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Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier
Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others
Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others
Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others
Milhouse Van Houten, Rod Flanders, Jimbo Jones, and others
Agnes Skinner, Brandine Del Roy, Dolph and others
In the Mexican version of the Simpsons, the Doctor that Moe replaced in the soap opera said 'They can't replace me! I played the role of Doctor (??) and the voice of Ranma for the last (?) years!'. This was a play on the fact that the guy playing the voice of the Doctor in this episode was the same guy that made the voice of Ranma Saotome, lead character of an anime named Ranma 1/2 which played in Mexico for a while before this episode was made. -Coola
At the contest, Duffman introduces Duff's "vice president of calendars and fake IDs" as Phil Angelides. Coincidentally (?), that is also the name of the treasurer of the state of California (1998-present (2003)).
When the facelift doctor was writing on moe's face, he only wrote on the left side and then put the pen away. When they showed the same view of moe getting written on, he had writing all over his face.
When Lisa says, "trophies, trophies," the closed captioning reads, "(panicked gasping)".
The family managed to change from their pajamas to their street clothes en route to the festival.
Homer: Moe! The new Duff calendars are out! The ones with your picture.
Moe: Oh, boy! Move over, liquor license. (takes a framed license down from the wall)
Lenny: (reading license) Hey Moe, this license expired in 1973, and it's only good in Rhode Island … and it's signed by you.
Moe: Yeah, yeah, I've been meaning to get that updated, uh, for this state and, real.
Duff Man: And the winner… Moe Szyslak!
Moe: Aw, that's great; thank you, thanks a lot. Uh, I just want to say that it was an honor for me to compete against the Mick and the, uh, the chick with the rack there.
Duff Man: Duff beer is brewed from hops, barley, and sparkling clear mountain … what?
Titania: (rings bell) Goat.
Duff Man: Are you ready for some Duff love?!
Homer: Good work, everyone. We're sure to be first in line for "Duff Days."
Marge: You set off the smoke alarm to rush us to a beer festival?
Homer: (chuckles I know. I'm a character. Now a little beer music to get in the mood.
Moe: Homer, did you hear that? She called me handsome! Me! It's like I've gone to heaven. Wait a minute…I died on the operating table didn't I?
Homer: He he, yeah but just for a minute. It's a funny story, I'll tell you some time.
Nurse: Oh boy, what a mug!
Surgeon: Yea, you should see his genitals, would you like to see his genitals?
Moe: I'm awake here.
Surgeon: Hey this isn't anesthetic it's new car smell.
Moe: It's hopeless, ain't it?
Surgeon: No, no, no, I love a challenge. First, we must install buttocks.
Moe: Nah, nah, nah - no luxury items. Just the face.
Surgeon: (drawing on Moe's face with a marker) Okay, I'm going to move this up, this wider. Gonna lose that. I've never even seen one of these!
Marge: Kids, would you like a balloon?
Bart: (sarcastic) Yeah, right, Mom. Then I'd like a rattle and a wowwypop. Actually, I would like a wowwypop.
Lisa: Those balloons won't biodegrade for ten thousand years. And if Bart gets a wowwypop, I want a wowwypop.
Gay man: Alright then, we need a symbol for our campaign. Something that says we're gay and republican.
(A pink balloon in the shape of an elephant flies through the window.)
Gay man: A little bit on the nose, don't you think?
Homer: (to Lenny & Carl) OK, ready, guys? One...two...three...
(All three lift up their shirts; Homer has "M" on his chest, Carl has "O" on his and Lenny has "O" too)
Homer: "MOO"!? Lenny, you were suppose to be "E"!
Carl: See what happens when you skip rehearsal?
Moe: Am I really that ugly?
Carl: Well, it's all relative, Moe. Is Lenny really that dumb? Is Barney really that drunk? Is Homer really that fat, bald and stupid?
(Everyone but Carl begins to cry)
Carl (to the camera): See, this is why I don't talk much.
Moe: When my face was crushed, why did it go back to my old face? I mean, shouldn't it have turned into some kind of third face that was different? Makes no...
(The end credits cut him off)
Lenny: (cheering for Moe) That's my Moo!
Director: Well, you said you wanted "gritty," in other words, "ugly."
Producer: I wanted Mary Anne from Gilligan's Island ugly, not Cornelius from Planet of the Apes ugly. TV-ugly, not ugly-ugly.
Moe: I've been called ugly, pug-ugly, fugly, pug-fugly ... but never ugly-ugly.
Moe: Hey, Duff Man, how would you like a sticker on your face? (slaps a sticker on Duff Man's face)
Duff Man: Duff Man can't breathe! Oh no!
Titania: Ew! You said if I slept with you, I wouldn't have to touch the drunk.
Duff Man: Duff Man says a lot of things. Oh, yeah!
Blackboard Joke: Dodgeball stops at the gym door.
Couch Gag: Marge wipes off Matt Groening's signature off the living room floor and Matt comes in and writes it back in.
Carl's last name is revealed in this episode. It's Carlson.
The song played during the pouring contest is "Hippy Hippy Shake" by Chan Romeroa; a reference to the 1988 film Cocktail.
The title is a play on the name of George Bernard Shaw's 1913 play Pygmalion, upon which the 1956 Lerner/Loewe stage musical My Fair Lady is based.
Announcer: Like the cleaning of a house, it never ends.
The opening of the soap opera It Never Ends is similar to the epigram on the opening of the NBC soap opera Days of Our Lives, "Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives." Likewise, the drawings of cast members against a white background are a parody of the opening of CBS's The Young and the Restless.
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