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Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others
Martin Prince, Sherri, Terri and others
Bart mispronouces Kearney's name on air (instead of saying "kur-nee", he pronounces it the way it's spelled), suggesting that he is reading from cue cards and that the news brodcast is live and open to errors.
Syndication shortens the scene where Nelson makes flatulent sounds with his armpit on camera, then switches cameras to continue making the sounds.
When Marge complains about Mojo's health, Homer says, "What do you want? His cholesterol's through the roof." The closed captioning keeps the latter, but replaces, "What do you want?" with "Give him a break, Marge".
Bart: I just think our veterans deserve a little recognition.
Lisa: That's what Veterans Day is for, Bart.
Bart: But is that really enough to honor our brave soldiers?
Lisa: They also have Memorial Day!
Bart: Oh, Lisa, maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong, the important thing is that veterans deserve a day to honor them!
Lisa: They have two!
Bart: Well, maybe they should have three. I'm Bart Simpson.
Lisa: They call her the cat lady, people say she's crazy just because she has a few-dozen cats. But can anyone who loves animals that much really be crazy?
(Lady gets out of house, sees Lisa, and starts throwing cats at her, and chasing her)
Lisa: The old Union Pacific doesn't come by here much anymore.
(Train comes past, displaying the words 'Union Pacific' on each of the 30 or so carriages, when the train fully gets past, the lady with the cats is there, still chasing her)
(A "Bart's People" segment)
Bart: Joe Banks, 82 years young has come to this pond every day for the past 17 years, to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe made a discovery...the ducks...were gone! Some say the ducks went to Canada, others say Toronto. And some people think, that Joe used to sit down there, near those ducks. But it could be, that there is just no room in this modern world, for an old man...and his ducks.
Bart: I'll show Lisa who's dumb!
(He picks up newspaper)
Bart: Supreme Court reverses...uuuhh, I won't turn to the comics, I won't turn to the comics! All right, I'll read one comic just to get me rolling. Archie: Hey, Jughead, did you hear, the Supreme Court reversed...ooohh!
Marge: Why didn't you tell me you were bringing home a filthy monkey?
Homer: This filthy monkey made the orange juice you're drinking!
Lindsay Neagle: Lisa, Bart's got something you can't learn in school...Zazz!
Lisa: What is Zazz?
Lindsay Neagle: Zing, Zork, Kapowza, call it what you want, in any language it spells Mazooma in the bank!
Lisa: Zork!? What is Zork!?
Lindsay Neagle: I didn't say Zork.
Bart: Anchorman, huh? Well, if I'm gonna be an anchorman, I'd better go bleach the crud off my teeth. I'll be in makeup.
Grampa: Ooh Son! This monkey's gonna change my life!
Homer: Mind if I take him for a ride?
Grampa: Sure, I'll just stand here.
(Homer drives off like a maniac)
Grampa: Mmmmm, I can't wait to eat that monkey!
Milhouse: Wow! Kent Brockman!
Kent Brockman: Good luck, kids! (to chef) Where the hell's my grilled cheese!?
Principal Skinner: Lisa, Channel Six is launching a childrens news program, and they've asked me to select an outstanding student to be anchor child.
Lisa (Gasps): Oh my god! Today's top story, little girl on cloud nine as dream comes true.
Principal Skinner: Lisa, I've selected you to be that child anchor.
Lisa: I know, I already jumped to that conclusion.
Principal Skinner: Alright, if you're so smart, tell me who I selected to be lunch room monitor?
Principal Skinner: Take your sash and go!
Groundskeeper Willie: Ack, me pile, it's been raped of its bonnieness.
Lisa: I'll pump them so full of sap, they'll be blowing their nose with a pancake!
Clips of Bart in an anchorman's chair taken from this episode were reused 4/2/06 during the original airing of the episode "Million Dollar Abie" to announce the upcoming film "The Simpsons Movie."
Blackboard Joke: None.
Couch Gag: The family sits on the couch and a human hand reaches in and spins the picture. When it stops, the picture of the family sitting on the couch is skewed wildly.
First Appearance: Lindsey Neagle, The Crazy Cat Lady
Wherever Springfield is, it's within range of at least two radio stations which play bagpipe music.
The Glass Menagerie
The title of the Itchy and Scratchy episode, "The Glass Moan-agerie," is a play on the title to the Tennessee Williams play, The Glass Menagerie.
The title is a spoof of Early Edition, in which Kyle Chandler played a man who got the next day's newspaper in advance and tried to avert the crises he read about.
Mojo is the first name of the main villain from The Powerpuff Girls, who is also a monkey.
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