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Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Maude Flanders, Helen Lovejoy, Miss Hoover, and others
Music from this episode: After punching the radio, Homer is singing along the song"Two tickets to Paradise" from Eddie Money
In this episode Homer's car is green instead of purple, like his old car from high school.
The shelter that Ned and Homer go to is called "Helter Shelter," the same as the title to an episode in the 14th season.
In America version of this episode, Homer wakes up from a bad dream and says that he thinks he hates Ted Koppel. In the Mexican version, he wakes up from the bad dream and says he hates Michael Jackson.
The name of the star quarterback of the Springfield Atoms is Stan Taylor (#7).
The junk in the house includes a sandwich, a bowling ball in the fridge, two pairs of underpants, and footprints on the ceiling.
The marquee outside church reads: "Loosest Bingo Cards in Town"
Otto drives the church bus.
A Last Supper painting hangs in Flanders' games room.
Flanders' license plate reads: JHN 143, referring to a passage in the Bible.
The sign at Springfield Lake reads: ''No Mercury Dumping Without A Permit'' and features Blinky, the three-eyed fish.
Flanders Boat is named ''Thanks For The Boat, Lord II''.
Underneath the main headline in the Springfield Shopper, ''Big Fat Man Has Big Fat Heart'' is a smaller headline, ''Little Thin Man Accused In Robbery''.
Homer: If everyone here were more like Ned Flanders, there'd be no need for Heaven, we would already be there.
Lisa: Dad and Ned Flanders friends? Hah! What's next? A's on Bart's report card?
(She, Marge and Bart laugh together)
Bart: (Stops laughing) Hey!
Marge: Homey, I'm very proud of you, but don't you think you're spending too much time with Ned? Your family needs you too.
Homer: Oh, of course you'd say something like that, Marge. You've hated Ned for years! In fact, you wanted to bash his head in with a pipe.
Marge: That was you!
Homer: Love, Marge. Don't hate... love.
Marge: Honey, I'm so glad you're ho--
Homer: Can't talk, seeing Flanders. Later, sex.
Homer: Ned, since you've let me spend time with your family, I want you to get to know my family. (they go to Moe's) Hey, everyone.
Homer: I'd like to introduce Ned Flanders, my best friend.
Moe: Hey, I don't want no one in here with their "evils of alcohol" rap.
Ned: Wait a second: you're the man at the hospital who reads to sick children.
Moe: (grabs Ned) If this gets out, the next words you say will be muffled by your own butt.
(Homer throws a picture into the garbage)
Marge: Homer, that's our wedding photo!
Homer: Marge, quit living in the past.
Homer: If anyone can pull it off, it's Stan "The Boy" Taylor.
Crowd: Stan, Stan, he's our boy, If he can't do it, no one… will.
Homer: Well, I guess I should pay my share.
Ned: Relax, Homer. I keep telling you, you're my guest.
Homer: Ooh, you brought me a nacho hat! Thanks, Ned (singing) Nacho, nacho man, I want to be a nacho man…
Mr. Burns: Men, there's a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.
Milhouse: (to his mom and dad) I hope they win, or Mr. Burns said he's coming back.
Marty: Oh, we have a winner! What's your name, sir?
Ned: Ned Flanders!
Homer: Oh, not Flanders, anybody but Flanders…
Ned: Well, golly, if that doesn't put the "shaz" in "shazam." Oh, listen: what's the cash value of those tickets so I can report it on my income tax?
Football Fan: Give me, er, 30,000 tickets.
Ticket Lady: That'll be $950,000 please.
Football Fan: Look, the thing about that is, I only got $10 on me. Can I pay you the rest later?
Ticket Lady: Sure.
Bart: Hey Dad, sell you these for fifty bucks…
Homer: Woo hoo! Sold. (Bart takes the money and runs off)
Marge: Those aren't tickets to the game, Homer.
Homer: What do you mean? It says right here: "Free wig with every purchase of large wig. Downtown Wig Center". Why you little …
Homer: (recieves a football) Wow! Thanks. Now I have four children You will be called "stitch face."
