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Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Maude Flanders, Helen Lovejoy, Miss Hoover, and others
Phantom Planet sings The O.C. theme song "California" when Lisa, Bart and Millhouse are watching The O.C.
Milhouse: Do you like the dummy, Bart? I even made it smell like you.
Bart: This is awesome! Black God rules!
Marge: Something's wrong with Maggie. We should get her to Dr. Hibbert. But I don't see him anywhere.
Rev. Lovejoy: The Hibberts now attend the more "boisterous" house of worship.
Bart: I'll give you guys a kagillion dollars if you get back together.
Homer: Make it two kagillion.
Kirk: (to Milhouse) And son, I wanna make one thing clear; unlike the breakup, this is not your fault.
Milhouse: I don't wanna live in a world without Bart! (Jumps into river)
Marge: Can he swim?
Bart: What do you think?
Marge: So I got your note saying you wanted to meet here to apologize.
Homer: Well I got your note saying you were gonna bring me a bucket of potato salad.
Marge: Where's my apology?
Homer: Where's my bucket?
Bart: Does this mean you and Dad might get a D A V U R S?
Marge: Young man you go work on your spelling. Or I'll delete all the custom ring tones from your cellphone.
Lisa: I can read you like a book!
Bart: Haha, you read books!
Homer: Well I'd better go.
Lisa: Where are you staying?
Homer: You know the four seasons? Well, I'm experiencing them first hand because I'm living in the park.
Bart: We tried to break up your parents and we broke up mine.
Milhouse: Wanna call my therapist and tell her how you feel? (Calls up) Hello Dr. Wexler?
Doctor: Stop calling me! I'm on my honeymoon! (to husband) Yeah, it's that weird kid again.
Homer: This is Marge's bra! I bought it for her boobs!
Luanne: Marge is having an affair with Kirk!
Homer: That's ridiculous. No woman would want to have sex with that loser. Oh and uh, congratulations on snagging him back. Good stuff.
Milhouse: I am drunk! I'll prove it. Watch me... kiss this picture of Nana! (Trying to kiss the picture) Oh, I can't do it! She's so mean to me! She wouldn't let me eat Fruit Loops!
Homer: (On the phone) No I'm not coming into work. I have chicken pox. I know I said that last month but I was lying, geez. Right, right... right... right. Right! Okay, right! I love you, bye. (Hangs up) I just got fired.
Milhouse: Sweet Lizzie McGuire!
Luanne: Kirk you look good. Have you been working out?
Kirk: Well dogs have been chasing me!
Chief Wiggum: I can even touch my gun to my nose. Don't worry I'm the peef of cholice. I mean, the beef with no cheese. Why doesn't Lou like me!? Why!?
Ralph: I feel like a chicken already. I just made an egg in my pants!
Ned: You'd have to be awfully money grubbing to charge your friends and neighbors.
Homer: 15 dollars to infect your kids! Now featuring the pox box! Pox box not recommended for pregnant or nursing women, As with any disease box results may vary. Pox box!
Homer: Can't even go in my own kitchen. Bart's in there right now eating frosting off my egg beaters.
Bart: Don't worry dad, I'm saving one for you. I'll just leave it here in the dog's mouth.
Homer: No! Bart! That's a really bad storage area.
(homer is at the mailbox)
Lisa: Dad? I thought mom kicked you out of the house?
Homer: (Seriously) I came to get my mail. Resident. Occupent. (Sad) I can't open these. (Excited) ooh! Trafic ticket!!
Homer: (opens up the envolope and starts to cry) I'd do anything to get your mother and that doughnut back.
Homer: Did you sleep with Kirk Van Houten?
Marge: (gasps) How could you ask me that?
Homer: I repeat, did you sleep with Kirk?
Marge: Homer, you're crazy!
Homer: You're not saying no.
Marge: Fine, no!
Homer: I'm still not hearing no.
Marge: No, no, no!
Homer: (sarcastically) Well, me thinks the lady protests too much!
Homer: If my party made you sick, tell your friends.
Homer: Praise the Lord! I can walk again! (Dr. Hibbert and Marge give Homer a look) What? My foot fell asleep.
Blackboard Joke: None.
Couch Gag: The family enters the living room and takes their places on the couch, then an on-screen TiVo style menu pops up asking if we would like to delete or save this recording. "Delete this recording now" is selected and the screen goes blank.
Homer: (Sarcastically) Well, methinks the Lady doth protests too much!
Hamlet reference; the actual line in Shakespeare's play is "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."
House of Sand and Fog
The title of this episode is a play on the title of the 2003 film, House of Sand and Fog.
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