The Simpsons

Season 5 Episode 14

Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Feb 17, 1994 on FOX



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • (At the toy store)
      Lisa: I'm warning you, Mom, I may get a little crazy.
      Marge: I understand. When I was your age--
      Lisa: (attacking another girl) Hey, horseface, get your ugly paws off that summer fun set!

    • Lisa: You know, if we get through to just that one little girl, it'll all be worth it!
      Stacy Lavelle: Yes. Particularly if that little girl happens to pay $46,000 for that doll.
      Lisa: What?
      Stacy Lavelle: Oh, nothing.

    • Executive: Our one effort to put a stop to this Lisa Lionheart thing has failed miserably. Gentlemen, we have to reinvent Malibu Stacy for the nineties. We'll stay here all night if need be!
      Man: Can we order Chinese food?
      Executive: (long pause) Yes.

    • Kent Brockman's Daughter: My new doll is much better than Malibu Stacy. Do a newscast about her.
      Kent Brockman: Ho ho, please, honey, Daddy's job is to bring people important news. Right now I'm busy preparing a report about the fortieth anniversary of Beetle Bailey.
      Kent Brockman's Daughter: Oh, Daddy, that is boring. Talk about the dolly!
      Kent Brockman: Well, you were right about the Berlin Wall.

    • Lisa: Make sure you get my mom's hair just right!
      Stacy Lavelle: Um, I think we'll use someone different for the hair.
      Lisa: How about me?
      Stacy Lavelle: Um, there's something not quite…
      Bart: How about me?
      Stacy Lavelle: Uh…
      Homer: How about me?
      Stacy Lavelle: (yelling)You all have hideous hair!
      (the family gasps) I mean, from a design point of view.

    • Lisa: Well I'm not going to accomplish anything just sitting here--
      Grampa: And griping. It's time for--
      Lisa: Action! I've got to talk to that woman who invented Malibu Stacy and see if I can get her to--
      Grampa: Come out of retirement. I'm gonna get me a job...a real Malibu...and see if Stacy...can!
      Lisa: You're getting a job.
      Grampa: Yes! I'm going where the action is.

    • Tour Guide: Welcome to "Enchantment Lane" where all the parts come together and Malibu Stacy is born. Some folks say there's a little touch of fairy dust in the air.
      (Scene changes to tough looking man assembling dolls)
      Man: Aw, crap. There's a clog in the torso chute!!! Leroy! Get your ass in gear.

    • Lisa: They cannot keep making dolls like this...something has to be done!
      Marge: Lisa, ordinarily I'd say you should stand up for what you believe in. But you've been doing that an awful lot lately!
      Bart: Yeah. You made us march in that gay rights parade!
      Homer: And we can't watch FOX because they own those chemical weapon plants in Syria.

    • Lisa: Thanks for buying us these toys, Grampa.
      Grampa: Ehh, why didn't you get something useful, like storm windows, or a nice pipe organ? I'm thirsty! Ew, what smells like mustard? There sure a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood. Oh! Look at that one.
      (Homer parks the car in the driveway; everyone jumps out except Grampa.) Grampa: Ow, my glaucoma just got worse. The president is a Demmycrat. (Everyone rushes into the house) Hello? I can't unbuckle my seat belt. Hello? (Honks horn repeatedly)

    • Girl #1: Look! Achy Breaky Stacy for a dollar ninety-nine!
      Girl #2: Live from the Improv Stacy's only eighty-nine cents!
      Girl #1 / #2: Ewwwww!

    • Grampa: Anyway, about my washtub...I just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as a "walking bird". We'd always have walking bird on Thanksgiving with all the trimmings: cranberries, Injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called "baseball."

    • Grampa: I leave these: a box of mint-condition 1918 liberty-head silver dollars. You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in Zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J. D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run out of the house with a big washtub and--Where are you going?
      Homer: Dad, we'd love to stay here and listen to your amusing antidote, but we have to take these coins to the mall and spend 'em!

    • Grampa: And to my son Homer--
      Homer: Woo-hoo!
      Grampa: --and his entire family--
      Homer: D'oh!

    • Jasper: What's eatin' you, Abe? For three weeks all you've been talking about is meeting Matlock. Now you've met him, swiped his pills… (reads label) "Take one every hour to prevent spastic heart convulsions" (An ambulance drives by with its siren blaring inside a doctor yells out "Clear!") but you ain't said a word.

