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Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Odds at Bart's casino:
Krabappel nervous breakdown: 2-1
Fat kid popular: 50-1
Bart gets his own TV show: 1000-1
The scene with Homer at the blackjack table parodies ''Rain Man.''
Homer's photographic memory details himself with huge muscles, Marge in a blue dress and green hair, Apu with three heads, and an alligator in a suit.
Along with several hats, a hair brush and false teeth are thrown into the air at the town meeting.
Mr Burns: (holding a miniature wooden plane) Do you see this plane, Smithers? This gonna help us to take the Spruce Goose and take us outta here!
Smithers: Excellent model, sir.
Mr. Burns: Uh, model?
Lisa: Dad, Mom said she'd be home to help me with my costume and she's not, and the geography pageant is tonight!
Homer: Lisa, your mom still loves you. It's just that she has a career now. She's a slot-jockey.
Lisa: Do you get the feeling this family is disintegrating? I mean, we haven't had a meal with Mom all week. And she hasn't even started my costume for the geography pageant.
Bart: Pipe down, sister. I gotta book a new act for tonight. Turns out that Liza Minnelli impersonator was really Liza Minnelli. (shudders)
Homer: Marge! You waited for me.
Homer: Okay, Marge, let's go.
Marge: I'll catch up to you.
Homer: Marge, I'm taking the car.
Marge: I'll walk.
Homer: This late? Through the bad neighborhood?
Marge: Go home! You're bad luck.
Homer: Wait! I see what's happening here. You're just mad because everyone in this town loves gambling except for you. Well that's just sad.
(Barney saves Maggie from a tiger in the casino)
Barney: Marge, you gotta watch out. Your little boy, Bart, could have been eaten by that pony!
Bart: Woo-hoo! Jackpot.
Squeeky-Voiced Teen: Wait a minute, are you over 21?
Bart: Are you?
Squeeky-Voiced Teen: I'm not authorized to answer that.
Homer: (as a blackjack dealer) Uh, let's see: eighteen, twenty-seven, thirty-five…Dealer busts! Looks like you all win again.
Homer: Ssshh! I'm trying to teach the baby to gamble.
Homer: I got a job at Burns' casino. As you know, it's been my lifelong dream to become a blackjack dealer.
Marge: Your lifelong dream was to be a contestant on "The Gong Show",
Homer: We got more gongs than the break-dancing robot that caught on fire.
Ned: What do you think, Reverend?
Reverend Lovejoy: Once something has been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.
Mr. Burns: By building a casino, I could tighten my stranglehold on this dismal town!
Barney: I haven't been able to find a job in six years.
Kent Brockman: Hmph. And what training do you have?
Barney: Five years of modern dance, six years of tap.
Lisa: Dad, you shouldn't wear glasses that weren't prescribed for you.
Homer: Lisa, just because you're ten feet tall doesn't mean you can tell me what to do.
Bart: I'm Bart.
Lisa: Gimme those!
Smithers: Even so, sir, we could stand to lay off a few employees.
Mr. Burns: Oh, very well! (Points at the monitors) Lay off him, him, him, him...(Sees Homer wearing Kissinger's glasses) Hmm...better keep the egghead. He just might come in handy.
Grampa: Hah! The way people act around here, you'd think the streets were paved with gold.
Jasper: They are.
Homeless Guy: Got any spare change?
Grampa: Yeah! And you ain't gettin' it! Everybody wants something for nothing! (Walks into the Social Security Office) I'm old, gimme gimme gimme!
James Bond: (Being dragged away by villain's henchmen) But...but it's Homer's fault! I didn't lose. I never lose! Well, at least tell me the details of your plot for world domination.
Blofeld: Ho ho ho, I'm not going to fall for that one again.
Homer: Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem.
Marge: You know, you're right, Homer. Maybe I should get some professional help.
Homer: No, no, that's too expensive. Just don't do it anymore.
Homer: (to Marge) You promised Lisa to help her with her costume. You made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed...she's such a little trooper!
Mr. Burns: Ah, my beloved plant. How I miss her...Bah! To Hell with this! Get my razors! Draw a bath! Get these Kleenex boxes off my feet!
Smithers: Certainly, sir. And, uh, the jars of urine?
Mr. Burns: Oh, we'll hang onto those.
Lisa: I'm not a state, I'm a monster!
Homer: No, Lisa. The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
Homer: Marge, we need to talk. You're spending too much time at the casino and I think you may have a problem.
Marge: I won sixty dollars last night.
Homer: Woo-hoo! Problem solved!
Barney: Man, that's classic compulsive behavior. Wow, free beer!
Mayor Quimby: I propose that I use what's left of the town treasury to move to a more prosperous town and run for mayor. And, er, once elected, I will send for the rest of you.
Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Principal Skinner: And here is a special award to the children who obviously didn't have any help from their parents, Lisa Simpson and Ralph Wiggum.
Ralph: (With a plastic bag that says "Idaho" on it) I'm Idaho!
Principal Skinner: Sure you are!
Mr. Burns: Thank you so much for visiting our plant, Dr. Kissinger.
Henry Kissinger: It was fun.
Smithers: We'll let you know if your glasses turn up.
Henry Kissinger: Uh...yes, well, I'm sure I left them in the car. (Thinking to himself) No one must know I dropped them in the toilet--not I, the man who drafted the Paris peace accord.
