Mayor Quimby: You can't seriously want to ban alcohol. It tastes great, makes women appear more attractive, and makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism.
Helen Lovejoy: Oh, won't someone please think of the children?
Maude Flanders: What kind of example are we setting?
Mayor Quimby: Ladies, please. All our founding fathers, astronauts, and World Series heroes have been either drunk or on cocaine.