Kent Brockman: Just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be... The Killbot Factory.
Grampa: Let's sacrifice him to our god! Come on, we did it all the time in the thirties.
Homer: I'd like to propose a toast to the coming together of the Simpsons and the Flanders. If this were a more perfect world, we'd all be known as the Flimpsons.
Lisa: Don't worry, Bart. It seems like every week something odd happens to the Simpsons. My advice is to ride it out, make the occasional smart-alec quip, and by next week we'll be back to where we started from, ready for another wacky adventure.
Bart: Ay, caramba!
Lisa: That's the spirit.
Homer: They don't call me "Springfield Fats" just because I'm morbidly obese!
Ned: Oh, I guess it's time for me to duck again.
Homer: No! I want everyone to know that-- (yelling out window) --this is Ned Flanders, my friend!
Lenny: What'd he say?
Carl: I dunno. Something about being gay.
Lisa: What's so special about this game anyway? It's just another chapter in the pointless rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville. They built a mini-mall, so we built a bigger mini-mall. They made the world's largest pizza, so we burnt down their city hall.
Homer: Heh, heh, heh. Yeah, they swore they'd get us back by spiking our water supply. But they didn't have the guts.
Marge: (drinks the tap water) Ooooh. The walls are melting again.
Homer: Why am I such a loser? Why?
Bart: Well, your father was a loser, and his father, and his father ... it's genetic, man. D'oh!
Homer: (chuckling) I did it! Second in line, and all I had to do was miss eight days of work.
Man: With the money you would have made working, you could have bought tickets from a scalper.
Homer: In theory, yes. … Jerk.
Lenny: Hey, look! Homer's got one of those robot cars.
Carl: One of those American robot cars.
Ned: Homer, I'd love to chitty-chat, but tonight's the night I do my charity work.
Homer: Oh yeah. The judge made me do that once too. Stupid lack of public urinals.
Kent Brockman: Springfield has come down with a fever . . . Football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take two tickets and see the game Sunday morning.
TV Voiceover: Warning, tickets should not be taken internally.
Homer: See, because of me, now they have a warning.
Homer: Marge, I think I hate Ted Koppel. No, wait. I find him informative and witty.
Bart: It's okay. There's no sugar in Pixie sticks.
Marge: Homer! Are you planning to hit Ned Flanders with that pipe and steal his tickets?
Ned: (answers door) Huh? (Homer ges ready to hit him, but changes his mind)
Homer: Oh. Flanders, I decided I'd like to go to the game with you.
Ned: Well, get out the Crayolas and color me "Tickled Pink". Ooh, what's with the lead pipe, were you going to give my noggin a flogging?
Homer: Well, yeah.
(they both laugh)
Homer: Why do you mock me, O Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. (She scrapes it down with a broom.)
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but--(Eats waffle)--Mmm... sacrilicious.
Maude: Come on, Ned! Move this thing!
Ned: I can't! It's a Geo!
Blackboard Joke: I am not delightfully saucy.
Couch Gag: There are two couches and the family splits in half and sits on couches.
Texas Tower Massacre
Ned Flanders has a dream in which he is standing atop a tower, picking off random people with an assault rifle. This is obviously alluding to Charles Whitman's part in what has become known as the Texas Tower Massacre. Whitman killed fourteen and injured dozens when he went on a ninety minute shooting rampage from the Tower of the University of Texas.
Homers song, "Nacho, nacho man. I want to be a nacho man..." is a parody of the famous Village People song "Macho Man."
Terminator 2 Homer sprints after Flanders' car with the golf clubs is from the 1991 film Terminator 2.
Homer: Where's your messiah now Flanders?
A parodies of an Edward G. Robinson line from the 1956 film The Ten Commandments.
Homer listens to Bobby McFerrin's "I'm Worried, Need Money" on the radio, an obvious stab at Bobby McFerrin's only hit single, "Don't Worry, Be Happy".
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