Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Maude Flanders, Helen Lovejoy, Miss Hoover, and others
A highway sign reads: "Freeway To Some Other State"
Homer buys $1,100 worth of Itchy & Scratchy Money.
Narrator: (in "Itchy & Scratchy Story") Roger Meyers' next full-length feature was the wildly-successful Pinitchio. (clip plays)
Gepetto-Scratchy: (with Italian accent) Now, you be-a good, Pinitchio, and don't-a you lie!
Pinitchio: I promise I will never hurt you! (his nose grows, its razor sharp point impaling Scratchy's eyeball)
Lisa: (in audience) I wonder if this kind of violence really does desensitize us? (Scratchy robot crashes through the screen, Bart and Lisa don't even flinch)
Bart: (nonchalantly) Wanna get a snow cone?
Marge: We better find a motel and stop for the night.
Homer: [slurred] We don't need to do that, Marge. I'm not tired, I'm not tired at all.
(A car skids off the road and collides with a power pole, exploding. The family watches from the safety of a motel window)
Bart: Whew! Glad that wasn't us.
Roger Meyers Jr: As Roger Meyers Jr, the owner of the park, I'd like to thank you for stopping the killer robots. And to show my appreciation, here are two free passes.
Homer: But there are five of us.
Roger Meyers Jr: (angry) Here are two free passes!
Homer: (takes them) That's better.
(At T.G.I. McScratchy's, Marge and Homer dance as other patrons do.)
Bandleader: Welcome to T.G.I. McScratchy's, where it's constantly New Years' Eve! Here we go again! Three, two, one! (Starts playing violin)
Everyone: Happy New Year!
(The band plays "Auld Lang Syne" as a waiter comes up to Homer and Marge.)
Marge: It must be wonderful to ring in the new year over and over and over!
Waiter: Please kill me.
(Homer and Marge are looking at an Itchy & Scratchy brochure.)
Homer: (Gasps) TV Town! Hammock Land!
Marge: Ooh, recipe related bumper cars!
Lisa: Mom, Dad, Bart's dead!
(Lisa runs into the room with Bart on a wagon and Marge and Homer both gasp.)
Bart: That's right, dead serious about going to Itchy and Scratchy Land!
Marge: When do you show the consequences? On TV that mouse pulled out that cat's lungs and played them like a bagpipe, and in the next scene the cat was breathing perfectly.
Itchy and Scratchy Spokesman: Just like in real life! (pause) Hey look over there! Yoink!!! (he disappears)
Lisa: Who are all these characters?
Bart: Well, you're probably too young to remember the short lived Itchy & Scratchy and Friends Hour. They had to come up with some friends. There's Disgruntled Goat, Uncle Ant, Klu Klux Clam . . .
Lisa: Oh yeah. They weren't very funny.
Bart: Cool! Personalized plates. Barclay... Barry... Bert... Bort!? Aw, c'mon! Bort?
Little Boy: Mommy, Mommy! Buy me a license plate!
Mother: No! Come along, Bort.
Man: Are you talking to me?
Mom: No, my son is also named Bort.
Helicopter Pilot: Welcome to Itchy and Scratchyland, where nothing can possib-lie go wrong. PossibLY go wrong. That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong.
PA Announcer #1: Mop and bucket man to the exit of the Nauseator. Mop and bucket man to the exit of the Nauseator.
PA Announcer #2: We have another jumper on the roof of TGI McScratchy's.
PA Announcer #3: We need more Bort license plates in the Gift Shop. Repeat, we are sold out of Bort license plates.
Ticket Taker at Euro Itchy & Scratchy Land: (with French accent) Hello? Itchy & Scratchy Land - open for business! Who are you to resist it, huh?! C'mon, my last paycheck bounced! My children need wine! (yells in French)
Bart: Can we go dad? Can we? Can we? Can we? Take it Lis'!
Lisa: Can we?
Homer: No no no no no no no no no. Ask your mother.
Bart and Lisa: YAY!!!!!
