Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
We learn Homer was once a bully during his school years.
Groundskeeper Willie's security room door reads: "KEEP OOT"
Milhouses' medication: Repressitol
In the scene where Marge is chasing Otto, the school bus launches through the air, much like a skateboard. We can see that the bottom of the bus reads: "World Industries Flameboy." World industries is a skateboard company and Flameboy is their logo.)
When Lisa is looking at the video of her and Francine at the pool, they show Francine wearing a nose clip. When the angle changes to a side view of Lisa's face and the surveillance monitor, the nose clip is gone.
The bullies said that there were 3 Indian burn marks on Lisa's arm, but in another scene, there were 4.
When Maggie broke Homer's picture off the wall; 2 things happen:
1. Homer's picture falls off.
2. In another view it's Still there and it's a picture of Marge.
Marge: Oh, honey, we're so proud of you.
Homer: So all her bullying was just to get some attention.
Lisa: No, Dad, didn't you listen to anything I said?
Homer: Just to get some attention.
Scientist 1: My God, she's stopped in her tracks.
Scientist 2: The little girl's invented some sort of bully repellant.
Lisa: Actually, it's just ordinary salad dressing. (the crowd gasps)
Marge: So that's where that went.
Lisa: The pungent vinegar and tangy Roquefort block the smell receptors, rendering the bully harmless. (the crowd applauds)
Frink: Congratulations, Lisa. You are truly the standout at this year's science thing.
Homer: Dear God, what have I done?… Babies of Springfield, we need your help! Please -- skin your knees! Put dice up your nose! Let cats sleep on your face!
Kent: How are your baby crutch sales?
Businessman: Uh, terrible, Kent. And cartoon character Band-Aids, forget about it.
(cut to Hibbert, holding up a baby)
Hibbert: Look at this baby. Not a scratch on him, and I've got boat payments.
Lisa: Why does she only go after the smart ones?
Nelson: That's like asking the square root of a million. No one will ever know.
Lisa: Someone will -- I'm going to crack the bully code.
Lisa: Well, I'm going to need full coverage. My bully is highly aggressive. Check out these Indian burns.
(She holds out her arm, which has some red stripes on it)
Jimbo: Triple twist! Nice work!
Kearney: You sure this was done by hand?
Lisa: Yeah, she's a real purist.
Nelson: She? Sorry, we don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch.
Dolph: And sometimes we fall in love.
(The bullies sigh)
Lisa: Would you bullies be interested in some bodyguard work?
Nelson: This is so funny. We were just talking about moving into protection.
Dolph: We're offering a recess and lunch package that's very affordable.
Homer: Now do you realize how unsafe the American home is? Baby accidents occur every three minutes.
Marge: I'm the one who told you that.
Homer: Yeah, but this is me talking. Look, I already encased the telephone in concrete.
Marge: How are you supposed to dial?
Homer: Reach into these holes. I use a carrot.
Marge: Why don't you try reaching out to this new girl? See if you two have a common interest.
Lisa: Hmmm. Well, lots of people like jazz fusion. (Starts playing her sax)
Marge: Okay, that's in the "maybe" file. What if you two bond over your Malibu Stacey dolls.
Lisa: They're not dolls; they're "aspiration" figures. But it might work.
Lisa: Hey, you like Malibu Stacy too.
Francine: Oh, yeah.
Lisa: And you like the same one I like, with the grad student glamor pack, just like the one in my . . . (sees that her locker has been broken into) That's mine, isn't it?
(Francine bites off the Malibu Stacy's head)
Francine: Tastes like yours.
Saleslady: You see how quickly your baby could have been drinking this ... Similac baby formula?
Drederick Tatum: Hey, cut it out, I insist that you desist!
Nelson: Sorry! I'm so sorry! (punching him) Please don't hurt me!
Drederick Tatum: You leave me little recourse!
Lisa: Mr. Tatum, do you mind if I swab you with this damp rag.
Drederick Tatum: No, not at all, swab away. Whoa, whoa…nobody mentioned a beaker!
Lisa: Please! It's for science!
Drederick Tatum: Oh, for science? In that case, proceed.
Homer: Back in grade school I had a bully problem myself!
Homer: (singing, while punching a nerd) Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting! Those kicks were fast as lightning!
Homer: Good times!
Marge: You should have left for work an hour ago!
