Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Goof: When Milhouse makes copies of Bart's photo, the sign on the copier says 5 cents, but the coin slots says 10 cents.
Girlie joints featured in this episode include: Florence of Arabia, Girlesque, Foxy Boxing, Mud City, and the Sapphire Lounge.
If you listen closely, you can hear a guy yell "Bless the wives!" in the background during Homer's speech at the end of the show.
Princess Kashmir also goes by the stage name April Flower, and her real name is Shawna Tifton.
Bart's piggy bank is glued and taped together from when Homer broke it in episode 1-3, "Homer's Odyssey."
Mr. Burns and Smithers both appear at the Sapphire Lounge with two women as dates.
At the restaurant, Maggie sucks on a piece of fish instead of her pacifier.
The doors to the toilets at the Rusty Barnacle are marked Buoys and Gulls.
Goof: Bart makes 6 check marks on the card he fills out at the Rusty Barnacle, but there are only 5 boxes on the card.
Goof: During the party, when Princess Kashmir's asks Homer to dance, her mouth never moves.
Sign at Moe's: Ladies Night, Unescorted Ladies Drink Free.
In this episode the Kwik-E Mart isn't laid out the same way as it is now and in later and current episodes.
Mr. Burns: What in blue blazes do you think you're doing, Simpson?!
Homer: What do you mean, sir?
Mr. Burns: I mean this! (holds up the picture)
Mr. Burns: A plant employee carrying on like an over-sexed orangutan in heat! This is a family nuclear power plant, Simpson. Our research indicates that over fifty percent of our power is used by women. (wrinkles up the picture into a ball) I will not have you offending my customers with your bawdy shenanigans!
Homer: It won't happen again, sir, I promise! Can I get outta' your sight now?
Mr. Burns: Wait a minute, Simpson! Smithers, could you please leave the room?
Smithers: Yes, sir.
Mr. Burns: (sadly) Simpson... I am, by most measures, a successful man. I have wealth and power beyond the dreams of you and your clock-punching ilk. And yet, I've led a solitary life. The fair sex remains a mystery to me. You seem to have a way with women. A certain, how should I put it?... "Animal magnétisme". (begging) Help me, Simpson. Tell me your secret.
Homer: Uh, Mr. Burns, in spite of what everybody thinks, I'm no loverboy.
Mr. Burns: (pleasantly) Simpson, I'm asking you nicely.
Homer: I don't really know, sir--
Mr. Burns: (angrily) Simpson!
Homer: (scared) Well, oh, wine 'em! Dine 'em. Bring them flowers. Write them love poetry... sir.
Mr. Burns: Of course! It's simplicity itself! I won't forget this, Simpson. (angrily) Now return to your work! And tell no one of what transpired here.
Lisa: (saw Bart trying to take a picture of his butt) Ew, gross. Mom! Bart was taking a picture of his butt!
Bart: Oh, sure, like I'm really gonna take a picture of my butt.
(In the school photo lab, all the kids gather around Bart's newly developed picture of Homer and Princess Kashmir.)
Martin: My goodness. Quite exciting.
Girl: Extremely sensual.
Boy: The subtle gray tones recall the work of Helmut Newton.
Martin: Who's the sexy lady, Bart?
Bart: Beats me. But the guy dancin' with her is my pop.
Boy: He brings to mind the later work of Diane Arbus.
(Marge and Homer hold a conversation in the bathroom.)
Marge: So, how was the office birthday party?
Homer: Oh, it was delightful. The frosting on the cake was this thick. (Uses thumb and index finger to indicate the thickness.) And Eugene Fisk--my poor sucker of an assistant--didn't know the fruit punch was spiked, and he really made an ass of himself putting the moves on the new girl in Valve Maintenance. Ha, ha, ha.
Marge: Does this girl like him?
Homer: Pffft. I have to warn you, Marge. I think the poor young thing has the hots for Yours Truly.
Homer: (Chuckles) Just keepin' you on your toes, babe.
(Marge and Homer hold a conversation in the bathroom, 6 months later.)
Homer: By the way, this Friday night I'm gonna be attending a little get together with the boys at work. Eugene Fisk is marrying some girl in Valve Maintenance.
