The Simpsons Season 7 Episode 24

Freakshow Manager: And now, Springfield, this is the moment that you've been waiting for, the man who embodies everything about Rock 'N' Roll, except the music. Homer Simpson!

Mr. Burns: (chuckles) And to think, Smithers, you laughed when I bought TicketMaster. "Nobody's going to pay a 100% service charge."
Smithers: Well, it's a policy that ensures a healthy mix of the rich and the ignorant, sir.

Bart: So, what's it like being famous, dad?
Homer: People know your name, but you don't know theirs. It's great.

Teen 1: Oh, here comes that cannonball guy. He's cool.
Teen 2: Are you being sarcastic, dude?
Teen 1: I don't even know anymore.

Homer: You know, my kids think you're the greatest. And thanks to your gloomy music, they've finally stopped dreaming of a future I can't possibly provide.
Corgan: Well, we try to make a difference.

Marge: So… you want to go on tour with a traveling freak show.
Homer: I don't think I have a choice, Marge.
Marge: Of course you have a choice.
Homer: How do you figure?
Marge: You don't have to join a freak show just because the opportunity came along.
Homer: You know, Marge, in some ways, you and I are very different people.

Freak Show Manager: (to Homer) Sir, I run Hullabalooza's pageant of the transmundane - the freak show, and I've been looking for a big fatso to shoot with a cannon. I'd like very much for you to be that fatso.

Bart: Dad, you cannot wear that! That's a Rastafarian hat.
Homer: Pft! Hey, I've been safariing since before you were born.
Lisa: Wearing a Jamaican hat makes a bold statement about your connection to reggae music.
Homer: Well, excuuuuuse me!
(sticks a sticker on his hat that says "Too cool for this planet")
Bart: You know what, dad? Maybe we'll go exploring on our own for a while.
(the kids run away)

(Bart and Lisa in a mosh pit)
Bart: What is that smell?
Lisa: It smells like Otto's jacket…

Cypress Hill: Before we start, we have a lost child here. If she's not claimed within the next hour, she will become property of Blockbuster Entertainment.

Lisa: Generation X may be shallow but at least they have tolerance and respect for all people.
Homer: Hey a freak show!

Bart: Dear Lord, if you keep Homer from embarrassing us today, we promise to build several churches in your honor.

Homer: Well, we'll have to organize a car pool. Hey! Every day will be like a road trip… with your dad… to school!

Peter Frampton: Do you feel ... like we do.
Jimbo: Man, that guy's guitar is talking.
Otto: Hey, my shoes are talking too.
Otto's Shoes: Don't worry, we won't hurt you, we only want to have some fun.

Tech Guy: Who is playing with the London Symphony Orchestra? Come on people, somebody ordered the London Symphony Orchestra. Possibly while high. Cypress Hill, I'm looking in your general direction.
Cypress Hill Member: Hey man, did we order a--an orchestra?
(Whispers pass around)
Cypress Hill member: Uh, oh, yeah, yeah, we think we did. Uh, do you know "Insane in the Brain"?
Orchestra Guy: Uh...we mostly know classical. But we could give it a shot.
(The orchestra play over the top of "Insane in the Brain")
Marge: This, I like.

Marge: This is so exciting. Last time I got to go backstage was when Bart ripped his pants at the Christmas play.
Bart: Mom!
Cypress Hill Member: Haw Haw!

Freak Show Manager: Gee, I don't like the sound of that.
Homer: No biggy, I'm cool.
Freak Show Manager: Homer, nothing's more important to me than the health and well-being of my freaks ... I'm sending you to a vet.

Guy: Aw man, there goes Peter Frampton's big finale. He's gonna be pissed off.
Peter: You're damn right I'm gonna be pissed off! I bought that pig at Pink Floyd's yard sale!

Lisa: It may be bleak, but this music is really getting to the crowd.
Bart: Ah, making teenagers depressed is like shooting fish in a barrel.

(In a flashback, Grampa Simpson catches Homer and Barney singing and dancing in Homer's room.)
Grampa: What the hell are you two doing?
Barney: It's called rockin' out!
Homer: You wouldn't understand, Dad. You're not "with it."
Grampa: I used to be "with it." But then they changed what "it" was. Now what I'm "with" isn't "it" and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you.
Homer: No way, man. We're gonna keep on rockin' forever.

Bart: Dad, no one cares about any of your stupid dinosaur bands. You have the worst, lamest taste in music ever.
Homer: I'm just trying to party with you guys!
Bart: Homer, first of all, it's par-tay, and second, we wouldn't par-tay with you if you were the last dad on earth!

Homer: Now when I listen to a really good song, I start nodding my head, like I'm saying 'yeeess' to every beat. Yes, yes, yes, this rocks. And then sometimes I switch it up like, No, no, no! Don't stop a-rockin'!

Homer: So...how bout those rainbow suspenders, huh?
Bart: Dad!
Homer: Pretty cool way to keep your pants up, eh?

Bart: Dad, do you wear boxers or briefs?
Homer: (looks into his pants) Nope.
Bart: What religion are you?
Homer: You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life. Uh… Christianity.