The Simpsons

Season 12 Episode 5

Homer vs. Dignity

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Nov 26, 2000 on FOX



  • Trivia

    • Dr. Hibbert pulls out a syringe to administer polio injections to the children. However, since 1958 the most commonly used way to give polio vaccinations is by mouth.

    • The woman who walks in on Homer in the men's room, and who sees Homer naked after the panda incident is wearing the same dress that Marge bought in the episode "Scenes From A Class Struggle in Springfield."

    • When Smithers is telling Mr. Burns about his show, Mr. Burns stops him and says "There's a NEW Mexico?". This is the same joke used by Homer in the episode "Boy Scoutz N' The Hood" (episode 5-8).

    • When Homer comes around the corner on the Santa Claus float, the sleigh has a steering wheel. When the camera angle changes to a close-up in the sleigh, the steering wheel is gone.

    • The Marching band in front of Homer as he drives the sleigh appears to be the same marching band from the asylum in the episode "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge"

    • Bart's medal was red with white stripes, in 1 scene, it's white with red stripes.

    • When Homer sings "Spanish Eyes", notice how there's no trumpet playing.

    • Maggie was not shown in the economic projection.

    • Homer's line "Marge, your posture!" during the economic projection wasn't put in closed captioning.

    • After Homer gets raped by the panda and refuses to take Burns's money, Burns says, "My monkey has evolved into a man...a poor man!" The closed captioning replaces "poor" with "foolish".

    • When Mr. Burns was throwing fish guts at the crowd, the captioning has him singing a parody of "Silver Bells" over the closing credits. The lip-sync and voice (Harry Shearer) did not sing this.

  • Quotes

    • Homer: I would like to buy a mint condition Spiderman issue number one.
      Comic Book Guy: And I would like an hour on the holodeck with Seven of Nine!

    • Costington: Why, I don't think I've ever seen such generosity. You're a modern-day Kris Kringle, sir.
      Homer: I'm just trying to dig myself out of a pit of shame.
      Costington: Say no more. I've had a bit of a shoe-sniffing problem myself. I'm still not allowed on the third floor.
      Homer: That's okay. (They hug each other)

    • Homer: What should I do with all this dirty, ill-gotten money? I'd better throw it in the garbage.
      Lisa: Well, there's lots of needy kids out there.
      Homer: I see what you're saying. I need to buy a gun!

    • Burns: Well done, monkey. That other panda gave some unexpected zazz to the festivities, eh?
      Homer: Maybe for you. How come you didn't rescue me?
      Burns: Too busy trying to keep my sides from splitting … It's happened before.

    • Milhouse: Hey, Dad, can I have some money for a panda cone?
      Kirk: Gah -- what do you do with the $68 I send your mother every month?
      Milhouse: Weekday dad wanted a DVD player.

    • Marge: Where did you get that all of money?
      Homer: I've been doing some outside projects for Mr. Burns.
      Marge: Really? Like what?
      Homer: Ah, you know, business stuff -- downsizing, solutions, the glass ceiling …
      Marge: Oh. Well, I'm proud of you. You're such a good provider. Kids, come on, thank your father for the injections.
      Bart & Lisa: (while rubbing their arms) Thank you, Dad.

    • Hibbert: (after giving Bart a shot) There, that's six years worth of inoculations.
      Homer: (hands Hibbert a roll of money) There you are, my good man. And while you're at it, throw in one of those polio shots.
      Hibbert: Ooh, yes, sir. (picks up a needle)
      Homer: Eh … anti-polio.
      (Hibbert picks up a much bigger needle)

    • (Homer is buying a limited edition Spiderman comic book)
      Comic Book Guy: Paper bag, or triple mylar?
      Homer: Eh, no thanks. I'll just eat it here.
      (rips a page out of the comic book and eats it)
      Comic Book Guy: Oh, oh, no! What are you doing? (Homer continues to eat. CBG collapses to the floor, crying.)

    • Mr. Burns: Let's keep the laughs coming, eh, Simpson? Let's say I make you my Executive in Charge of Recreation. No, no, better yet, my Prank Monkey.
      Homer: Will you keep giving me money?
      Mr. Burns: I can't have my little monkey running around in rags.
      Homer: Woohoo!

    • Mr. Burns: What is this? Some kind of force field around these vegetables.
      Homer: That's the sneeze guard. You have to lean under it to get salad and to sneeze on stuff. (He pushes Burns' head under the glass, and leans under there himself.)
      Mr. Burns: Ah, every thing's so green and alive. (Picks up some vegetable and sniffs. The greens immediately shrivel and turn brown)

    • Lindsay Neagle: Well, I see you have several mortgages, credit card debt, no savings, and you're supporting your father?
      Homer: Just give the word, and I'll cut him off.
      Lindsay Neagle: I couldn't ask you to do that.
      Homer: Consider it done.

    • Bart: I needed to get my mind on something else -- anything else. And for the first time in my life, education was the answer.
      (notices a chart of the Solar System on the wall) Mercury … Venus … Earth … Mars …
      Skinner: (off-screen) C'mon Edna, don't be tardy!
      Bart: Mercury … Venus … Earth … Mars … Jupiter … Saturn … Uranus … Neptune … Pluto.(Back to Present) So when I took the test, the answers were stuck in my brain. It was like a whole different kind of cheating!
      Marge: Well, we couldn't be prouder.

