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Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
When Lisa says there is a great view from the top of the tree, she's not kidding.
From closest to furthest you see: Shelbyville, the Gateway Arch in St. Louis, the Hollywood Sign, the Eiffel Tower, mountains that look like Mount Fuji and the Statue of Liberty (with the twin towers of the World Trade Center next to it) are all out on the horizon.
After the video of the tree auction, they call it a sequoia tree, rather than a redwood tree.
Lisa can see the large arch at St. Louis fairly close and the Hollywood sign behind it in the distance from the tree, which greatly limits the number of states Springfield is in to anything east of Missouri with a logical sight line.
(Lisa's tree falls and destroys two trucks carrying lumber)
Jesse: Nice work, tree. Now, return to me.
Dirt First Members: What?
Jesse: Oh right, I don't have superpowers...just yet.
Jesse: I loved Lisa Simpson. Loved her like a shrub.
Jesse: I'm a level five vegan. I won't eat anything that casts a shadow.
Quimby: What am I bid for the logging rights to Springfield's oldest redwood tree?
Man: $30,000 to make cages for animal experimentations.
Another Man: 50,000 for Thai menu's. Daughter on wait list at Bennington.
Tex: 100,000 simoleans to make the world's first drive-through humidor.
Quimby: Uh, sold to the rich Texan!
(This is when Jesse is in jail)
Jesse: I'm still fighting for the earth. I even got 'em to install a solar-powered electric chair.
Snake: (in the solar electric chair) Dude, we've been here all morning! Could you at least remoisten my head sponge?
Lisa (on tape): Dear Moe, if anything should ever happen to me, I want you to tear up my dad's tab and pour cocktail onions -- Dad, I can't!
Homer (on tape): Read it!
Lisa (on tape): … pour cocktail onions down your pants.
Moe: Well, I ain't never said no to a dead girl yet. (Moe pours the cocktail onions down his pants)
Homer: Have a good time at your hippie club.
Lisa: You're welcome to come, too.
Homer: No, I like to save the environment my own way. (drives in circles) Mmm ... donuts.
Bart: (singing) Lisa and Jesse sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
Lisa: Shut up!
Homer: First comes love, then comes... um... dammit, I know this!
Wiggum: Alright, cow-boy, I'll see you in moo-nicipal court. (handcuffs him)
Lou: Ha! Good one, Chief.
Wiggum: What? What'd I say?
Cow: You can't silence the truth with bean bags. (gets knocked off the roof with a barrage of bean bags and lands on a pile on the ground)
Wiggum (to Lou): That's nice work with the bag-zooka.
Lou: Gotta love what you do, Chief.
Marge: Oh, how cute! Kids, look who's on the roof! (people dressed as cows)
Homer: I knew this day would come. The cows are taking back what's theirs!
Lisa: No, I think they're protesters.
Jake: Nice day's work, kid. This is for you. (hands Bart an envelope)
Bart: (opens the envelope, which is full of hair) You're paying me in hair? Are you insane?
(Jake nods and laughs, Bart backs out)
Krusty: Five, four, three, two, one. Well, that's all the time we have. So long kids!
Announcer: Krusty the Clown is brought to you by the new Gamestation 256: It's slightly faster...to the max!
Bart: 256. (groan) And I'm stuck with this useless 252? (he drop-kicks the system into the fireplace, where it slowly melts)
Gamestation 252: Don't destroy me! I can still make you happy...to the max!
Marge: When you get a penny from a chum, don't just buy some bubble-gum.
Put it in your cap, put it in your cap.
When you find a nickel in the snow,
Don't just blow it on a picture show.
Put it in your cap, put it in your cap.
When you spy a quarter in a pie...
Marge: Bart, it's so sweet of you to take the family out to Krusty Burger.
Bart: (holding a money clip) Hey, some people in this family are do-ers (looking at Lisa) and some are don't-ers.