Marge: Everything here reminds me of the 70s. That bartender even looks like John Travolta.
John Travolta: Yeah...looks like.
Homer: Alright, we're here. Let us never speak of the shortcut again.
Marge: I have nothing to say to you.
Homer: But, Marge, I was a political prisoner.
Marge: How were you a political prisoner?
Homer: I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to draw ya a diagram?
(Bart shoots a stink bomb into a workers Itchy costume)
"Itchy": I just wanted to entertain!
Marge: Come to think of it, this was the best vacation ever. Now, let us never speak of it again.
Homer: Oh, everything's too damn expensive these days. Look at this Bible I just got. Fifteen bucks, and talk about a preachy book.
Homer: Ah, the Interstate. Fasten your seat belts, kids. We're on our way to Itchy and Scratchy Land!
(pulls up to highway … which is gridlocked)
The whole family: D'oh!
(Hans Moleman is inside a phone booth at the bird sanctuary with birds attacking him.)
Moleman: (Into phone) Hello, I need the largest seed bell you have. (Pause) No, that's too big!
PA System: Attention Marge Simpson: we've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.
The conception of this episode came about after Fox had complained that the Itchy and Scratchy cartoons were too violent and they had received letters of complaint from viewers. Because they didn't believe that, the writers wrote a whole episode of Itchy and Scratchy in response.
In this episode, they briefly allude to John Travolta being a washed up celebrity working in a bar. Twelve days after the original airing, the movie Pulp Fiction was released and jump started his career.
Blackboard Joke: I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.
Couch Gag: The family is beamed onto the couch a la Star Trek.
The Itchy & Scratchy clip entitled "Scratchtasia" is a parody of Walt Disney's 1940 film Fantasia.
The robots going haywire and attacking the tourists is similar to the 1973 film Westworld. The movie is about a futuristic theme park where the robots go wild and try to kill all the tourists.
The Itchy & Scratchy clip entitled "Pinitchio" is a spoof of the 1940 animated Disney film Pinocchio.
When the family goes on the log ride, the Itchy & Scratchy theme is being played on a banjo. This is reminiscent of the 1972 film Deliverance.
The scene at Sandy Beach, where Homer and Bart have fake dorsal fins strapped to their backs to scare the swimmers, is similar to the scene in the 1975 film Jaws where two boys do the same thing.
When it is mentioned that Itchy and Scratchy Land is the "violentest place on earth" it is an obvious reference to the Disneyland's saying "the happiest place on earth".
The scene at the end of the episode, where we see Euro Itchy & Scratchy Land deserted, is an obvious allusion to Euro Disney which opened the year before the episode aired and was resented by the people of France who boycotted the park.
Homer flashback scene, where he teases the Amish people, alludes to the 1985 film, Witness.
The helicopter ride to Itchy & Scratchyland is a reference to the helicopter ride to the 1993 film Jurassic Park. There is also a scene where Professor Frink proclaims that, "Elementary chaos theory tells us that all robots will eventually turn against their masters and run amok!" This quote recalls the frequent assertations of the chaos theorist Dr. Ian Malcolm, a character from Jurrasic Park, who predicted that a catastrophic accident in the eponymous dinasour theme park was mathematically certain.
Tavern on the Green / TGI Fridays
The dining establishments in Itchy & Scratchyland 'Tavern on the Scream' and 'TGI McScratchy' make reference to real-life restaurants 'Tavern on the Green' and 'TGI Fridays', respectively.
The 'Five Corners' landmark where the Simpsons stop is a reference to the 'Four Corners' where Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, and Utah meet.
National Lampoon's "Vacation"
The Simpsons' various adventures en route to arriving at Itchy & Scratchyland parody National Lampoon's "Vacation". Like Clark Griswold in the classic 1983 film, Homer was determined that his family would enjoy the "best vacation ever," but it turned out to be anything but thanks to countless mishaps.
The birds flying into Hans Moleman's phone booth parodies a scene from the 1963 classic Hitchcock film The Birds.
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