Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
According to this episode, Homer weighs 239 pounds and is 36 years old.
When Bart comments that Lisa's statue in Springfield's Wax Museum doesn't really resemble her, someone answers that they used Dr. Ruth's body. The camera then flashes to the Chamber of Horrors where Dr. Ruth, Mr. T. and Ronald Reagan's heads are stuck on poles.
(Homer tires out the "Guess Your Age and Weight" booth at the school carnival.)
Booth Operator: I'd say 53 and 420 pounds.
Homer: Ha ha, you lose! 36 and 239!
Lisa: Do you remember why you entered me in that pageant?
Homer: I dunno. Was I drunk?
Lisa: Possibly. But the point is you wanted me to feel better about myself, and I do.
Homer: Will you remember this the next time I wreck your life?
Lisa: It's a deal!
Girl: (about Amber Dempsey) Eyelash implants.
Lisa: I thought those were illegal.
Girl: Not in Paraguay.
Amber: Hi, I'm Amber Dempsey, and when I grow up, I want to be a sweetie pie!
Kent: Lisa Simpson is no longer Little Miss Springfield. She was stripped of her crown in a ceremony earlier today (footage of a goat being bottle fed plays) Well, that's obviously the wrong footage. Uh, but it does seem the father of the deposed beauty queen Homer Simpson filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under 'do not write under this space' he wrote 'okay'.
Mayor Quimby: Gentlemen, we need to get Lisa Simpson out and Amber Dempsey back in. But this glorified crossing god of a police chief wont get off his big fat can.
Chief Wiggum: Is it okay if I open these potato chips?
L the losers in her wake,
I the income she will make,
T is for her tooth-filled mouth,
T is for her tooth-filled mouth...
Homer: Is that Lisa? Oooo, I gotta call heaven. There's an angel missing!
Bart: And whose your little school friend? Wait a minute... That's Mom!
Marge: I know two fellas who will get a special dinner tonight!
(Bart and Homer high five)
Bart: Dad, do you know anything else about women?
Homer: Nope, that's it.
Homer: Hey, nobody's prettier than my little girl!
Marge: Mmmmm, you're looking at her through a father's eyes.
Homer: Well if I could gouge out somebody else's eyes and shove them into my my sockets I would; but to me, she's beautiful!
Marge: That is so sweet!
Marge: Lisa, I know a song that will cheer you up. `There once was an ugly duckling...''
Lisa: So you think I'm ugly?!
Marge: Noooo. No, I meant you were one of the good-looking ducks... that makes fun of the ugly one. Mmmm.
Larson: Your daughter could be crowned Little Miss Springfield by our host, the Maitre d' of Glee, Krusty the Clown.
Krusty: I heartily endorse this event or product.
Homer: Moe, have you ever felt unattractive?
Moe: Mmmm, no.
Homer: How about you, Barney?
Barney: Not for a second! (*belch*)
Homer: You're cute as a bug's ear.
Lisa: Fathers have to say that stuff!
Homer: Dad, am I cute as a bug's ear?
Grampa: No, you're homely as a mule's butt!
Homer: There, see?
Homer: Heyyy thereeee, blimpy boy! Flying through the sky so fancy free!
Principal Skinner: But first, our second prize winner and the recipient of this handsome shoe buffer... Ned Flanders.
Homer: Oh it's no fair, we'll never have a buffer!
Marge: We have one at home, you never use it.
Homer: Well, I want that one!
Willie: Get your Haggis right here! Chopped heart and lungs boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds!
Homer: Bless those boys.
Marge: Homer, those are ice-cream men.
Homer: (Wiping away a tear) I know.
Blackboard Joke: I will not prescribe medication.
Couch Gag: Maggie gets to the couch first, while the rest of the family literally go outside the film frame.
Homer is singing "Hey there blimpie boy, flying through the sky so fancy free". Homer is parodying the song words to the 1965 folk song by The Seekers Georgie Girl.
Red Hot Riding Hood
Bart Simpson's reactions to mentioning how hot the girls in the Little Miss Springfield pageant mimics Wolfie McWolf's reactions to the beautiful title character of Red Hot Riding Hood, a 1943 MGM cartoon by Tex Avery. Most obvious is the panting, howling, and Bart banging his head with his shoe (ala the wolf banging his head with a mallet.)
One of the drawings displayed above the carnival caricaturist is of the famous 1976 Farrah Fawcett poster, one of the most popular posters of all time.
Apu's Niece: Tonight I will be playing "MacArthur Park" on the tabla. "MacArthur Park" is a song written by Jimmy Webb in the 1960s. It is a mournful ode to lost love although some people find it silly and clich�. The tabla version of it in this episode is very long.
Right after Bart says, "I'm starting to think I can win," he strikes a pose that resembles a famous pin-up of actress Betty Grable. The photograph showed her from the back, wearing high heels and a bathing suit, and looking back over her shoulder with a smile. This pin-up was a popular item for World War II servicemen to hang in their lockers.
The part where the Army privates attack the helicopter and Lisa and Bob Hope get on is reminiscent of the scene in the 1979 film Apocalypse Now where soldiers attack Playboy Bunnies getting on a helicopter during a USO show.
Krusty: Click, click!
While crowning the winner of the beauty pageant, Krusty reads through the rules and alludes to Vanessa Williams, who was crowned Miss America in the early 1980's and then stripped of her crown when she posed nude for Penthouse magazine.
Choreographer: I said "Step pause turn pause pivot step step," not "Step pause turn pause pivot step pause!"
The Bob Fosse-esque director of the beauty pageant is a parody from the film All That Jazz.
Brockman: I don't care. Call the weekend guy.
Kent Brockman storming off the set of the Channel 5 news when the wrong footage is shown parodies the time when Dan Rather suddenly got up and left in the middle of CBS Evening News.
Johnson Becomes President
Lisa's inauguration as Little Miss Springfield references Lyndon B. Johnson being sworn in upon the Nov. 22, 1963 assassination of President Kennedy.
Menthol Moose, the mascot for Laramie cigarettes, is a reference to Joe Camel, the "spokesman" for Camel Cigarettes. The cartoon character was used to entice youths to take up the habit.
Hindenburg Disaster The Barney-steered blimp flying into the KBBL radio tower, the blimp bursting into flames and Kent's exclaiming the news references the 1937 Hindenburg disaster. The German zeppelin had its leaking hydrogen gas tank ignited via a static electric spark while landing near the mooring tower in Lakehurst, N.J., bursting into flame and crash-landing, killing 36 people. To add to the reference, Kent Brockman echoes anchorman Herb Morrison's "Oh the humanity" line among the crash. Barney, however, apparently survives the Simpsons' disaster.
Lisa: Left a good job in the city...
At the pageant, Lisa sings the song "Proud Mary." Though it's obviously shown in the Tina Turner reprised version, the song was originally performed by Creedence Clearwater Revival.
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