Marge: Homer, is this some kind of stag party?
Homer: No, no, Marge. It's gonna be very classy. A tea-and-crumpets kind of thing.
Marge: Hmm. Eugene Fisk. Isn't he your assistant?
Homer: No! (Mumbles) My supervisor.
Marge: Didn't he used to be your assistant?
Homer: Hey! What is this, the Spanish Exposition?
Marge: Sorry, Homer.
(Homer pays a visit to the Kwik-E-Mart, after he has unknowingly become famous from his photo with Princess Kashmir being posted all over town.)
Homer: One glazed, and one Scratch-'N-Win, please.
Apu: You look familiar, sir. Are you on the television or something?
Homer: Sorry, buddy. You got me confused with Fred Flintstone. (Chuckles)
(Apu hands Homer his lottery ticket and he starts to scratch it off.)
Homer: Oh. Liberty Bell.
(Homer scratches some more and gasps.)
Homer: Another Liberty Bell! One more and I'm a millionaire. Come on, Liberty Bell, please, please, please, please, please, please!
(Homer scratches to reveal a plum.)
Homer: D'oh! That purple fruit thing. Where were you yesterday?
(A customer walks, recognizes Homer from his infamous and imitates Homer's dancing style.)
Customer: Hey, hey! Looking good!
Homer: What do you want, pal?
(A young customer in the Kwik-E-Mart also recognizes Homer.)
Young Customer: Hey, mister. (Imitates Homer's dancing and hums an exotic theme.) Do do do do do. Do dee do dee do.
Homer: Well, a "do dee do dee do" to you too, pint size. Jeez, you get a lot of nutcases in here.
Apu: Oh, sir, I've seen things you can't imagine.
(Marge and the kids dine at a pirate themed seafood restaurant.)
Waiter: Ahoy! I spy the children's menu.
Bart: Ahoy, this place bites.
Waiter: So, what's it going to be, me little bucko?
Bart: (Chuckles) Hmm, let's see. This evening I shall go for the…squid platter--
Bart: --with extra tentacles, please.
(The doorbell rings at the Simpson home.)
Bart: Uh-oh, it's the "fe-mailman."
Lisa: Female carrier, Bart.
(Bart answers the door.)
Bart: Lady, where's my spy camera?
Mail Lady and Bart: (In unison) Where's my spy camera?
Bart: Where's my spy camera, lady? (He continues to repeat the question.)
Mail Lady: Every day for the past six months.
Mal Lady and Bart: (In unison) Where's my spy camera? Where's my spy camera? Where's my spy camera?
(The Mail Lady shoves a package at Bart.)
Mail Lady: Here's your stupid spy camera!
Bart: Oh. Thanks, ma'am.
(After being kicked out the night before, Homer comes back home and apologizes to Marge.)
Marge: Homer, you don't even know why you're apologizing.
Homer: Yes, I do. Because I'm hungry, my clothes are smelly, and I'm tired.
(Homer is forced to spend the night at Barney's apartment, after Marge kicks him out of the house.)
Barney: If you get hungry in the middle of the night, there's an open beer in the fridge.
(Homer gazes out of Barney's window.)
Homer: (Sadly) Look, Barney. See the row of tiny lights up there? The middle one is my house. Someone must have left the porch light on.
Barney: Hey, that's rough, pal. (Dials phone) Hello, Marge. You left your damn porch light on!
Barney: Homer's not made of money, you know!
Marge: Who is this?
(Homer takes the phone away from Barney.)
Homer: Don't listen to him, Marge. He's--
Marge: Oh, it's you. Hmph. (Hangs up phone.)
Homer: (Sadly) Oh.
(Homer comes home from work and an angry Marge meets him at the front door and shoves the infamous photo in his face.)
Marge: What is the meaning of this?
Homer: (Stammers) Uh, meaningless, Marge. Don't even attempt to find meaning in it. There's nothing between me and Princess Kashmir.
Marge: Princess who?
(Bart walks by and sees Marge holding his photo.)
Bart: Hey, my photo.
Marge and Homer: (In unison) Your photo?
