Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others
Homer: Well, let's get started. (He begins to run to exercise, and later he is almost kneeling for exhaustion, and sees in the mailbox, "Flanders".) Doh!
Homer: I'm going to climb this entire mountain on my own!
Sherpa 1: Then technically, shouldn't you go back down and start all over?
Homer: Shut up! You are so fired.
(The Sherpas cartwheel their way down the mountain in delight)
Homer: Come on, you lazy Sherpas, wake up! We've got a mountain to climb.
Sherpa 1: He shouldn't kick us.
Sherpa 2: His toes will fall off soon.
Sherpa 1: I foresaw your death last night.
Sherpa 2: Stop saying that!
Grandpa: I fell eight thousand feet onto a pile of jagged rocks. Of course, folks were tougher in those days. I was jitterbugging that very night. But that skunk McAllister was never seen again.
Homer: If you're trying to scare me, it won't work. I'm 100% focused on my goal. Hey, my hat has ear-flaps.
Grandpa: Son, don't go up that mountain! You'll die up there like I did!
Homer: You?… Did?
Homer: I only eat food in bar form. When you concentrate food, you unleash its awesome power, I'm told. That's why I'm compressing 5 pounds of spaghetti into one handy mouth-sized bar. (He eats the bar and swallows. He then dials the phone.)… Hospital, please.
Lisa: Dad! What have you done to your stomach?
Bart: And your chest?
Marge: And your shirt?
Nelson: (about Homer) I don't think he can get up. Let's egg him!
Rod Flanders: Do you want to play "Capture The Flag", Daddy?
Ned Flanders: Sports on a Sunday? Hmm! I'd better check with Reverend...
Reverend Lovejoy: (off-screen) Oh, just play the damn game, Ned!
Homer: If God didn't want us to eat in church, he'd have made gluttony a sin.
Marge: Hmmmm… anyway, it's time for the church picnic.
Homer: What? They had a picnic last week.
Marge: No, they didn't! You just brought a bucket of chicken to church!
Bart: Wow! McBain is really buffed up! You could grate cheese on those abs!
Homer: Yeah, but can he do this?
(Homer takes a drink from a beer can on his stomach, then crushes the can between his folds of fat and Bart shudders.)
Homer: Go ahead, try and grab some flab. No, not there. Over here.
Lisa: I got some!
Homer: Not there! Grab my foot. No, not that foot!
Homer: I'm getting light headed. Good no heavy head to carry.
Brad: Wake up Homer, those Powersauce bars are just junk! They're made of apple cores and Chinese newspapers!
Homer: Hey! Deng Xiao-Peng died!
Announcer: This Powersauce newsbreak is brought to you by Powersauce. Get sauced with Powersauce!
Bart: Dad, wait! You're not risking your life just to impress me, are you?
Homer: Well ... yeah.
Bart: Cool! Now get going, chop chop!
Brad: Yo! Yo! Rainier my man! How you doin'? I thought you'd be here pumpin' those guns!
Neil: We've come up with a killer promotion for Powersauce bars. Picture this. You...
Rainier: I love it!
Marge: Homer, stop insulting us and eat your filth ... food, I mean food!
Homer: (Sees the sign, GYM) Gyme, what's a Gyme? (enters) Oh! A Gyme!
Apu: Oh, what will it be Mr. Simpson? Your usual bucket of ice cream covered with minature pies?
Bart: Okay dad, they've got our flag guarded pretty good.
Homer: I agree, let's surrender!
Bart: No, wait! I have a plan, but I'll need your underpants!
Homer: Hmm, alright, but don't lose them! They're my only pair!
(Picking sides for "Capture the Flag.")
Milhouse: Oh! Oh! Oh! Bart! Bart! Bart! Over here! Over here!
Bart: Ummm...I'll take...Nelson.
Milhouse: Saving the best for last, huh Bart?
Bart: Yeah, that must be it.
Bart: Gentlemen, the game is capture the flag! Rod, ladies pick first!
(Ralph climbs up Mr. Burns's car and tags him through the sunroof)
Ralph: You're it!
Mr. Burns: We'll see about that. After him, Smithers!
(they drive after Ralph)
Ralph: Aaah! You're not it!
(At the church picnic)
Reverend Lovejoy: Nice to see you, Homer!
Homer: Yeah, outta my way whoever you are, you're blocking the food!
(Fat Tony's gang shoot a jar of mustard on the Police table.)
Chief Wiggum: Hah! The joke's on you, we borrowed that jar from your table, so you just shot your own mustard!
Legs: Ah nuts!
(Bart encounters Homer sleeping on the ground next to a portable toilet)
Bart: (waking Homer) Come on, Dad! We're playing "Capture The Flag"!
Homer: Sorry, son. Daddy's down for the day. Why don't you go capture me some more potato salad?
Bart: But Rod picked his dad! It's a matter of family honour.
Homer: Flanders is playing? Why didn't you say so?
(As Homer hauls himself up he knocks over the portable toilet, exposing Comic Book Guy)
Comic Book Guy: Oh! It appears I will have to find a new Fortress of Solitude.
Apu: We have some low-salt candy bars and some reduced-fat soda. And our beef jerky is now nearly rectum-free.
Homer: Marge, how could you let me let myself go like this?
Marge: Me? I'm not the one who puts butter in your coffee.
Homer: Well I've humiliated my son for the last time. I'm going to get into shape.
Marge: Whatever you say, sweetie.
Blackboard Joke: None
Couch Gag: The Simpsons sit on the couch and the camera zooms out to reveal that they're inside a snow globe. Then two hands shake the globe and Homer marvels at it with an, "Ooh!"
Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer
The Yeti that appears in Homer's delusional fantasy is modeled after The Bumble, a.k.a. the Abominable Snow Monster of the North, from Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
The Murderhorn is a play on the Matterhorn, a mountain in the Alps.
King of the Hill
The title of this episode also shares the title of another FOX animated sitcom called King of the Hill, about a propane salesman and his family and friends.
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