It is impossible to explode your kidney from "holding it in" too long.
Dr. Hibbert said both of Grampa's kidneys were fine the day before the "blowout", but in "Old Money" from season 2 Grampa tells Bea Simmons that he has only one working kidney.
When Homer was parallel parking the railcar, he looked awfully out of proportion to the cars on either side of him. If you look closely you'll see that he barely comes up the to height of the boot on the closest car.
The tracks in the concrete appear before the railcar wheels rolled over it.
Maggie isn't seen with the family during the hospital scenes.
Homer didn't pay for his sailor outfit when he was "fleeing in shame".
The dialogue during the gunfight was not put into closed captioning.
Homer said he wanted to watch "Inside the Actors Studio", but it's only on cable TV, and the Simpsons haven't had cable since "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment".
The "Honeybunch" insignia wasn't on Captain McAllister's ship until Homer mentioned it.
(Bart, comments on how Homer ran out on the kidney procedure.)
Bart: Even I wouldn't do that, and I'm America's bad boy!
Bart: Try not to move, Dad. You swallowed a lot of motor oil.
Abe: Mmm, can't get a good sarsaparilla like this in Springfield. It angry's up the blood.
Bartender: You like it huh?
Abe: UP YOURS!
Homer: What if instead of donating one of my old worn out kidneys, I gave grandpa that artificial kidney I invented.
Marge: Oh Homer, that was just a beer can with a whistle glued to it.
Lisa: Besides, nothing's too good for a wonderful generous guy like you!
Homer: Well that's what I always thought but somehow…
Bart: Check it out, dad. I rented all your favorite gorilla movies! 'Gorilla Squadron,' 'Gorilla Island 6.'
Lisa: Can I fluff your pillow?
Homer: Nothing's too good for me!
Tour Guide: There's old Curly. He played the town preacher until we laid him off. But he still hangs around.
Curly: Help me please I'm sick!
Homer: But it's funny, Marge! The guy's sick!
(Curly falls into a water trough.)
Lisa: Uh, shouldn't we help him?
Bart: He knows what he's doing.
Robot 1: Hey, these cards are mine. (Flips table over, spilling the cards on the floor)
Robot 2: Now look what you've done!
Robot 1: I'm sorry; I don't know what came over me.
Robot 3: (One eye is sparking) Let's forget this whole thing happened.
Homer: What the heck is this, a tea party? Somebody kill somebody!! (The robots look at him and get out their guns, and start shooting at him.)
Marge: What is it with you and robots?
Homer: I can live at sea! The sea forgives all! Unlike those mean old mountains! I hate them so much!
Homer: You butcher, give it back!
(Grampa dances and exits the room.)
Marge: You shorted your life significantly, so someone else can have a slight extension of theirs.
Homer: Aww. Come here, give me a hug.
(The family hugs)
Homer (Touching Bart's kidney area): I have everything I need right here.
Bart: (Laughing) Dad, stop you're tickling me.
Homer: Yes, tickling...
Grampa: Don't worry about me. I'm going to a better place...Shelbyville Hospital.
Bart: Hey, mom, look what I got!
(He gives Marge a wanted poster with Homer's face on it)
Marge: (Laughs) That's cute. Did you get it from the souvenir shop?
Bart: No, that guy over there is giving them out.
(He points to police officer giving the wanted posters to tourists.)
Marge: Aren't you going to give him the Last Rites?
Reverend Lovejoy: That's Catholic, Marge. You might as well ask me to do a Voodoo dance!
Lady: So one day, I stole a loaf of bread, put it in the freezer until it was very hard...then robbed a bank with it!
Grampa: Am I dead yet?
Grampa: How 'bout now?
Marge: I'll tell you when you're dead, Grampa!
Grampa: Thank you!
(Homer starts to have second thoughts about donating his kidney.)
Homer: Oh, but I don't want them cutting up my soft supple body. Why didn't somebody tell me what I was volunteering for? This is everybody's fault but mine!
Tour Guide: Founded by prostitutes in 1849, and serviced by prostitute express riders who could bring in a fresh prostitute from St. Joe in three days, Bloodbath Gulch quickly became known as the place where a trail hand could spend a months pay in three minutes.
Marge: This is so sweet of you to take us out like this, Homie. C'mon kids, three cheers for your father. Hip hip--
Lisa: Mom, don't--
Marge: Hip hip--
Bart: We heard you the first time!
Marge: Hip hip--
Homer: Hey, I'm trying to drive here.
Bart: This ghost town is gonna be great. Now with 30 percent more gunfights.
Marge: And 40 percent more rootin' tootin!
Tour Guide: First on our tour is the whore house, then we'll visit the cat house, the brothel, the bordello, and finally the old mission.
Marge: Oh, thank heaven!
Tour Guide: Lots of prostitutes in there!
Homer: If I die during the operation, will you do one thing for me?
Marge: Oh, anything, sweetheart.
Homer: Blow up the hospital.
Marge: Well...I said I'd do it, so I guess I'll have to.
Captain McCallister: Welcome to the Ship of...Lost Souls!
Homer: The back of the ship says "Honeybunch".
Captain McCallister: Argh, I've been meaning to paint that over.
Homer: Quit harvesting me with your eyes!
Homer: It's because they're stupid. That's why everybody does everything.
Blackboard Joke: I am not a licensed hairstylist.
Couch Gag: The living room is flooded, the TV is floating on a lily pad, and another lily pad is floating where the couch should be. Maggie swims up and onto the lily pad, only she is colored green and has the body of a tadpole. Then the rest of the family, also colored green but with frog bodies, jump onto the lily pad. After they settle in and squat down on the lily pad in their normal couch lineup, Homer opens his mouth and a long, frog-like tongue whips out to turn on the TV.
Hospital Intercom: Doctor Bombay, come right away.
A quick reference to the phrase used to summon Doctor Bombay, the warlock family doctor on the television series Bewitched.
Homer: I'm the luckiest man in the world, now that Lou Gehrig is dead.
Lou Gehrig was a first basemen for the New York Yankees. During his retirement speech he stated "I consider myself to be the luckiest man on the face of the Earth." His retirement was forced due to his diagnosis with ALS, or Lou Gehrig's disease, as it would be named later.
Hospital Intercom System: Doc Martens to Podiatry. Doc Martens is a famous shoe brand. A doctor of the same name works in the Podiatry wing of the Springfield Hospital.