Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others
During the championship game, Bart is correctly awarded a penalty shot for being tripped while on a breakaway. However, unlike in the episode, the game clock does not count down during a penalty shot; so even if Bart and Lisa had declined to face each other for the penalty shot, the entire team would have had to finish out the last four seconds of the game afterward.
The inmate number on Snake's prison uniform is 7F20. 7F20 is the production code for the episode "The War Of The Simpsons." (the episode Snake first appeared in)
Homer: (After Bart has just scored a goal off Lisa): I love Bart!
Homer: (Later in the same game after Bart tries to score a goal, but Lisa makes the save): No! I love Lisa!
Homer: (Just seconds later after Marge brings Homer a beer): Beer! Marge, I love you!
Chief Wiggum: We won! We won! Um,
unfortunately, because I bet on the other team, heh, we won't be going
Marge: (Whispering to Homer) I think Lisa needs to feel a little special tonight, how about letting her ride up front too?
(Homer looks at Bart who shakes his head no.)
Homer: (Shrugging) Hmm, I tried.
Homer: Now that we're all alone, Marge, admit it, you like Lisa best.
Homer: Oh, so you're a Bart-woman are you!
Homer: Well you can't possible like Maggie best. What has she ever done? Nothin' for nobody!
Ms. Krabappel: Ok, it's book report time. We'll do them alphabetically. Today "A" through "M."
Bart: I'm saved! I love being a SSSSimpson.
Ms. Krabappel: We'll see. We have no A's. So let's go right to the B's. Bart.
Ms. Krabappel: Ha!
Bart: Mrs. Krabappel… I didn't…
Gym Teacher: I don't need this. I inhaled my favorite whistle this morning.
Homer: Wow…eye of the tiger, mouth of a teamster! Just think of all the time I've wasted on you! (points at Bart)…Er, well, not…wasted, uh…I love you.
Marge: (Covering her eyes) I can't even watch. I don't know how you two can sit here laughing at poor Lisa while she's out there probably scared to death.
Homer: We're laughing with her, Marge. There's a big difference.
(Homer and Bart start laughing again and pointing at Lisa.)
Homer: (To Marge, quickly) With her.
Marge: Lisa, your father and I are very concerned about this warning. I really hope you try harder.
Homer: Whew! That's all of 'em… and I'm so proud you didn't try to forge my name. How about a present, son?
Bart: Well, I could use a new pair of hockey skates.
Homer: Done and done.
Lisa: That's not fair. Why is Bart getting a present and I'm getting chewed out?
Homer: Ah, the mysteries of life.
Principal Skinner: Muntz, Nelson. You're failing History, Geography, and Math, but, er, you're doing quite well in Home Ec.
Nelson: (uncomfortable) Hey, keep it down, man. Ha ha.
Principal Skinner: All right, first academic alert: Wiggum, Ralph.
Ralph: I won, I won! (walks on stage)
Principal Skinner: No no, Ralph, this means you're failing English.
Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible!
Principal Skinner: (over PA) Attention, this is Principal Skinner, your principal, with a message from the Principal's Office. All students please proceed immediately to an assembly in the Butthead Memorial Auditorium. (to himself) Dammit, I wish we hadn't let the students name that one.
Krusty: O say can you see,
By the da da da light,
What so proudly we laaaaah,
By the aaaah aaaah oh...
Shouldn't have turned down those cue cards. Oooooh...
Sherri & Terri: (singing and jumping rope) At seven tonight the games begin, Bart vs. Lisa: who will win?
Their father's fat and their mother's thin, and Grampa Simpson reeks of gin!
Grampa: Hey! (sniffs himself) That's "Obsession" for men.
Jimbo: Hahaha! Who bought you them underpants? Your mom!?!?
Bart: Of course she did! Who else would?
Jimbo: Alright Simpson, you win this round!
Kent Brockman: But first, the death count from the killer snowstorm, bearing down on us like a shotgun full of snow.
Weatherman: Well Kent, as of now, the death count is zero. But it's expected to shoot up at any moment.
Kent Brockman: Oh my God! Damn you snow! (shakes fist toward sky)
Bart: Lisa, certain difference, rivalries if you will, have come up between us. At first I thought we could talk it over like civilized people, but instead...I just ripped the head off Mr. Honeybunny!
Lisa: Bart that was your cherished childhood toy.
Bart: Aaah! Mr. Honeybunny!
Milhouse: Hey, Bart. If Lisa's better than you at hockey, you think you'll become better than her at school?
Bart: Maybe I will, Milhouse. Maybe I will.
Mrs. Krabappel: Who can tell me the capital of Spain? Bart Simpson. The square root of 36? Bart Simpson. Who freed the slaves? Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson, will you stop raising your hand? You haven't gotten one right answer all day.
Marge: Stop it, stop it, stop it! (Flicks light on and off.)
Bart: Mom, that is really annoying.
Lisa: Bart started it.
Bart: Uh uh, Lisa started it.
Marge: I don't care who started it. I don't ever want to see you two fighting like that ever again. We love you both: you're not in competition with each other. Repeat: you are not in competition with each other.
Homer: Hey! Apu just called. This Friday, Lisa's team is playing Bart's team. You're in direct competition. And don't go easy on each other just because you're brother and sister. I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love! (Flicks light on and off.) Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Uter: (Homer chases him with a wet towel) Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate!
Homer: It's your child versus mine. The winner will be showered with praise. The loser will be booed and taunted until my throat is sore.
Homer: I asked for ketchup, I'm eating salad here!
Marge: How about we play the basketball? I'm no Harvey Globetrotter, but...
(Nelson pummels Bart)
Nelson: This is for wasting teacher's valuable time!
Homer: Okay, little buddy, hop in!
(Bart steps forward)
Homer: Ah bah! I mean my little girl buddy.
Lisa: That's very nice, Dad, but it's wrong for you to reward violent, competitive behavior. However, I will sit up front with you if it's a fatherly gesture of love.
Homer: Okay, hon.
(Lisa gets into the car)
Homer: Sucker! Competitive violence! That's why you're here!
Homer: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.
Homer: (to Bart) You won, so I'm going to live up to my side of the agreement. Here's your turtle, alive and well.
Homer: Just remember to have fun out there today, and if you lose, I'll kill you!
Lisa: Milhouse, knock him down if he's in your way! Jimbo, Jimbo, go for the face! Ralph Wiggum lost his shin guard! Hack the bone! Hack the bone!
Blackboard Joke: I will not dissect things unless instructed.
Couch Gag: The family sits down, and it's a tight squeeze. They shoot up into the ceiling.
Krusty the Clown flubbing the words to the National Anthem is similar to when Robert Goulet sang the wrong words when he performed the National Anthem at the 1965 heavyweight championship between Muhammad Ali and Sonny Liston.
Pricipal Skinner: Children, the times they are a-becoming quite different.
This is a reference to the Bob Dylan song "The Times They Are A-Changing."
The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim
The teams' name is the parody of the 1994 flick and the NHL team, The Mighty Ducks.
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