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Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Some of the women that fall in love with Kirk Van Houten after the "kidnapping" are: Agnes Skinner, Edna Krabappel, Lindsay Naegle, Cookie Kwan, and Lurleen Lumpkin.
Homer: We lost the remote. This is not a drill!
Chief Wiggum: Alright people, we got a situation here! Your daughter is gonna blow our whole deal sky-high!
Homer: You leave Maggie to me. (holds up a mobile with money attached)
Chief Wiggum: No, Lisa!
Homer: Not her! She'll hunt us down relentlessly, like a bloodhound mixed with a student loan officer.
(is stuck halfway through the dog door)
Homer: Oh, why must I be so voluptuous?!?
Marge: Rap music belongs in the rubbish bin! It encourages punching, boastfulness and rudeness to hos!
Homer: Bart's gone! I checked everywhere.
Marge: That little sneak disobeyed us and went to that hip hop festival!
Homer: If that's true he's gonna be like N.W.A: Not Without Ass-welts!
(a rock with a note wrapped around it is thrown through the window)
Homer: A flying rock! Call a Geologist!
Marge: (reading the note) "We have kidnapped your son. Follow instructions and Bart will not be harmed!!"
Homer: Follow instructions? He's doomed! This'll be the worst Thanksgiving dinner ever!
Marge: Thanksgiving's not for months.
Homer: (crying) The bad news just keeps coming!
(at a press conference)
Chief Wiggum: I will find Bart Simpson. Clancy Wiggum is on the case.
(all the reporters laugh)
Reporter: Ah, Chief, seriously… shouldn't we just plan for the funeral?
Marge: Oh Bart, I'm so glad you're okay!
Homer: (picks Bart up) Oh son… taking your tombstone back to the store will be the happiest thing I've ever done.
Bart: I lied about being kidnapped. The whole thing was a hoax.
Chief Wiggum: A hoax? A hoax!? Aww… Bart, please, you can't take this away from me! How would I explain it to Ralphie? That kid can't understand where the world goes when you close the drapes.
Chief Wiggum: Wait. Before we go, I took the liberty of making these embroidered conspiracy jackets for all of us. (holds up a jacket saying "Cover-up 2005")
Homer: Wow, those jackets are beautiful.
Chief Wiggum: We must never wear them!
Bart: Wait a minute… why do we have to come clean? Nobody's been hurt. Everyone is happier with the lie.
Homer: The lie is love.
Lisa: Wait just a minute!
Homer: (shakes his fist threateningly) Love the lie!
Bart: Man are you 'illin.
Lisa: Rappers stopped saying 'illin 12 years ago.
Bart: I'm keepin it real!
Lisa: They stopped saying keepin' it real 3 years ago.
Bart: Mom! Lisa's dissin' me!
Marge: Dissin, do rappers still say that?
[Upon being given the chance to expose Bart's lie.]
Skinner: Lisa, there is nothing I'd like to do more than to expose Bart. He's the second most notorious vandal at our school, next to the mysterious El Barto!
(Zoom out to see a picture of Bart in a Zorro-esque mask spraypainted on Skinner's wall)
Wiggum: (holding a gun) Nobody move!
(Whole room full of rappers pull out guns)
Wiggum: Oh crap, mine isn't even loaded.
Bart: Don't critique my technique, I'm no geek. I make the principal nervous, my friends can confirm this, I'll bust a spitwad in your epidermis, you can trace my remorse to its supersized source. A hungry, hungry hypocrite named Homer of course, my old man's pathetic, damn is his head thick, The gas from his ass is carcinogenic, every day I pray his DNA ain't genetic.
Chief Wiggum: In jail, you will be in a tiny and dirty cell. Well, not as tiny and dirty as this apartment but you get the idea.
The hip-hop music for this episode was provided by Boots Riley, a member of the hip-hop band The Coup.
Blackboard Joke: None.
Couch Gag: The family enter the living room dressed as chess pieces, Homer is a king, Marge the queen, Bart is a rook, Lisa is a knight and Maggie is a pawn.
The scenes in the beginning where Bart has the hood on his head, and when he's sitting in the bed writing words on a pad, are both direct allusions to Eminem's character in the 2002 film, 8 Mile.
Popcorn: The popcorn brand "Chinsey Pop" is a reference to "Jiffy Pop", a real stove top popcorn brand.
Tv Movie: The Salad Of The Christ
The TV movie that we see on the Simpsons' TV early on is both a parody of Mel Gibson's movie "The Passion Of The Christ" & the Christian animated cartoon VeggieTales.
n/a: Wheel Of Fortune
Another TV show we see early on is apparently a Spanish version of the TV game show "Wheel Of Fortune."
n/a: Lil' Jon
The "Champagne" rapper shown in the commercial for the Murder 4 Life concert appears to be a caricature of popular hip-hop star Lil' Jon, from the looks to the pose.
Homer: I'm going N.W.A. on him... Not Without Ass-welts!
N.W.A. is a hip-hop band that was very popular in the '80s.
n/a: Flavor Flav
When Lisa & Skinner are watching the tape of the concert, they verify the time by looking at a giant clock on a rapper's necklace, a parody of the same kind of necklace that was worn by hip-hop star Flavor Flav.
Chief Wiggum: There's no need for you to defend your captor, Bratty Hearst!
Chief Wiggum's name for Bart references Patty Hearst, the newspaper heiress who was kidnapped. He also suggests Bart may be sympathizing with his "captor," Kirk Van Houtten, just as Ms. Hearst did with the Symbionese Liberation Army.
Homer: (Makes chopping motion with his right arm) Cover the point spread! Cover the point spread!
Homer's chant (to the old Native American war chant) and arm motion comes while he is cheering for the Florida State Seminoles football team. This is the exact same motion Seminole fans make during football games.
Announcer: Stay tuned for Sitcom Sunday!
The "Sitcom Sunday" concept is similar to ABC's "TGiF" Friday-night sitcom block during the late 1980s and 1990s.
Barney/Don Knotts: Now I must go-o-o-o! Avenge me!
The scene of Barney/Don Knotts talking to Chief Wiggum through the TV pays homage to The Andy Griffith Show (Barney) and Pleasantville (Knotts' character talking to someone through the TV).
50 Cent: The more you know, the farther you'll go!
50 Cent's advice, encouraging Bart to stay in school, is styled just like the One to Grow On vignettes, seen on NBC's Saturday morning cartoon block during the 1980s.
Alcatraaaz, the main draw of the concert, is named after Alcatraz, the one-time federal prison.
Chief Wiggum: "What's that noise in the background?"
The scene where Wiggum takes the taped phone call back to the police lab is reminiscent of the film The Conversation, directed by Francis Ford Coppola and staring Gene Hackman. The film revolves around Hackman becomming obesessed with every detail of a recorded conversation, eventually believing each phrase and insignificant sound is a link in a conspiracy.
n/a: Gangsta Rap
The title "Pranksta Rap" is a take on the music genre "Gangsta Rap".
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