The Simpsons

Season 17 Episode 14

Bart Has Two Mommies

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Mar 19, 2006 on FOX



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • (after a monkey kidnaps Bart)
      Homer: Aren't you going to do something?!
      Ape Handler: I'm afraid there's nothing we can do now. A chimp that size could tear your son's head right off!
      Homer: But she'll leave the rest of him alone?

    • (Homer throws what he thinks is his rubber duck to the finish line, but it turns out to be a real duck.)
      Homer: Oh, a real duck? I wished too hard and he became real!

    • (Marge has affected the boys in the course of her recent bout of babysitting.)
      Rod and Todd: No!
      Ned: Gasp, the "N" word!?

    • Homer: Don't pressure me; I get enough of that from my dad.
      Marge: Well, maybe I can take your mind off of things. We can study for the S.A.T.'s; Snuggles and Tickles!

    • Bart: Why does God always need money?
      Homer: It's a lot of little stuff. God has to pay all the elves in his workshop. Plus, he's got all those planets to support. Did you see that ring he gave Saturn?

    • Lisa: I wanna go to the showbiz animal retirement home. They take in animals from the movies and tv that aren't cute anymore.
      Homer: Old showbiz animals, eh? Do you think any of the gremlins from the Gremlins movie are there?
      Lisa: Ummm…sure.
      Homer: (Running to the front door) He he he, I am going to get them so wet.

    • Ned: Hey, Marge, I don't, I don't really want a computer. Y'know, all those complete strangers Googling each other makes my flesh crawl.

    • Marge: Oooh, that's the new feMAC; the computer designed just for women. The you've-got-mail voice is Susan Sarandon.
      Computer: You've got mail, unlike the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. Get informed.

    • Nelson: But Krusty said Mr. Teeny was born in Funny Town.
      Lisa: Nelson, Funny Town doesn't exist.
      Nelson: NOOOO! I was gonna live at Cuckoo Corners!

    • Marge: Where's Bart? I haven't seen him since you came home.
      Homer: (sarcastic) Oh, you haven't seen Bart for a few hours, so you automatically assume I let something terrible happen.
      Marge: I didn't say that!
      Homer: I know what you think. When stupid Homer wasn't looking, Bart got kidnapped by a monkey.
      Marge: I could never think something that horrible!
      Homer: And now I'm using sarcasm to confess the whole thing, so later I can say that I already told you!
      Marge: Sorry I asked. (leaves table)
      Lisa: Dad, you can't keep this up for long.
      Homer: Oh, you're so right! I guess I should be more concerned with Bart's safety than covering my own butt! And maybe I'm talking like this because I can't stop! Help me, Lisa, I have serious mental problems!

    • Homer: Protect the duck! (he is hit by a sledgehammer) Protect the duck! (hit by another sledgehammer) Ohhh... produck the tect...

    • Rod: What's "gay" mean?
      Bart: Umm, it means you used to be afraid but now you're not.
      Rod: (shouting) I'm gay, Daddy! I'm gay! Mrs. Simpson made me gay!
      Marge: I believe he's saying he's okay.
      (Ned frowns at Marge)

    • Homer: My son's been ape-napped!
      Lisa: No, no, he's still kidnapped; the prefix applies to the victim!

    • (A flock of ducks swim off with Homer's rubber duck.)
      Homer: Hey! This race is for rubber-ducks, not meat-ducks!

  • Notes

    • This is the 370th episode of The Simpsons, which eclipses the 369 episodes of My Three Sons to make it the 6th longest running show of all time.

    • Blackboard Joke: None.
      Couch Gag: The family enters the living room only to find their access to the couch has been blocked by laser beams. They work their way through the laser beams and sit down. Then the beams shut off and Homer's head drops to the floor.

  • Allusions

    • Ned: Call me Ned Zeppelin, but is one of my boys abrased and contused?
      This is a reference to the Led Zeppelin song "Dazed And Confused".

    • Heather Has Two Mommies
      The title of this episode is a reference to the book Heather Has Two Mommies, written about a little girl who is raised by a lesbian couple. The book set off a firestorm of controversy when it was released in 1990 but also opened the door to discussion about non-traditional families.

    • The song Ned is singing is similiar in composition to Guns N' Roses' 'Welcome to the Jungle'.

    • The music cue played while Homer is in the millworks is the same as the music used in Warner Bros. cartoons when showing the internal workings of a large mechanical contraption. It's called "Powerhouse", and was originally composed by Raymond Scott.