Homer: They said if I come in late again I'm fired. I can't take that chance!
Saleswoman: Pretend I'm a baby. (puts on a bonnet) Me like to explore! (starts crawling around the kitchen)
Homer: That's a pretty big caboose for a baby.
Marge: Homer, don't be . . . wow, it is huge.
Homer: Baby could order poison.
Marge: That's ridiculous.
Telephone: Poison delivery service. A gift-basket of free poisons is on its way.
Marge: Oh, I'm horrible mother.
Homer: Of course you are. Marge, I've finally discovered the reason God made me. To protect his tiniest, most breakable creatures. And I've got to share that gift with the world.
(Maggie shoots some nails which strike Homer)
Homer: (to Marge) Get her out of here!
(Martin hangs upside down from the bleachers as the bullies throw tomatoes at him)
Nelson: Why're you throwing tomatoes at yourself? Why're you throwing tomatoes at yourself?
Martin: Your very question is faulty.
Nelson: You're faulty!
Professer Frink: Pi is exactly 3!
(All the scienists shut up and look stunned.)
Milhouse: (Referring to the movie Speed.) Wow! It's just like Speed 2, only with a bus instead of a boat.
(After Homer kicks out the saleswoman.)
Homer: We don't need your high-priced safety junk!
(Maggie falls out the window. The saleswoman catches her and gives her to Homer.)
Lisa: (In locker) She got you too, Milhouse?
Milhouse: (Also in locker) Yeah, but it's not so bad. I'm standing on Ralph.
Ralph: (Also in locker) We're a totem pole. Hi ya, ho ya, hi ya, ho ya!
TV Announcer: And now, the Estrogen Network presents... Afternoon Yak.
Meredith Viera: Men--
Homer: That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets. But I'll just draw bunny faces on them to scare Maggie away.
Marge: She's not afraid of bunnies.
Homer: She WILL be.
Saleswoman: Your baby is dead!
Homer and Marge: Oh, no!
Saleswoman: That's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of deathtraps lurking in the average american home.
Homer: You really scared us there.
Saleswoman: I'm sorry, but the truth is, your baby, Maggie Simpson, is dead.
(Homer and Marge gasp again.)
Saleswoman: Dead tired of baby insurance agents not giving you a free estimate.
Itchy & Scratchy: Commercial
Itchy & Scratchy are promoting their new breakfast cereal: STABBY-OH'S. Itchy pours cereal down Scratchy's throat, slices his stomach open, and pours in milk. Children then begin to eat the STABBY-OH'S out of Scrathy's stomach. Itchy then lifts the lid off a platter to reveal the children's mother's head.
Blackboard Joke: I will not scare the Vice President.
Couch Gag: The family enters the couchless living room in bumper cars. Marge and Maggie bump Homer and then Bart and Lisa both hit him. Homer yells "D'oh!" as he hits the back wall.
When Marge and the school bus was racing under the bridges. This is a parody from the 1973 film American Graffiti, where 2 cars were racing under the bridge.
The kid on the bus with the headgear is wearing a T-shirt that reads, "Frankie Say Relax." This is a reference to the 1980s song "Relax" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood.
Bye, Bye Nerdy: Episode title is a parody of the title of the 60s musical and movie "Bye, Bye Birdie". The Simpsons had already made a parody of "Bye Bye Birdie"'s signature song "What's the Matter With Kids Today?" used in the 1999 episode "Wild Barts Can't Be Broken".
Homer: That's me, Safety Dad! (singing) You can dance! You can dance! Everybody look at your pants!
Homer's "Safety Dad" song is a parody of "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats.
Children in commercial: Pink daggers! Green hatchets! Yellow ice picks!
The kiddie breakfast cereal is a knock-off of Lucky Charms, complete with mini-marshmallows shaped like weapons (pink daggers, green hatchets and yellow ice picks).
Voice-Over: And now the Estrogen Network presents Afternoon Yak.
The Estrogen Network plays on words with the Oxygen Network, which is a channel directed toward women. The show Afternoon Yak parodies the ABC morning talk show The View, which is also directed toward women. The hosts Barbara Walters, Meredith Viera, Star Jones, Joy Behar, and Debbie Matenopoulous can be seen on the next shot of the show. Homer says the show would be canceled, but the show reappears again in "Jaws Wired Shut".
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