The Simpsons

Season 6 Episode 17

Homer vs. Patty and Selma

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Feb 26, 1995 on FOX



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Lisa: How's dad today?
      Marge: Not too good, Lisa. Frankly, he's under the table.

    • Homer: Oh wow, I can't believe my first passenger is comedy legend Mel Brooks. You know that movie, Young Frankenstein? Scared the hell out of me!
      Mel Brooks: Umm, thanks.

    • Carl: Quit drowning in self-pity and come get drunk with us.

    • Selma: (to Homer) We own you like Siegfried owns Roy.

    • (driving Mel Brooks to the airport)
      Homer: Hey! Let's do that 2,000 pound man thing. I'll be Carl Reiner and you be what's-his-face!

    • Homer: Time to fertilize the lawn. (grabs Patty and Selma) A couple of 500 pound bags should do it!

    • Homer: Stupid driving test at the stupid DMV where stupid Patty and stupid Selma work!

    • Homer: Chauffeur's licence, eh? Mel, buckle your borsch belt!
      Chief Wiggum: Uhh, since you're trying to make a getaway in park, I'm guessing you don't have a licence.

    • Homer: That's it! I'll make money with a chauffeur job! Good thing you turned on that TV, Lisa.
      Lisa: I didn't turn it on, I thought you turned it on..
      Homer: No. Well anyway, turn it off.
      Lisa: It is off... (X-Files music plays)

    • Ballet Instructor: You love ballet, yes, you feel the boys will laugh at you, no?
      Bart: No, I feel the girls will laugh at me. I feel the boys will beat the living snot outta me.

    • Patty: We'll take care of you.
      Selma: Yes... care. (both of them start laughing.... Homer soon joins in) Cut him a check and get him the hell outta here!

    • Man: I understand that Mr. Simpson. But according to the computer, your credit history is not good.. It says here you've been pre-declined for every major credit card. It also says you once grabbed a dog by the hind legs and pushed him around like a vacuum cleaner.
      Homer: That was in the third grade!

    • Homer: (makes a phone call) Hello, Vegas? Give me a hundred bucks on red.... D'oh! Oh okay, I'll send you a check.

    • Homer: Marge. We had a deal! Your sisters don't come here after six and I stop eating your lipstick! (scratches lipstick off his teeth)

    • Barney: (Smoking a cigar) To Homer! And to Sergeant Pepper, who is growin' out of the middle of your back!
      Moe: Uuuh.. Barn' you gotta unwrap the plastic before you smoke these…

    • Supervisor: Wait a minute! Those are yours, sir?
      Homer: (monotone) Yes. (coughs) I am in flavor country.
      Supervisor: (skeptical) Both of them?
      Homer: (hacks) It's a big country.
      Supervisor: Ladies, I apologize. And you, sir, are worse than Hitler. (she slaps him)

    • Chief Wiggum: Evening, Simpson. You've got a short in your tail light. Started blinking when you made that turn.

    • Bart: What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, the bees are trying to have sex with them -- as is my understanding.

    • (Homer is taking his drivers test)
      Patty: Did not adjust side mirror. Minus one point.
      Selma: Failed to check blind spot. Minus two points.
      Homer: You won't be happy until my family thinks I'm a loser, will you?
      Patty: You are a loser, Homer. And we're winners. You gotta learn that.
      Selma: Ooh, seat belt twisted. Minus one point.
      Homer: Nagging the driver. Minus ten points, for you!
      Patty: Grazed a cone. Minus five points.
      Homer: Being a jerk! Minus a million points!

    • Homer: (about Patty and Selma) Okay, Marge. I'll get along with them. Then I will hug some snakes. I will hug and kiss some poisonous snakes! (happily) Now that's sarcasm.

    • Mel Brooks: I hate Carl Reiner!

    • Selma: (when Homer enters the room) Is it me, or did it just get fatter in here?

    • Homer: To celebrate, I'm going to tilt my chair. (He tilts his chair) Mmm...slanty.

  • Notes

    • Blackboard Joke: I will remember to take my medication.
      Couch Gag: The family is beamed onto the couch a la Star Trek.

  • Allusions

    • Homer: You know that movie, Young Frankenstein? Scared the hell out of me!
      Young Frankenstein was a comedy directed by Mel Brooks in 1974.

    • 2000 Year Old Man
      Mel Brooks makes a reference to 2000 Year Old Man, an animated tv special (1975) he starred in along side Carl Reiner, during his ride with Homer. Brooks also states, "I hate Carl Reiner!"

    • Ballet Instructor: But so many of your heroes wear tights: Batman, for example, and...Magellan.
      Ferdinand Magellan was a Portuguese explorer whose crew was the first to sail around the earth. Batman, of course, is a legendary comic book super hero.

    • Outrageous Fortune
      The scene where Bart tries to leap the ditch bears a resemblance to a scene near the end of the 1987 movie Outrageous Fortune where Shelley Long must leap over a gorge to save herself.

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