The Simpsons

Season 7 Episode 20

Bart on the Road

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Mar 31, 1996 on FOX



  • Trivia

    • Bart's fake driver's licence reads:











      BIRTHDATE: 02-11-70


      SEX: M


      HT: 4' 0


      EYES: BL


      WT: 85

    • The radio station that the boys listen to in the car is 94.5 FM.

    • Music From This Episode
      "Radar Love" by Golden Earring (plays on the radio during the boys' road trip)

    • According to the DVD commentary, the map with all of the lights has the actual names of the places which have nuclear power plants in the U.S.

  • Quotes

    • (The boys drive past a station wagon with an angry man and his rowdy kids.)
      Father: (Yelling) If you kids can't keep your hands to yourselves, I'm gonna turn this car around, and there'll be no Cape Canaveral for anybody!
      (Kids go quiet. Nelson leans out of Bart's car and slaps the back of the father.)
      Father: That's it! Back to Winnipeg! (Turns the station wagon around and drives off.)

    • Homer: (to Lisa) I will send Bart the money to fly home, then I will murder him.

    • Marge: (answers phone) Hello? Oh hello, Principal Skinner… No, Bart has never been to Hong Kong. Good night (hangs up) ….(the phone rings again and Marge answers) ….Hello? Tennessee State Police? No, my son's car was not crushed in Knoxville. I don't know where to begin telling you what's wrong with that! (hangs up)(the phone rings again and Marge answers) Hello? No, Bart is not available tomorrow to deliver a human kidney to Amsterdam. (hangs up)(While this is going on Homer, has slowly dived under the covers in the bed … he snorts) Homer, are you laughing at me?

    • (Nelson grabs Milhouse's glasses)
      Milhouse: Hey! I need those to see.
      Pawnbroker: Ah, these lenses are perfect! Now I can re-bottom those antique Coke bottles. (he begins counting money) Three hundred, four hundred, five hundred, six hundred…
      Milhouse: Hey! Come back! hey!
      (crashes into the pyramid of Coke bottles)
      Pawnbroker: …five hundred, four hundred, three hundred, two hundred, one hundred, zero.

    • Homer: Your turn.
      Lisa: Hmm, truth.
      Homer: Uh, do you have a crush on anyone?
      Lisa: Dad!
      Homer: Oh, I won't tell anybody.
      Lisa: Dad, you tell everybody everything. Even Moe knew when I threw up on the dentist.

    • Lisa: Okay, time for truth or dare. You go first.
      Homer: Ehh, truth. Ask me anything.
      Lisa: Who do you love most: me, Bart, or Maggie?
      Homer: D'oh! All right, dare.

    • Martin: Bart, can we stop for ice cream?
      Bart: Yes.
      (a little later and everyone has ice cream cones)
      Milhouse: Bart, can we weigh the car at that weigh station?
      Bart: Yeah.
      (a little later)
      Milhouse: Bart, can we pick up that hitchhiker?
      Bart: I don't see why not.
      (a little later and the Hitchhiker is in the car)
      Hitchhiker: Bart, can we stop for ice cream?
      Bart: Yes.
      (a little later and everyone has ice cream cones again)
      Hitchhiker: Well, I don't think I was rehabilitated, but I guess they needed the extra bed.

    • Homer: You made it! You have any trouble getting past the security guards?
      Lisa: Security guards?

    • Milhouse: A cup holder! Bart, we've got to stop and get a cup!

    • Marge: The national grammar rodeo? I wish I were going. Oh, wait, wait I wish I was going. Is that right, Bart?
      Bart: I dunno.
      Lisa: It's not fair. I'm the best student in school, how come I never heard about this competition?
      Bart: Maybe because you are, as we say in Latin, a "dorkus malorkus."
      Lisa: That's not Latin. Mom, Bart's faking it.
      Marge: Lisa, you've had your glory. Now it's Bart's turn.

    • Bart: Gentlemen, for our road trip I have taken the liberty of preparing an airtight and utterly plausible alibi for use on our parents.
      (Milhouse at home)
      Milhouse: I have been selected to represent the school at the national grammar rodeo at the Sheraton Hotel in Canada.
      (Martin at home)
      Martin: I've been selected to represent the school at the national grammar rodeo at the Sheraton Hotel in Canada.
      (Nelson at home)
      Nelson: (leaving his house) I'm goin' away for a week. See ya!

    • Homer: Oh! This is a map of nuclear sites around the country. As a safety inspector, I'm responsible for changing most of these light bulbs.
      Lisa: Why are there so many burnt-out ones?
      Homer: 'Cause they won't hire me an assistant.

    • Marge: Lisa, you'll have a fine time at the plant with dad. You've been interested in nuclear power for years.
      Lisa: I signed numerous petitions to shut down that plant.
      Marge: Well, there you go.

    • Lisa: I still don't understand why you get to stay home and watch mom work.
      Bart: Because I've always been an advocate of women in the workplace, Lis. I can't help it if my mom's workplace contains our TV.

    • Lisa: (on the phone with Bart) You could travel for free if you were a stewardess. (hold the phone away from her ear as Bart yells at her) Well, how badly do you wanna get home? Alright, alright, what about a courier, they travel for free too... (Bart is talking) No, that's a terrier, they're dogs.

    • (on the phone)
      Homer: Hello, I'd like to speak with a Mr. Snotball, first name Ura.
      Moe: Ura Snotball?
      Homer: What! How dare you! If I find out who this is, I'll staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran!

    • Nelson: (At the Andy Williams concert.) Whahaha. Ahah! Wow! I didn't think he was gonna do "Moon River," but bam! Second encore!

    • (Milhouse plays with the radio and Nelson smacks him)
      Milhouse: Bart! Nelson hit me!
      Bart: He sure did.

    • Cletus: (about getting his driver's license) Hot damn. No more sittin' in the dirt at the drive-in.

    • Homer: Donut?
      Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
      Homer: This has purple stuff inside ... purple is a fruit.

    • Patty: Some days we don't let the line move at all. We call those, "weekdays."

    • Martin: I must have spent our last 10 dollars on this Al Gore doll!
      Al Gore Doll: You are hearing me talk.

    • Nelson: What is this place?
      Bart: Branson, Missouri. My dad says it's like Vegas… if it were run by Ned Flanders.

    • Milhouse: Twenty-five years old? You're not twenty-five years old. This ID is completely fake!
      Bart: Yes, you're right Milhouse. (takes ID back) It is a fake, which makes it a fake ID.
      Milhouse: A fake ID? Cool!

  • Notes

    • Blackboard Joke: None.
      Couch Gag: Snowball II is scared off by a bowling alley pinsetter. The Simpsons are set onto the couch like bowling pins.

  • Allusions

    • The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
      The hitchhiker that Bart and the gang pick up while on the road resembles the hitchhiker from the 1974 film, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

    • Lisa: (spinning Homer around in a chair) Houston, we have a problem! The Homer 13 is spinning out of control!
      "Houston, we have a problem" is Tom Hanks' famous line from the 1995 movie Apollo 13. It became a widely-used catchphrase that could be used to describe even the most trivial of problems.

    • Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
      The strange noises made by the machines in the cracker factory are reminiscent of the machines in the 1971 film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory based on Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

    • On The Road
      The episode's title derives from the beat novel On the Road by Jack Kerouac.

    • Nelson: I can think of at least two things wrong with that title.
      After the boys go to see Naked Lunch, Nelson makes the comment above. Naked Lunch is the title of a novel by William S. Burroughs depicting bizzare scenes of drug taking and sexual perversity. David Cronenberg made it into a film in 1991.