    • Bart: Well, it all started last week in Krabappel's class. I was trying to breed the hamster with the lizard to create an unholy super creature, when I saw an even worse crime against nature.
      (Skinner and Krabappel enter the room, kissing. Bart hides in the coat closet)
      Skinner: Ah, head lice inspection day. While the kids are out getting their nits picked, we can have our own private cootie call.
      Edna: Oh, you talk too much. Let's do it on Martin's desk.
      Skinner: It is usually the cleanest.

    • Marge: An "A" in astronomy! How'd you do it?
      Bart: I just buckled down and studied.
      Homer: (laughs) No, really.

    • Lindsay Neagle: Mr. Simpson, your intelligence profile indicates that you're too "stupid" to stick to a budget.
      Homer: Yes, go on.
      Lindsay Neagle: So let me put this simply. You need more money.
      Homer: How do I get it?
      Lindsay Neagle: I'm a financial "planner", not a financial "consultant"
      Homer: Sorry.
      Lindsay Neagle: Now, I'd like my fee please.
      (Homer writes a note)
      Lindsay Neagle: I know you're not a deaf mute, Mr. Simpson. We've been talking for the last 20 minutes.

    • Consultant: You haven't set aside anything for the future!
      Wiggum: Ah, you know how it is with cops. I'll get shot three days before retirement. In the business we call it retirony.
      Consultant: What if you don't get shot?
      Wiggum: What a terrible thing to say! Ah look, you made my wife cry!

    • Smithers: Sold separately,
      Sometimes I feel like I've been sold separately;
      But out of the box I find you poseable…
      Stacy: …loveable…
      Both: …just like me.

    • Lenny: Ah, my eye! My doctor said I wasn't supposed to get pudding in it.

    • Mr. Burns: Throw this at that!
      (Mr. Burns gives a pudding to Homer and points to Lenny)
      Homer: At Lenny? But he's a war hero.
      Mr. Burns: Well, let's decorate him, then.

    • Mr. Burns: (Near a vending machine) Ah! A candy shop! I'll take two pounds of Bristol's toffee
      (The vending machine does nothing.)
      Mr. Burns: You just became a powerful enemy, my friend.

    • (The Singing Sirlion closes for the night, and the Simpsons leave after working off their bill. In the car, Marge and Maggie are up front, Homer is driving, Bart and Lisa are in back.)
      Marge: When did this happen? When did we become the bottom rung of society?
      Homer: I think it was when that cold snap killed off all the hobos.
      Lisa: Dad, what happened to the backseat?
      (The camera changes angles to show Bart and Lisa standing on rails, they're all that's keeping them from running on the street.)
      Homer: I sold it. I needed gas money.
      (The car slows to a stop. The gas tank is empty.)
      Homer: ...which I spent on a novelty horn.
      (He butts his head against the horn, triggering a horn that would lead to a 'CHARGE!!!' cry at a baseball game.)

    • Homer (dressed as Santa Claus): "Ho, ho, ho! Merry..." Line?
      Bart: "Christmas".
      Homer: What? (snatches script from Bart) Let me see that.

    • Homer: Yes I may be naked and reeking of panda love, but I have to stop this before it goes too far.

    • (Homer throws pudding at Carl.)
      Mr. Burns: What are you doing man!? That's Carl!

    • Smithers: As you know, I've been writing a musical about the Malibu Stacy doll.
      Mr. Burns: A show about a doll? Why not write one about the common cat or the King of Siam?
      Smithers: Actually, we've been booked into a small theater in New Mexico and--
      Mr. Burns: Whoa, whoa, slow down maestro, there's a "New" Mexico?

    • Homer: (Wearing a diaper) I made a boom-boom!

    • Marge: Homer, we need to talk to a financial planner.
      Homer: Financial panther, eh? (he starts to imagine)
      Banker: Mr. Simpson, you're a dollar overdrawn.
      Homer: Get him, Sheba! (a panther leaps onscreen and mauls the banker) (back to reality) I'm on board.

    • Mr. Burns: You're so much more fun than Smithers. Why, he doesn't know the meaning of the word "gay."

    • Comic Book Guy: (eating Peeps) Oh, if only the real chicks went down this easy.

    • Burns: Well, it seems my monkey has evolved into a man ... A poor man!
      Homer: Awww, why'd he have to say that last part?

  • Notes

    • Blackboard Joke: I was not the sixth Beatle.
      Couch Gag: Family skateboards onto the couch, but Homer lands on his face in the floor.

  • Allusions

    • Mr. Burns: A show about a doll? Why not write one about the common cat or the King of Siam?
      Mr. Burns references Broadway shows Hello, Dolly, Cats and The King And I, respectively.

    • Comic Book Guy: And I would like an hour on the holodeck with Seven of Nine…
      Seven of Nine is a very attractive character on Star Trek: Voyager played by Jeri Ryan.

    • James Bond:
      The code that Comic Book Guy uses to open the sealed cylinder containing the Spiderman comic is "007", while Bond style music is playing in the background.

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