    • Stacy Lavelle: We'll call her Lisa Lionheart.
      Bart: No, Loudmouth Lisa! Stupid Lisa Garbage Face! I can't take this anymore! Somebody pay attention to me! Look at me!

    • Grampa: I shouldn't be listening to complaints, I should be making them with you guys! The good Lord lets us grow old for a reason; to gain the wisdom to find fault with everything He's made.

    • Lisa: This is great. They're really going to sell our doll!
      Stacy Lavelle: Well, it wasn't difficult. I just told them who I was, and who you were, and they couldn't resist.
      Lisa: Really?
      Stacy Lavelle: Well, I didn't tell them who you were.

    • Lisa: I'd be mortified if someone ever made a lousy product with the Simpson name on it.

    • Mr. Peterson: We need some more secret sauce. Put this mayonnaise in the sun.

    • Lisa: Change what she says. It's your company.
      Stacy Lavelle: Not since I was forced out in 1974. They said my way of thinking just wasn't cost effective.
      Lisa: That's awful.
      Stacy Lavelle: Well, that, and I was funneling profits to the Viet Cong.

    • Lisa: It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you.
      Grampa: It's rotten being old. No one listens to you.
      Homer: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are!

    • Lisa: Mom! We could go on the factory tour and I could complain in person!
      Marge: Honey, you're not going to throw red paint at the executives, are you? The Keebler people were very upset.

    • Grampa: Why are you people avoiding me? Does my withered face remind you of the grim specter of Death?
      Homer: Yes, but there's more. Dad, I love you,'re a weird, sore-headed old crank and nobody likes you!

    • Lisa: It's not funny, Bart. Millions of girls will grow up thinking that this is the right way to act; that they can never be more than vacuous ninnies whose only goal is to look pretty, land a rich husband, and spend all day on the phone with their equally vacuous friends talking about how damn terrific it is to look pretty and have a rich husband!
      Bart: Just what I was going to say.

    • Grampa: Looking at that tired old freak has made me realize I'm no spring chicken myself. I can feel death's clammy hand on my shoulder. Wait, that's my hand.

    • Lisa: Don't any of you notice something wrong with what Malibu Stacy says?
      Girl: There's something wrong with what my Malibu Stacy says... (pulls string)
      Malibu Stacy Doll: My spidey-sense is tingling - anyone call for a web slinger?

    • Malibu Stacy Doll: Don't ask me! I'm just a girl! Hee hee hee! Hee hee hee!

    • Marge: Now let's talk this over a nice big bowl of strawberry ice cream.
      (Lisa pulls the doll's string)
      Malibu Stacy Doll: Now let's talk this over with a nice big bowl of strawberry ice cream!
      Marge: Hmmmm....

    • (Smithers turns on his computer, a computerized Mr. Burns comes onto the screen)
      Mr. Burns: Hello...Smithers. You're quite turning me on

    • Grampa: Do we sell... French... fries?

    • Dr. Hibbert: Without further ado, I give you the man who puts young people behind bars, where they belong, TV's 'Matlock'.

    • Kent Brockman: Good night. Oh, and the President was arrested for murder. More on that tomorrow night. Or you could turn to another channel … oh, do not turn to another channel.

    • Grampa: Mr. Peterson, you can take this job and...fill it! And one more thing...I never once washed my hands. That's your policy, not mine.

  • Notes

    • Blackboard Joke: None.
      Couch Gag: The family gets crushed by a foot a la the opening to Monty Python's Flying Circus.

  • Allusions

    • Bye Bye Birdie
      The "We Love You, Matlock" song parodies the "We Love You, Conrad" song from the 1963 film Bye Bye Birdie.

    • Pepsi
      The Buzz Cola commercial is reminiscent of an ad for Pepsi.

    • Billy Ray Cyrus
      The "Achy Breaky Stacy" doll that is on sale is a reference to the song "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus.

    • Ruth Handler / Barbie
      Stacy Lovelle, creater of Malibu Stacy, is a spoof of the late Ruth Handler, who was famous for the creation of the popular Barbie dolls in the 1950s.

    • Kent Brockman: I'm doing a report about the 40th anniversary of Beetle Bailey.
      Beetle Bailey is a long-running comic strip about the antics of soldiers at Camp Swampy.

    • Big
      The two scenes where Homer is on the giant keyboard are taken from the famous scene in the 1988 movie Big where Josh as an adult (Tom Hanks) and the FAO Schwarz manager dance on a walk-on keyboard. Big was also produced by ,The Simpsons producer, James L. Brooks.