Captain McCallister: I'll need three ships and 50 stout men. We'll sail 'round the horn and return with spices and silk the likes of which ye have never seen.
Mr. Burns: We're building a casino!
Captain McCallister: Arrr...can you give me five minutes?
Robert Goulet: You from the casino?
Bart: I'm from a casino.
Robert Goulet: Close enough.
Lisa: Well, I know it sounds absurd. But I dreamed the Boogeyman was after me and he's...
Homer: Ahhh! Boogeyman! You nail all the doors and the windows; I'll go get the gun!
Gerry: Hello. I'm retired heavyweight boxer Gerry Cooney. Welcome to Mr. Burns' Casino! If there's anything I can do to make your visit more
enjoyable, please: just let me know.
Otto: Er, great. See ya!
Gerry: Uh, don't forget to apply for our V.I.P. Platinum Club for special discounts on…
Otto: Hey! I said, bug off!
(Otto punches him in the jaw, and he collapses)
Smithers: Don't you think you've gambled enough?
Smithers: Very well, ma'am. We're required to asked every 72 hours. Enjoy a free round of drinks.
Lisa: There's nothing to eat for breakfast.
Homer: You gotta improvise, Lisa. Cloves…Tom Collins' mix…frozen pie crust… (he just give it a bite) Let´s go for mom.
Homer: Wow, just like on TV.
(he trips over an ottoman. A studio audience begins to laugh)
Homer: Here's a card for you, James Bond.
James Bond: You gave me a Joker?!
Mr. Burns: (holding a miniature plane) We'll take the Spruce Goose. Hop in.
Smithers: But sure I…
(Burns pulls out a gun)
Mr. Burns: I said hop in.
Robert Goulet: Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager.
Nelson: Your manager says for you shut up!
Robert Goulet: Vera said that?
Homer: (to Lisa) It's always something, isn't it? First, I have to drive your pregnant mother to the hospital so she can give birth to you. Now this!
Kent Brockman: Joblessness is not just for philosophy majors anymore. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch.
Lisa: Nevada makes my butt look big.
Homer: You know, Marge, for the first time in our marriage, I can finally look down my nose at you. You have a gambling problem!
Marge: Hmmm, that's true. Will you forgive me?
Homer: Oh, sure! Remember when I got caught stealing all those watches from Sears?
Homer: Well, that's nothing, because you have a gambling problem! And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house 'cause he was dressed like Santa Claus?
Homer: Well you have a gambling problem!
Marge: Homer, when you forgive someone, you can't throw it back at them like that!
Homer: Aw, what a gyp.
Homer: Remember when I -
Homer: Oh yeah, I forgot already.
Deleted Scene: James Bond and Blofeld, the latter accompanied by Odd Job and Jaws, are playing blackjack in the casino with Homer as the dealer. Homer gives Bond a joker, and Bond tells Homer that he was supposed to take the jokers out of the deck. So Homer gives Bond another card - which has rules for draw and stud poker on it. Odd Job and Jaws promptly grab Bond and drag him away. This was one of a number of deleted scenes to be shown in season 7's "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular".
This is the episode in which Marge develops her gambing problem.
There is a scene depicting Siegfried & Roy knockoffs, "Gunter and Ernst" getting mauled by one of their tigers. Although this episode aired several years before the real life incident that nearly took Roy Horn's life, one wonders if we'll get to see this gag again.
Blackboard Joke: I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
Couch Gag: The family run into each other and shatter as if they're ceramic. Santa's Little Helper inspects the debris.
Tales From the Crypt
Homer says that he once let a maniac dressed as Santa Claus into the house. This is a reference to the Tales From the Crypt episode "And All Through the House" where the daughter of a woman who murdered her husband lets an escaped mental patient dressed as Santa Claus into the house.
Terms of Endearment/I'll Do Anything
The movie posters for "Sperms of Endearment" and "I'll Do Anyone" are spoofs on the movies Terms of Endearment and I'll Do Anything which happen to have been produced by The Simpsons Executive Producer, James L. Brooks.
The Ren and Stimpy Show
The music heard in the newsreel is the same stock music heard on The Ren and Stimpy Show.
Blackboard Joke: I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
The blackboard quote is a parody of David Letterman's habit of constantly saying, "Buttafuoco" and his audience applauding during the Amy Fisher debacle in 1992-93.
The Wizard of Oz
The scene where Homer incorrectly quotes Pythagoras's Theorem is a parody of the scene from the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz when The Scarecrow gets his brain.
The scene – depicting Homer in awe of a blackjack player's card-counting ability and "Raymond's" mannerisms (having to maintain a strict schedule, screaming when someone threatens to "harm" him, hitting his head with his palm) – spoofs the casino scenes in the film Rain Man. The 1988 Oscar winner depicted a self-centered, playboy-type yuppie's relationship with his autistic older brother and their cross-country trip. Homer picks up on Raymond's mannerisms when he tries to keep Raymond from leaving the casino. There is also a Tom Cruise-look-alike in the scene, probably as "Charlie" and, these scenes were cut from episodes seen in syndication.
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb/Vega$
The title of this episode is a parody of the title of the classic 1964 film Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb and the TV show Vega$.
The Dick Van Dyke Show
Homer trips over the ottoman just like in the opening credits of The Dick Van Dyke Show.
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