Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others
As Homer channel surfs you can hear him come across the "Porch Pals" episode of Itchy and Scratchy from the episode "Itchy & Scratchy & Marge."
A plant next to the couch grows to maturity, then dies as the Simpsons watch hours on end of cable.
The Flanders' doorbell plays the theme song from the 1960's claymation show Davey and Goliath.
Sign outside the church: "God, the Original Love Connection."
The broadcaster who announces during the pre-fight coverage, is the same man who announced Todd Flanders and Bart's putt-putt golf showdown in episode 2-6, "Dead Putting Society."
Bart: (about Hell) Wouldn't you eventually get used to it, like in a hot tub?
(While in Sunday School; Bart raised his hand)
Mrs. Albright: Yes, Bart?
Bart: Are there pirates in Hell?
Mrs. Albright: Yes, thousands of them.
Bart: (rubs hands) Hoo hoo, baby!
(In bed, Homer and Marge argue about the illegal cable.)
Marge: But Homer, I'm afraid that cable has become an evil presence in our home.
Homer: (Sternly) Marge, I never put my foot down about anything.
Homer: But I am severely tempted to do it over this. (Raises foot)
Marge: Oh, Homer.
Homer: Marge, I'm sorry. I think it's coming down.
Marge: No, Homer! Not--
Homer: (Sticks foot over floor) It's coming down. My foot, it's--
Homer: That's it, Marge. The cable stays. The foot has spoken. (Slams foot down)
(Bart and the family watch TV.)
Bart: Oh, cool! This is where "Jaws" eats the boat! … Man, this is where "Die Hard" jumps through the window. … (Laughs) Whoa! This is where "Wall Street" gets arrested! (Chuckles)
(Moses appears before the Israelites with the Ten Commandments.)
Moses: The Lord has handed down to us Ten Commandments by which to live. I will now read them in no particular order. "Thou shalt not make any graven images."
Hezron, Carver of Graven Images: (Throws down chisel) Oh, my God!
Moses: "Thou shalt not commit adultery."
Zohar the Adulterer: Ah, well. Looks like the party's over.
Homer the Thief: (Chuckles) Hey, Moses, keep 'em comin'.
Moses: "Thou shalt not steal."
Homer the Thief: D'oh!
(Marge inquires about Sunday school.)
Marge: So, what did you children learn about today?
Bart: Well, that's what we learned about. I sure as hell can't tell you we learned about hell unless I say "hell," can I?
Homer: Eh, The lad has a point.
Bart: Hell, yes!
Bart: (Singing) Hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell.
Marge: Bart, you're no longer in Sunday school. Don't swear!
(Mr. Burns arrives to watch the big fight.)
Mr. Burns: Oh, Simpson, good news. I brought some mun-chies. Eh, Smithers, the Cheetos.
(Apu arrives for the big fight.)
Apu: Oh, hello, Mrs. Homer! I've brought an assortment of jerkies.
(Apu hands Marge the jerkies.)
Homer: Ooh, did you swipe those from work?
Apu: Oh, certainly not. What has been implied here?
(Mr. Burns and Smithers watch security camera footage of Homer inviting the guys over for the big fight.)
Smithers: Um, he's Homer Simpson, sir. One of your drones from Sector 7-G.
Mr. Burns: Excellent. I'm so keen on seeing Watson vs. Tatum II, I'd even go to an employee's house. Oh, I can picture it now. The screen door rusting off it's filthy hinges, mangy dogs staggering about, looking vainly for a place to die.
Smithers: Permission to speak frankly, sir?
Mr. Burns: Permission granted.
Smithers: Well, you are quite wealthy--
Mr. Burns: Thank you, Smithers. Your candor is most refreshing.
Smithers: No, no, I mean, why don't you pay for the fight yourself?
Mr. Burns: Ah, Smithers, the big title fight is one of those rare occasions that I savor the sights, the sounds and (sniffs) ah, yes, the smells of men.
Smithers: You haven't lost the common touch, sir.
(Homer watches a Jerry Seinfeld type comedian on TV.)
Comedian: Don't you hate it when you go to the bathroom… and there's no toilet paper?
(Homer and the TV audience laugh.)
Homer: It's funny 'cause it's true!
(Troy McClure hosts an infomercial for a new type of candy that cleans and straightens teeth.)
Troy McClure: Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to meet the inventor, Dr. Nick Riviera.
Dr Nick: Thank you, Troy! Hi, everybody!
Audience: Hi, Dr. Nick!
(Marge and the kids come home from shopping.)
Homer: Oh, hey, hey. Family, family, come here. I have an announcement to make. The Simpsons have cable!
Bart and Lisa: (In unison) Cable!?
(The kids excitedly clamour in front of the TV.)
Homer: That's right, 68 channels. MTV for the kids, (To Marge) VH-1 for us. Sixteen hundred hours of quality programming, every day!
Marge: Homer, we've talked about cable before. Do you really think we can afford it?
Homer: (Chuckles) Nothing a month? Yeah, I think we can swing that.
Marge: Mmm. Are you sure this is legal?
Homer: Don't worry, Marge. Take a look at this.
(Homer hands Marge a pamphlet entitled, "So, You've Decided To Steal Cable.")
Marge: (Reads from pamphlet) "Myth: It's only fair to pay for quality first-run movies. Fact: Most movies shown on cable get two stars or less, and are repeated ad nauseam." Hmm. I don't know.
Homer: (Enticingly) Marge.
(Homer turns the channel.)
Woman Announcer: Hear Me Roar, the network for women.
Woman TV Host: In the next half-hour, we'll show you how to cut your first-aid bill in half by making your own band-aids.
Marge: Ooh, that's a good idea.
The blackboard gag refers to "The Bartman", a dance created by a Simpsons 1991 music video "Do the Bartman".
This episode won the Best Animated Program award at the Emmys in 1991.
First Appearance: Troy McClure, Drederick Tatum
Blackboard Joke: I will not make flatulent noises in class.
Couch Gag: The family all do a little dance in front of the couch, then they jump on.
The Top Hat Entertainment Channel features a movie called Stardust Mammeries, which is a twisted take on the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories.
On the Adult Film Channel a promo for the show Broadcast Nudes can be heard. This is a play on the title of the 1987 film Broadcast News, written and directed by Simpsons producer James L. Brooks.
North by Northwest
Homer jumping in front of the illegal cable salesman's truck to flag it down, and getting hit in the process, mirrors a scene in the 1959 film North by Northwest.
Heavyweight boxer Drederick Tatum is styled after former world heavyweight champion Mike Tyson. Tatum's manager, Lucious Sweet is a near carbon copy of Don King. Watson, Tatum's opponent, is the Simpsons' version of James "Buster" Douglas.
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