The Simpsons Season 10 Episode 19

(At the museum)
Homer: Aw, why does art hate me? I never did anything to art. (notices that his arm is stuck through a painting) Uh, let's get out of here.

Moe: So you guys are Eurotrash, how's that working out for you?
Guenter: To be honest, we are adrift in a sea of decadent luxury and meaningless sex.
Moe: Uh-huh. So where would this sea be located?

Homer: I've always had an interest in art, dating back to my schoolgirl days when I painted portrait after portrait of Ringo Starr.
Marge: That's MY life you're describing!

Homer: This isn't art. It's just a barbecue that pushed me too far. (to the barbecue) Didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?

Homer: How about it, Bart? Would you like a new backyard barbecue pit?
Bart: Can I burn evidence in it?
Homer: We can all burn evidence in it.

Marge: I just can't believe people are paying millions of dollars for something some hillbilly dug out of the trash.
Cletus: Hey, I done studied for years in getting over that junkyard fence! Then I learnt the gate was open.

Astrid Weller: Your husband's work is what we call "outsider art." It could be by a mental patient, a hillbilly or a chimpanzee.
Homer: In high school I was voted most likely to be a mental patient, hillbilly or chimpanzee.

Homer: Yeah, that's one fine lookin'-(BBQ pieces fall in cement) Stupid Lisa! Cement drying. AHH! English side ruined, must use French instructions! Le grille? What the hell is that?!?! Gotta improvise. (Homer puts together grill hastily, time passes) Ah, that's one fine lookin' barbeque pit. (Puts down box) Why doesn't mine look like that?! (Hits barbeque pit) Why must everything in life be so hard? Why must I fail at every attempt at masonry!?
Marge (in house): How's your father's project coming along?
Bart: I think he's almost done. (Outside, Homer rams an umbrella into the pit and it opens) He's done.

Homer: Mmm...hippo!

(Homer is sketching Lenny and Carl nude while they shower)
Carl: Uhh…Homer, you're making us a bit uncomfortable.
Lenny: Relax big guy, he's just doing this for his art. Right Homer?
Homer: Oh, yeah … art.

(Mobsters throw a body rolled up in a carpet into the drop-box.)
Chief Wiggum: What have you got there?
Vinny: Beanie Baby.

(Homer is shoving the failed grill into a Toys for Tots drop-box.)
Chief Wiggum: Hold on there, Santa Claus, that box is for toys only.
Homer: Well, of course. Any kid would love to have this...uh...activity center. It teaches them while they learn.

Homer: (Singing) You put the beer in the coconut and drink it all up! You put the beer in the coconut and throw the can away!
(Throws can and it hits Flanders)
Ned: Homer!
Homer: (Singing) You throw the can away!
(He throws another can and hits Ned again)
Ned: I said Homer!
Homer: (Singing) You throw the can away.

Marge: Homer, I know you worked hard. But all of your "things" were kind of the same.
Homer: Hey, Ray-Jay Johnson never changed his act, and he's more popular now than he's ever been!
Lisa: Who?
Homer: You can call him "Ray" or you can call him "Jay" or you can call him "Ray-Jay", but you doesn't have to call him...
Lisa: I'm sick of him already.

Homer: But Marge, I've screwed up everything I've ever done in my life. I mean, look at Bart.

Astrid Weller: I love it, Homer! You've turned this town into a work of art! I just wish Jasper Johns hadn't stolen my boat.
Jasper Johns: See ya later, suckers!

Homer (singing): Shavin' my shoulders, I'm gettin' it all shaved off!

Marge: You know, Homey, a lot of men use their Saturdays to do things around the house. Hint, hint...
Homer: But Marge, I'm not like other men. That's why you buy my pants at that special store!

Ned: What the flood?! Maude, it's a miracle! The Lord has drowned the wicked and spared the righteous.
Maude: Hey, isn't that Homer Simpson?
Ned: Looks like heaven's easier to get into than Arizona State.

Homer: Matt Groening?! What's he doing in a museum? He can barely draw!
(A giant pencil eraser starts rubbing his head.)
Homer: Oh no! I'm being erased!
(Two people hold the giant pencil)
Worker: Move it, bub! We got an installation to installate.