Lisa: (pointing her finger at Bart) Don't you call me a-- (Bart quickly hangs a menu on her fingers.) Unh!
Homer: (to Lisa) Take that, Lisa's beliefs.
(The family laughs, except for Lisa.)
(Krusty the Clown gets out of his limo and several clowns follow)
Krusty: Get back in. It's only funny with a small car.
Kent: It's Day 4 for Springfield's li'lest tree hugger. Hee-hee. Excuse me, that's littlest tree hugger. And whether you love or hate her politics, you've gotta go gawk at this crazy idiot.
Jesse: You can't silence the truth with beanbags.
Lisa: I'll write you letters... on rice paper... with a soy pencil!
Moe: Homer, uh, booze is on the house, seeing as how Lisa is, um... how do I put this... riding the midnight train to slab city.
Principal Skinner: So, Bart, our school policy is to give students in your situation...straight A's.
Bart: Get out! What's the catch?
Principal Skinner: The tragic loss of your sister.
Bart: Oh, yes. Ghastly business, that.
Homer: (reading the paper) Sheesh! Look at these refugees. How 'bout a smile?
Marge: They've undergone terrible hardships!
Homer: Well, moping won't make it better.
(Bart spins a door hanger on his finger)
Lisa: Bart, do you know how many trees died to make those menus?
Bart: I 'unno. A million?
Lisa: You're ruining the Earth!
Bart: True, but I gots to get paid. Money equals funny, sister!
Mr. Thai: You quitta! Quitta boy! Quitta boy!
Bart: I'm sorry.
Mr. Thai: Now restaurant fail. Children go to state college. Serious students powerless against drunken jockocracy. Baseball hats everywhere.
Bart: Hey, man. This job is too dangerous.
Mr. Thai: Menu boy no be coward like shrimp! Menu boy be brave like prawn!
Homer: You want money? Get a job like your old man!
Bart: Well, maybe I should.
Homer: Oh, so now you're smarter than your old man, eh?
Bart: I guess.
Homer: I like your attitude. Take what you need.
(Bart opens the wallet, but it is empty.)
Homer: Oh, no! Lisa's gone! And nothing will bring her back! (Stroking his chin) Unless...
Lisa: Dad, I'm not dead!
Homer: Oh, praise God! You're alive! (Stroking his chin again) Unless...
Lisa: (Reading letter from Bart) Dear Lisa. You rock! Mom is calling rescue agencies, dad is building a giant ladder but it is a poor quality. We miss you, Bart.
Lisa: I'm not dead - and neither is my sense of moral outrage!
Homer: This is all your fault, with your non-threatening Bobby Sherman-style good looks! No girl can resist your charm!
Jesse: This was her choice Mr. Simpson.
Homer: I'm sorry, I wasn't listening, I was lost in your eyes.
(The log crushes the hemp store as the tree-huggers look on)
Rich Texan: Yee-haw! Score one for the bad guys!
Song: This Log is Your Log
Singers: (sung to the tune of "This Land")
This log is your log, This log is my log.
When lightening struck it, it kicked the bucket.
Moe: I poured some onions inside my trousers.
Singers: This log, it used to be a tree.
Now it spreads love to you and me.
Hey, look, it's headed out to sea.
Homer: She's gonna narc on our stash.
Marge: We don't have a stash.
Homer: No ... of course not.
Blackboard Joke: I am not the acting president.
Couch Gag: Marge, Lisa, Homer and Bart enter the living room dressed as Teletubbies, Maggie applauds and laughs.
A news graphic showing Lisa has the caption "Lisa Simpson - Earth Angel." "Earth Angel" is also the title of a doo-wop song from the 1950s. It was recorded by a group called The Penguins.
Lisa's protest to save the redwood by living in it is a reference to Julia "Butterfly" Hill, who lived in a giant redwood in California from Dec. 10, 1997 to Dec. 18, 1999 to keep it from being cut down.
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