Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Maude Flanders, Helen Lovejoy, Miss Hoover, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others
The first time we hear Nelson talk about his obsession with huckleberries.
The perfume Alex wears is, "Calvin Klein's Pretension."
Sign seen at the Try-N-Save: "Catch Back-to-Schooliosis!"
One of the tankers at the grease recycling plant is labeled "Acne Grease Co."
A framed photo of Bleedin' Gums Murphy can be seen hanging up in Lisa's bedroom.
(at the dance, with Homer and Bart's stolen grease falling down on them as it's cut by a fan)
Ralph: This snowflake tastes like fish sticks!
(Alex meets Sherri and Terri.)
Alex: Ooh, twins. Which one of you is the evil one?
(Some goons steal Homer's grease.)
Homer: Hey, hey! You're taking our grease!
Goon #1: It's our grease now.
(He takes Homer's shovel and hits him in the head with it.)
Goon #2: We run the grease racket in this town.
(The goons start to walk away.)
Homer: Hey, that's my shovel!
Goon #1: We also run the shovel racket.
Principal Skinner: Lisa! I have to run home. I need you to keep an eye on the dance.
Lisa: Oh, I don't want to go in there with all the happy dancing couples.
Principal Skinner: Normally I wouldn't ask, but, uh, it's an emergency. Mother has a june bug cornered in the basement and she needs me to finish it off.
Homer: All right, son, we're about to embark on our most difficult mission. Let's bow our heads in prayer.
(Homer and Bart fold their hands and bow their heads.)
Homer: Dear Lord, I know You're busy, seeing as how You can watch women changing clothes and all that, but if you help us steal this grease tonight, I promise we'll donate half the profits to charity.
Bart: Dad, He's not stupid.
Homer: All right, screw it! Let's roll!
(Nelson captivates a small audience in the school playground.)
Nelson: The thing about huckleberries is, once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned.
(Principal Skinner approaches and listens.)
Nelson: Nuh, um, uh, so anyway, I kicked the guy's ass!
(Principal Skinner nods and and walks away.)
Nelson: Now, if the berries are too tart, I just dust them with confectioner's sugar.
(Audience mumbles in amazement.)
Homer: Oh, I can't believe those goons muscled me out of my grease business. I've been muscled out of everything I've ever done. Including my muscle-for-hire business.
Marge: My poor Homie. Couldn't you try some other far-out money-making scheme?
Homer: Aww, what's the point?
Marge: (Encouragingly) You could raise some emus.
Homer: Emus? Really? Ooh, that's pretty crazy. Nah, I'd only fail, just like I fail at everything.
Bart: Hey, Dad, I've been thinking. What if instead of givin' up on grease, we go for one last big score?
Homer: Wait a minute. The boy's right! I can't quit now! (Hugs Bart) Aww, you always know just what to say to cheer me up. (to Marge) Emu farm? (Laughs) You're priceless, Marge!
(Homer uses Marge's car to haul grease from the Krusty Burger.)
Bart: Mom's gonna kill you.
Homer: If she didn't want her car ruined, she should've done a better job hiding her keys.
Bart: When you want grease, go to the source. Good ol' Krusty Burger.
Homer: Oh, I'll say! Look at that red-headed kid. There must be twenty dollars worth of grease on his forehead alone.
Bart: I was thinking more of the deep-fryer.
Homer: All right, we'll try it your way.
Principal Skinner: Oh, Lisa, I was hoping I could count on you again to spearhead our annual school-wide apple pick.
Alex: Apple... pick?
Lisa: Yeah, it's great! We have pony rides, sing-a-longs, apple bobbing, apple picking, apple everything!
Principal Skinner: Ah, you forgot apple bobbing.
Lisa: No, I didn't.
Lisa: So there I am, being nice to Alex, and she takes all of my friends and ditches me!
Marge: I'm sure they didn't ditch you, honey. Maybe they went off to plan a surprise party for you.
Bart: (Laughs) Yeah! (Laughs) Good one, Mom!
Lisa: They only like her because she acts so grown up with her perfume and her cell phone and--Oh! Get this, Mom! She drinks iced tea.
Homer: Lisa, I can't imagine anyone being more likable than you. But apparently, this new girl is. So my advice would be to start copying her in every way.
Lisa: But Dad--
Homer: Uh-uh! Think, "Is that what Alex would say?"
Milhouse: Oh, Lisa! I've got an extra seat, and you've got an extra lunch. (Chuckles) Catch my drift? (Chuckles)
Principal Skinner: Milhouse! Lower those eyebrows!
(Milhouse lowers one)
Principal Skinner: And the other one!
(Milhouse lowers the other one)
Alex: Your name's Lisa? Shut up, I love that name!
Lisa: Did she just tell me to shut up?
Principal Skinner: Take it outside.
Principal Skinner: (On P.A. system) Attention please, I need a volunteer for a thankless chore.
(Lisa raises her hand.)
Principal Skinner: Shall I assume the only hand in the air is Lisa Simpson? (Pause) Thank you, Lisa.
Homer: Marge, if you don't mind, I'm a little busy right now achieving financial independence.
Marge: With cans of grease?
Homer: (Sarcastically) No! Through savings and wise investment. Of course with grease!
(Homer and Bart return some grease to the grease recycling plant.)
Homer: Okay, boy. This is where all the hard work, sacrifice and painful scaldings pay off.
Clerk: Four pounds of grease. That comes to... sixty-three cents.
Bart: Dad, all that bacon cost twenty-seven dollars.
Homer: Yeah, but your mom paid for that.
Bart: But, doesn't she get her money from you?
Homer: And I get my money from grease. What's the problem?
Lisa: Am I the only one who just wants to play hopscotch and bake cookies and watch The McLauglin Group?
(Lisa shows Alex around the school.)
Alex: Isn't that trophy case supposed to have trophies?
Lisa: Um, they were all wiped out in the big trophy fire.
(Principal Skinner walks by.)
Principal Skinner: Ah, I see the trophies are still out for cleaning. Eh, Lisa?
(Homer purchases a hot dog at the Kwik-E-Mart after Apu has cleaned out the grease trap.)
Homer: Without the grease, all you can taste is the hog anus.
Alex: Calm down, Lisa. DMY.
Lisa: What's DMY?
Alex: Don't mess yourself.
Alex: Yeah, that's why we changed it to DMY.
FOX aired this episode earlier than the rest of the season to promote the debut of That '70s Show. Thus, it aired before the official season premiere.
Blackboard Joke: None
Couch Gag: The family runs in to sit on the couch, but as they sit down the couch is suddenly pulled backward and everyone falls to the floor. Nelson stands up from behind the couch points at the family and says, "Ha, ha!"
Krusty See-n-Say Toy: S is for "Shiksa!" S-H-I... uh, I think there's a T in there somewhere... ...ah, look it up!
This is a parody of Mattel's classic "See-n-Say" toys that first came out in 1965 (and are still manufactured and sold today under Mattel's "Fisher Price" brand) known for playing an audio clip matching the picture or word the pointer is set to once the cord or lever is pulled. The Krusty See-n-Say is mainly based on the "The Bee Says" variant of the toy, involving a bee reading out similar phrases ("K is for kite") when set to the accompanying letter.
Alex: Don't be such a Phoebe!
This line, along with a few other nods reference the show Friends which guest star Lisa Kudrow also stared in as Phoebe.
Lord of the Dance
The title of this episode is a spin on the title of the stage show, Lord of the Dance.
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