Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Inserting the end of the intestines of the model into its mouth and activating the mechanical digestion, would not cause it to expand and explode since it creates a closed system in which no new matter is being introduced. At best it would just create a perpetual pump similar to—but less funny than—an electric water fountain.
This is the fourth time that they have shown a heart-shaped iris and perky music just like in the television show "Love American Style" in the episode. Only in this episode there was no perky music. The other episodes the heart was in were Treehouse of Horror: III at the end of both "Clown Without Pity" and "King Homer" and in "The Front" when Grandpa was dreaming that he was some sort of queen of the west.
Homer tells Marge that he hates Alicia Bridges' song "I Love the Night Life", even though he was dancing to it with friend John in "Homer's Phobia".
Captain McCallister: (To Apu) Thanks for delivering these copies of Jugs. They'll keep my men from resorting to homosexuality...for about ten minutes!
Bart: And thank you God for the bad things adults do, which help distract people from what I'm doing.
Homer: Hey! You with the scarf! Stop skywriting!
Skywriter: I have to deliver a message. It's the skywriters' code!
Homer: I am so sick of that damn code!
Homer: Mr. John, I'm your biggest fan. I tape-recorded all your songs off the radio.
Elton: Oh, that's very sweet. Have a Grammy. (produces one from nowhere)
Homer: Uh … (throws it in a garbage can)
Ned: Aw, gee, the man's just trying to show his wife he cares for her. How can we sabotage his labor of love?
Homer: I dunno. Gasoline, acid, I got some stuff in the trunk.
Homer: This Valentine's crap has gone too far!
Male Crowd: Yeah
Skinner: Eh, Edna won't even let me clap her erasers.
Sideshow Mel: My Barbara will no longer pleasure me with the French arts!
Moe: The gal I'm stalking had me bumped back to two hundred feet.
Barney: Aw, Moe. That's too far.
Marge: Then the bird sang "I Love the Night Life" with clever new lyrics.
Homer: I hate that song.
Marge: I do too, but it was sweet. Women really like that sort of thing, Homey.
Homer: Don't worry, honey. I've got something really special planned for Valentine's Day.
Marge: It's not that monkey card I found in the car, is it?
Homer: Wouldn't you like to know. (rolls over and looks worried) Ooh.
Manjula: Until last night, I never knew Apu could be so romantic!
Marge: I can't believe it; he covered your whole bed in wild flowers!
Manjula: Oh, I'm sure Homer has done that for you …
Marge: Hmmm, sometimes I find pickle slices in the sheets.
Marge: (reading newspaper) My darling bride Manjula,
I hereby mend my ways.
I'll shower you with Valentines,
For seven love-filled days.
Lisa: Oh, how romantic!
Homer: I used to take out ads like that when we were newlyweds.
Marge: The only ad you took out was to sell our lawnmower!
Homer: We sold it, didn't we?
Homer: (looking at valentines day card) I cherish you, my precious…. Mmmmm … nah. (gets another) To a heck of a blacksmith. Nah, I already got him one. (gets another, with monkeys on it.) You're a-peeling, let's never split! (laughs) It's funny, cause they're monkeys!
Marge: What a lovely home!
Manjula: Oh, you are too kind, Marge … I am sure you have noticed the many small imperfections that fill me with shame.
Marge: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no … if anything, your home makes me ashamed of my home.
Manjula: Let us say we both feel bad!
Homer: And then the handsome prince realized he had to go to the bathroom really bad, but the evil ogre …Barney… had left the men's room in the most wicked condition! So the prince went out back to the enchanted alley…
Lisa: That's not a fairy tale; it's something that happened to you at Moe's!
Homer: Sssh. Anyway, the prince passed out for a hundred years, until he was awakened by the kiss of a noble raccoon!
(Apu and Manjula argue in Indian)
Marge: I think we should leave.
Homer: Uh uh, no way. I don't wanna miss a word …
Marge: But you don't know what they're saying!
Homer: I'm picking it up … "sala" seems to mean "jerk," and I think "Manjula" means some kind of spaceship …
Kent Brockman: Reverend Lovejoy's research proves that every wife in Springfield is jealous of Cupid Apu, even Maude Flanders.
Homer: Oh, baby! We got him now! There's no escape from the airport!
Homer: Hmmm… what's an eltdown? (looking at his beeper, in which he is covering the letter M)
Marge: This is delicious! What's in it?
Manjula: Chick peas, lentils, and rice.
Marge: And what's in this?
Manjula: Chick peas and lentils.
Apu: Try it with rice.
Blackboard Joke: Hillbillies are people too.
Couch Gag: The family get fitted with salon-style hair-dryers that switch their trademark styles. Maggie, who has Marge's hair, falls off the couch.
When Apu tells Manjula she is one "ma-hot-mama" he makes a play on the name of spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi.
St. Valentine's Day Massacre
Apu says that his romantic Valentine's gift is being turned into a Valentine's Day Massacre. The St. Valentine's Day Massacre is the term used to refer to the events of February 14, 1929 in Chicago in which six members of George Moran's gang were executed by Jack McGurn. McGurn-a member of Al Capone's gang-planned the murders both as revenge for an earlier attempt on his life, as well as a way of eliminating Capone's enemy and competition. They were lined up against the wall of a garage and then fired upon by five members of Capone's gang, two of which were dressed as police officers. A spoof of this scene has been used in an episode of Itchy and Scratchy.
Chief Wiggum: Oh right, they've got breakfast at Tiffany's now.
Tiffany's is an upscale jewelry store, but this is actually a reference to the Audrey Hepburn movie Breakfast at Tiffany's. This was also the title of a song by Deep Blue Something; the couple in the song have nothing in common except that they both liked the film.
The company that dips Apu in chocolate and delivers him to Manjula is called "Baron Von's Munch House." Baron Von Munchausen was an 18th century German nobleman who liked to tell tall tales about his amazing adventures. The psychiatric disorder Munchausen Syndrome is named after him. It involves faking illness or other misfortune to get attention.
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