The Simpsons

Season 5 Episode 13

Homer and Apu

2
Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Feb 10, 1994 on FOX

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  • Quotes

    • "Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart" Lyrics
      Apu: You see, whether igloo hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic dome,
      There's no structure I have been to, which I'd rather call my home.
      Grampa: Hello. (Apu takes his walking stick)Aaah!
      Apu: When I first arrived, you were all such jerks,
      But now I've come to looooooove your quirks.
      Maggie with her eyes so bright,
      Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright,
      Lisa can philosophize; Bart's adept at spinning lies,
      Homer's a delightful fella, sorry about the salmonella.
      Homer: Heh heh, that's OK.
      (Apu pulls out a chair Grampa was about to sit on and stands on it)
      Grampa: Aaah!
      Apu: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
      Now here's the tricky part.
      Oh, won't you rhyme with me?
      Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
      Marge: Their floors are Stick-E-Mart,
      Lisa: They make Dad Sick-E-Mart,
      Bart: Let's hurl a Brick-E-Mart,
      Homer: The Kwik-E-Mart is real… D'oh!
      All: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
      Apu: Not meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
      Simpsons: Forget the Kwik-E-Mart,
      Goodbye to Kwik-E-Mart,
      Who needs the Kwik-E-mart?
      Apu: Not me!
      Homer: Things wrapped up quite nicely, and much earlier than usual.
      Apu: (Apu sorrowfully singing) Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart… I dooooo.
      Homer: Hey! He lied to us through song, I hate when people do that.

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