Homer: Well, let's get started. (He begins to run to exercise, and later he is almost kneeling for exhaustion, and sees in the mailbox, "Flanders".) Doh!
Homer: I'm going to climb this entire mountain on my own!
Sherpa 1: Then technically, shouldn't you go back down and start all over?
Homer: Shut up! You are so fired.
(The Sherpas cartwheel their way down the mountain in delight)
Homer: Come on, you lazy Sherpas, wake up! We've got a mountain to climb.
Sherpa 1: He shouldn't kick us.
Sherpa 2: His toes will fall off soon.
Sherpa 1: I foresaw your death last night.
Sherpa 2: Stop saying that!
Grandpa: I fell eight thousand feet onto a pile of jagged rocks. Of course, folks were tougher in those days. I was jitterbugging that very night. But that skunk McAllister was never seen again.
Homer: If you're trying to scare me, it won't work. I'm 100% focused on my goal. Hey, my hat has ear-flaps.
Grandpa: Son, don't go up that mountain! You'll die up there like I did!
Homer: You?… Did?
Homer: I only eat food in bar form. When you concentrate food, you unleash its awesome power, I'm told. That's why I'm compressing 5 pounds of spaghetti into one handy mouth-sized bar. (He eats the bar and swallows. He then dials the phone.)… Hospital, please.
Lisa: Dad! What have you done to your stomach?
Bart: And your chest?
Marge: And your shirt?
Nelson: (about Homer) I don't think he can get up. Let's egg him!
Rod Flanders: Do you want to play "Capture The Flag", Daddy?
Ned Flanders: Sports on a Sunday? Hmm! I'd better check with Reverend...
Reverend Lovejoy: (off-screen) Oh, just play the damn game, Ned!
Homer: If God didn't want us to eat in church, he'd have made gluttony a sin.
Marge: Hmmmm… anyway, it's time for the church picnic.
Homer: What? They had a picnic last week.
Marge: No, they didn't! You just brought a bucket of chicken to church!
Bart: Wow! McBain is really buffed up! You could grate cheese on those abs!
Homer: Yeah, but can he do this?
(Homer takes a drink from a beer can on his stomach, then crushes the can between his folds of fat and Bart shudders.)
Homer: Go ahead, try and grab some flab. No, not there. Over here.
Lisa: I got some!
Homer: Not there! Grab my foot. No, not that foot!
Homer: I'm getting light headed. Good no heavy head to carry.
Brad: Wake up Homer, those Powersauce bars are just junk! They're made of apple cores and Chinese newspapers!
Homer: Hey! Deng Xiao-Peng died!
Announcer: This Powersauce newsbreak is brought to you by Powersauce. Get sauced with Powersauce!
Bart: Dad, wait! You're not risking your life just to impress me, are you?
Homer: Well ... yeah.
Bart: Cool! Now get going, chop chop!
Brad: Yo! Yo! Rainier my man! How you doin'? I thought you'd be here pumpin' those guns!
Neil: We've come up with a killer promotion for Powersauce bars. Picture this. You...
Rainier: I love it!
Marge: Homer, stop insulting us and eat your filth ... food, I mean food!
Homer: (Sees the sign, GYM) Gyme, what's a Gyme? (enters) Oh! A Gyme!
Apu: Oh, what will it be Mr. Simpson? Your usual bucket of ice cream covered with minature pies?
Bart: Okay dad, they've got our flag guarded pretty good.
Homer: I agree, let's surrender!
Bart: No, wait! I have a plan, but I'll need your underpants!
Homer: Hmm, alright, but don't lose them! They're my only pair!
(Picking sides for "Capture the Flag.")
Milhouse: Oh! Oh! Oh! Bart! Bart! Bart! Over here! Over here!
Bart: Ummm...I'll take...Nelson.
Milhouse: Saving the best for last, huh Bart?
Bart: Yeah, that must be it.
Bart: Gentlemen, the game is capture the flag! Rod, ladies pick first!
(Ralph climbs up Mr. Burns's car and tags him through the sunroof)
Ralph: You're it!
Mr. Burns: We'll see about that. After him, Smithers!
(they drive after Ralph)
Ralph: Aaah! You're not it!
(At the church picnic)
Reverend Lovejoy: Nice to see you, Homer!
Homer: Yeah, outta my way whoever you are, you're blocking the food!
(Fat Tony's gang shoot a jar of mustard on the Police table.)
Chief Wiggum: Hah! The joke's on you, we borrowed that jar from your table, so you just shot your own mustard!
Legs: Ah nuts!
(Bart encounters Homer sleeping on the ground next to a portable toilet)
Bart: (waking Homer) Come on, Dad! We're playing "Capture The Flag"!
Homer: Sorry, son. Daddy's down for the day. Why don't you go capture me some more potato salad?
Bart: But Rod picked his dad! It's a matter of family honour.
Homer: Flanders is playing? Why didn't you say so?
(As Homer hauls himself up he knocks over the portable toilet, exposing Comic Book Guy)
Comic Book Guy: Oh! It appears I will have to find a new Fortress of Solitude.
Apu: We have some low-salt candy bars and some reduced-fat soda. And our beef jerky is now nearly rectum-free.
Homer: Marge, how could you let me let myself go like this?
Marge: Me? I'm not the one who puts butter in your coffee.
Homer: Well I've humiliated my son for the last time. I'm going to get into shape.
Marge: Whatever you say, sweetie.
Blackboard Joke: None
Couch Gag: The Simpsons sit on the couch and the camera zooms out to reveal that they're inside a snow globe. Then two hands shake the globe and Homer marvels at it with an, "Ooh!"
Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer
The Yeti that appears in Homer's delusional fantasy is modeled after The Bumble, a.k.a. the Abominable Snow Monster of the North, from Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
The Murderhorn is a play on the Matterhorn, a mountain in the Alps.
King of the Hill
The title of this episode also shares the title of another FOX animated sitcom called King of the Hill, about a propane salesman and his family and friends.
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