The Simpsons

Season 8 Episode 6

A Milhouse Divided

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Dec 01, 1996 on FOX



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Reverend Lovejoy: Now Kirk, it's only a game. Sometimes we...
      Kirk: Oh cram it, churchy.

    • Nelson: My mom left my dad after she got hooked on cough drops. At the end her breath was so fresh, she wasn't really my mother anymore.

    • Kirk: Oh, my demo tape!
      Homer: (Homer looking at the tape) "Can I Borrow a Feeling?"
      (Laughing) "Can I Borrow a Feeling?" (Still laughing) That's your picture on the front! (Keeps laughing)
      Kirk: Go ahead, Homer, laugh at me.
      Homer: But I already did.

    • Kirk: How about it Luann? Will you marry me...again?
      Luann: Ewwww! No!

    • Dr. Hibbert: Marge, if this was my last meal, I'd tell the warden, "Bring on the lethal injection!"

    • Homer: Marge, will you marry me?
      Marge: Why? Am I pregnant?

    • (playing dress up with the adults coats)
      Bart: Hello, I'm Doctor Hibbert. I'm afraid I'm going to have to amputate ... your butt.
      Milhouse: All right, if you think you must.

    • Marge: Are you ready?
      Homer: (in his underwear) Just gotta put my shoes on!
      Marge: The only thing I asked you to do for this party was put on clothes, and you didn't do it!

    • Otto: (outside Stoner's Pot Palace) Man, that is flagrant false advertising!

    • Bart: If you really wanted us to be neater, you'd serve us out of one long bowl.
      Marge: You're talking about a trough. We're not going to eat out of a trough. And another thing, it's only 5:15. Why are you in your underwear?
      Bart: Hey, this ain't the Ritz.

    • Luann: Okay, Kirk, I'll tell a story. It's about a man whose father-in-law gave him a sweet job as manager of a cracker factory.
      Homer: Bo-ring.
      Luann: A man whose complete lack of business sense, and managerial impotence...
      Homer: Ooh, here we go!
      Luann: ...sent the number one cracker factory in town into a tie for sixth with TableTime and Allied Biscuit.
      (Marge furtively hides a box of Allied Biscuit)

    • Can I Borrow A Feeling? (lyrics)

      Kirk: Can I borrow a feeling?
      Could you lend me a jar of love?
      Hurtin' hearts need some healin'.
      Take my hand with your glove of love.

    • Reverend Lovejoy: I will now read these special vows which Homer has prepared for this occasion. Do you, Marge, take Homer, in richness and in poorness, poorness is underlined, in impotence and in potence, in quiet solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-powered, monkey-navigated... and it goes on like this.

    • Reverend Lovejoy: Dearly beloved--
      Homer: Wait! I want one last chance to enjoy single life. (Scratches butt and burps) Okay, ready.

    • Jerry: Hey, there, Kirk--
      Kirk: (Getting excited) Oh, boy, what's going on? Patio party?
      Jerry: No, a possum drowned in the pool. You have any garbage bags?

    • Kirk: Single life is great, Homer. I can do whatever I want. Today I drank a beer in the bathroom.
      Homer: The one down the hall?
      Kirk: Yeah! And another great thing, you get your own bed. I sleep in a racing car, do you?
      Homer: I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
      Kirk: Oh, yeah...

    • Luann: If you want to talk nervous, you should've seen Kirk deal with the high-school kids who egged our Bonneville.
      Kirk: Ha. Should've asked them to hurl some bacon. Then maybe I could have had a decent breakfast for once.
      Homer: You know what you two need? A little comic strip called "Love Is...". It's about two naked eight-year-olds who are married.
      (Longer pause)

    • Dr. Hibbert: (Giving Bart his fur coat) Well, as you can see, we don't believe fur is murder. But paying for it sure is!

    • Kirk: You're letting me go?
      Cracker Factory Executive: Kirk, crackers are a family food, happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without.
      Kirk: So, that's it after 20 years? "So long. Good luck?"
      Cracker Factory Executive: I don't recall saying "good luck."

    • Marge: Oh! A punchbowl like that just screams good taste. Wouldn't it be perfect for the dinner party?
      Homer: Oh, we can't afford that. Who do you think I am, Liz Taylor?
      Marge: Well, maybe we could use it once and then return it.
      Homer: Marge, we're not talking about a toothbrush here.

    • Homer: I don't like having parties, the toilet always backs up!
      Marge: I don't care if the sink shoots sludge, we're having a party!

    • Marge: I'm going into the dining room to have a conversation. If you want to join me, fine. (Goes into dining room and imitates a second voice) Hello Marge, how's the family? (In regular voice) I don't want to talk about it! Mind your own business! Homer: Keep it down in there, everybody!

    • Homer: You can't keep blaming yourself! Just blame yourself once and then move on!

    • Luann: From now on, forget everything you thought you knew about Luann Van Houten.
      Marge: Actually, Luann, I don't know very much about--
      Luann: Forget it! She's gone! Prest-o, change-o! Kaboom! Sweet Fanny Adams! Bye-bye!

    • Homer: I'd like to file for...divorce.
      (Dramatic music plays)
      Lady Clerk: These things happen. Eight dollars.

    • Kearney's son: I sleep in a drawer.

  • Notes

    • The producers had contacted Sheryl Crow and asked her to record Kirk's song "Can I Borrow A Feeling" to play over the closing credits. Crow declined.

    • The first scene where the family is eating dinner in front of the television with TV trays is the actual test for background artists to be hired for the show.

    • Blackboard Joke: None.
      Couch Gag: Everyone sits on the couch. Bart is a green hue; Homer fixes the TV and Bart changes to a red color, then Homer slaps him upside the head and Bart's color returns to normal.

  • Allusions

    • I Love The Nightlife
      Before burning Kirk's remaining belongings, Luann sings a portion of the chorus from the song "I Love The Nightlife" by Alicia Bridges.

    • American Gladiators
      Chase (aka Pyro)'s occupation is an American Gladiator. The "Atlasphere" that Luann and Chase leave in and the music playing are both from the series American Gladiators.

    • Pandora's Box
      After Luann and Kirk Van Houten separate, Luann's new haircut is identical to Louise Brooks' in the 1928 film Pandora's Box, by G.W. Pabst. Her new boyfriend, Chase, even calls her "Lulu" like Brooks' character in the film.

    • Matthew 12:25
      While obviously referring to Milhouse's split loyalties to both his parents, this episode title is also a whimsical reference to The Bible, specifically Matthew 12:25: "And Jesus said unto them, a house divided against itself shall not stand."

    • Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
      Homer: Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

      This is a reference to Scooby Doo, a animated TV series where a gang of teens and a dog named Scooby drive around solving mysteries.