Homer: Why you little--
(Homer reaches to choke Bart.)
Marge: Why you big--
(Marge reaches to choke Homer.)
Marge: Bart, go to your room.
Bart: I'm outta here.
Homer: Look, Marge, honey, baby, doll, I--
Marge: Homer, I don't even want to look at you right now.
Homer: What are you saying, honey?
(Marge grunts and points to outside the front door.)
Homer: But where will I sleep?
Marge: My suggestion is for you to sleep in the filth you created!
Homer: Would a motel be okay?
(Marge grunts as she slams the front door in Homer's face.)
(At the Sapphire Lounge, from the stage Homer makes a speech to the audience.)
Homer: I have something to say to all the sons out there. To all the boys, to all the men, to all of us. It's about women, and how they are not mere objects with curves that make us crazy. No, they are our wives, they are our daughters, our sisters, our grandmas, our aunts, our nieces and nephews. Well, not our nephews. They are our mothers. And you know somethin', folks? As ridiculous as this sounds, I would rather feel the sweet breath of my beautiful wife on the back of my neck as I sleep, than stuff dollar bills into some stranger's G-string. Am I wrong? Or am I right?
(Homer and Bart search for Princess Kashmir at adult clubs, so Homer can apologize to her. The two stand in the loud lobby of a strip club as Homer calls Marge on a pay phone.)
Homer: Marge! Marge! We're gonna try one more place, the Sapphire Lounge. Bart! I said look at the floor!
(In the school photo lab, after seeing Bart's photo of Homer and Princess Kashmir, Milhouse begs for a copy.)
Milhouse: Come on, Bart. You're gonna make me a print, aren't you?
Bart: Will you swear not to let another living soul get a copy of this photo?
Bart: Cross your heart and hope to die?
Bart: Stick a needle in your eye?
Bart: Jam a dagger in your thigh?
Bart: Eat a horse manure pie?
Milhouse: (Thinks for a second) Yep!
Bart: Well, okay.
(In the bathroom, Homer steps on the scale.)
Homer: (Gasps) 239 Pounds! Oh, I'm a blimp. Why are all the good things so tasty? From now on, exercise every morning!
(6 months later, Homer steps on the scale again.)
Homer: (Spits mouthwash everywhere.) Oh, no! 239 Pounds? I'm a whale! Why was I cursed with this weakness for snack treats? Well, from now on, exercise every morning Homer.
In this episode, Lenny's voice is provided by Hank Azaria and Carl's voice is provided by Harry Shearer. For the rest of the series it would be the other way around.
First Appearance: Princess Kashmir, Carl
The entire scene in the photo lab is animated in real color, but has a red gel pasted over the scene to give it the photo-lab effect.
Barney's apartment is based around the look of the apartments many of the writers and animation staff lived in during the early years of the show.
This is the first episode where in the opening titles, we hear Bart thump when he hits the car hood, and also starts Homer's scream when Marge pulls up.
Blackboard Joke: I will not call my teacher "hot cakes."
Couch Gag: The family runs in and crams onto the couch, causing it to fall apart.
Homer: Homer: Sorry, buddy. You got me confused with Fred Flintstone.
Homer's response to Apu's remark, "You look familiar, sir. Are you on the television or something?" is among the first of countless references that would be made to TV's other long-running animated sitcom, The Flintstones.
Photographers Helmut Newton and Diane Arbus
Both photographers are mentioned by a student, while Bart develops his spy camera photos in the school photo lab. Helmut Newton was an Austrian photographer who specialized in black and white nudes. Many of his works appeared in Vogue magazine, as well as photography books and museums. Diane Arbus is a former fashion photographer whose later works "enjoyed photographing the so-called 'freaks,' transvestites and asylum patients (what Bart's unnamed classmate was referring to when he sees the picture).
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
"Close Encounters Of The Mud Kind"--the subtitle for Mud City, a strip joint in Springfield--is a play on the 1977 film, Close Encounters Of The Third Kind.
Lawrence of Arabia
The "Florence Of Arabia" strip club's name is a play on the 1962 film title, Lawrence Of Arabia.
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