • Spade: Paris Hilton was so upset when she came across a shop selling these offensive bumper stickers (an image onscreen shows bumper stickers bearing the words 'I'd **** Paris') that she bought every sticker in the store before anyone else could.
      Spade: She was even more upset when she learned of the invention of the printing press and the concept of mass production

    • Spade: The Screen Actor's Guild will give a Lifetime Achievement Award to Shirley Temple Black. And Parkdale Middle School will give a math award to Shirley Temple Asian.

    • Spade: Orlando Bloom and Kate Bosworth are back together replacing Ellen Degeneres and Portia DeRossi as the most powerful lesbian couple in Hollywood.

    • Spade: Jay-Z and Diddy have pledged large donations of clothing from their respective Rockaware and SeanJohn lines to the victims. Cause if there's one thing a hurricane victim needs, it's velour tracksuits.

    • (in reference to an Entertainment Tonight piece on Hurricane Katrina showing John Travolta)
      Spade: Most compelling moments; Moon landing. No, Beatles on Sullivan. No. Oh right, John Travolta just gave a black kid a hat.

    • Spade: That's the showbiz show, remember: If something big is happening in Hollywood, no one cares.

    • (During the second What You Should Know segment)
      Rob Lowe: Talk to your kids about tobacco. Remind them that the only kids who are smoking are the popular ones.

    • (During the first What You Should Know segment)
      Rob Lowe: Freedom of Speech: it's not just our birthright, it's an opportunity to call that bitch at work the 'C' word.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Separated at Birth: The Separated at Death segment mocks many news magazine shows, and Late Night, where they would put two similar celebrities side-by-side and debate their likenesses.

    • The More You Know…: The 'What you Should Know' segment is a send-up of the "The More You Know" segments on NBC as well as Saturday morning shows.