Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Maude Flanders, Helen Lovejoy, Miss Hoover, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Signs put up in Moe's Tavern on St. Patty's Day read:
"Erin Go Braugh"
"Kiss Me, I'm Irish"
"Help Wanted, No Irish Need Apply"
(As Marge waits in her bedroom, there is a loud explosion from one of Homer's moonshine stills, and Marge sees Homer running out to the front lawn on fire, screaming as he rolls on the grass to put out the flames)
Homer: (after collecting himself) I've thought about what you said, honey, and I've decided to quit.
Narrator: Dateline: Springfield. The elusive beer baron continues to thumb his nose at the authorities. Swaggering about in a garish new hat, he seemed to say, "Look at me, Rex Banner! I have a new hat!"
Rex Banner: You're out there somewhere, Beer Baron, and I'll find you.
Homer: (Way off in the distance) No, you won't!
Rex Banner: Yes, I will.
(Bart and Homer run a bootlegging scam by rolling gutter balls at the bowling alley which then end up at Moe's, where he fills them with alcohol.)
Bart: Aww, rats, another gutter ball. Gee, Homer, you sure do suck tonight!
Homer: Yeah, suck like a fox!
Reporter: What about the beer baron?
Banner: I suspect he was just a figment of the media. The idea that someone like that could operate under my very nose is laughable. (tries to laugh, chokes and coughs instead) Well, you all know what laughter sounds like.
Rex Banner: (Grabbing Ned Flanders) Are you the Beer Baron?
Ned Flanders: Well, if you're talking about root beer, then I'm guilt-diddily-ilty as char-diddily-arged.
Rex Banner: (to other cops) He's not the Beer Baron, but he sounds drunk; take him in.
Mayor Quimby: On behalf ofthe city, I'd like to apologize and askow long will it take foryou to flood this town withbooze again?
Homer: Well, sorry. I'm not in that business anymore.
Fat Tony: Four minutes.
Mayor Quimby: You can't seriously want to ban alcohol. It tastes great, makes women appear more attractive, and makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism.
Helen Lovejoy: Oh, won't someone please think of the children?
Maude Flanders: What kind of example are we setting?
Mayor Quimby: Ladies, please. All our founding fathers, astronauts, and World Series heroes have been either drunk or on cocaine.
Marge: What happened to you, Homer? And what happened to the car?
Marge: I don't think it had broken axles before.
Homer: Before, before! You're livin' in the past Marge. Quit livin' in the past!
Moe: Yeah, all right, listen up. This is the busiest drinkin' day of the year. Where are the designated drivers?
(A few people raise their hands.)
Moe: Beat it! I got no room for cheapskates.
Mayor Quimby: You're just a bunch of low-income nobodies! Who are you to demand anything?
Aide: (Quietly) Election in November. Election in November.
Mayor Quimby: What? Again? This stupid country.
Kent Brockman: All this violence, looting, destruction of property. Is this really what we think of when we think of the Irish?
Homer: (with a barrel on his head) Look at me. I'm the prime minister of Ireland!
Homer: Alcohol is a way of life! My way of life, and I aim to keep it!
Wiggum: Sounds like you have a plan.
Homer: Maybe I do, Chief. Maybe I do.
(Bart is standing on his head and watching TV)
Homer: Come on, boy! Think of a plan.
Bart: I'm trying, Dad!
Homer: To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Rex Banner: Listen, rummy, I'm gonna say it plain and simple. Where'd you pinch the hooch? Is some blind tiger jerking suds on the side?
Barney: (Confused) Yes?
Homer: Hey Banner, how's it hanging?
Rex Banner: None of your business.
(Moe's bar is disguised as a pet shop during prohibition)
Banner: Pet shop, eh? Well, I have one thing to say about that. What kind of pet shop is filled with rambunctious yahoos and hot jazz music at 1:00 in the morning?
Moe: Er, uh ... the ... best damn pet shop in town!
Bart: Dad, knocking over gravestones is bad luck!
Homer: Really? I heard good.
Banner: Open up Curly. This is a raid.
Moe: Raid? Curly?
Banner: Are you the Beer Baron?
Comic Book Guy: Yes, but only by night. By day I'm a mild-mannered reporter for a major Metropolitan newspaper.
Banner: Don't crack wise with me, tubby!
Comic Book Guy: Tubby? Oh, yes. Tubby.
Marge: Homer, what are you doing?
Homer: Marge, I cannot tell a lie.(pauses) Goodbye.(walks away)
Homer: You're not the world's worst mother. Remember that freezer lady in Georgia?
Blackboard Joke: None.
Couch Gag: The family are in a Southwestern desert decked out in cowboy gear. They get on the couch and gallop away.
After the town official (the only one in Springfield with a New England area accent besides Mayor Quimby) finds the prohibition language in the town charter, among people's murmurs you can hear Chief Wiggum say, "Get outta here, old... clerk guy."
Those references were called the XVIII Amendment- Section I, and XXI Amendment- Section I.
This episode makes a lot of references to the 1920s and Prohibition.
Scene: Moe converts his bar into a "pet shop"
When Rex Banner comes to Moe's Tavern to investigate people breaking the prohibition law, Moe quickly transforms his bar into a pet shop. The scene is reminiscent to a scene in the movie "The Sting," where a bar is quickly disguised to fool the authorities.
Rex Banner, Lou and Eddie dine at a restaurant inspired by the "Nighthawks" painting by Edward Hopper.
Comic Book Guy: Yes, but only by night. By day I'm a mild-manner reporter for the Metropolitan newspaper.
He's obviously referring to Superman's alter-ego Clark Kent.
Rex Banner is an obvious parody of Robert Stack and his portrayal of Elliot Ness on the 1950's crime show "The Untouchables".
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