The Simpsons

Season 3 Episode 18

Separate Vocations

Aired Sunday 8:00 PM Feb 27, 1992 on FOX
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Episode Summary

After taking career aptitude tests, Lisa discovers that the occupation she's best suited for is homemaker, while Bart is pegged as a future police officer. Each takes the opportunity to explore their options as Lisa spends the day doing chores at home with Marge and Bart goes on a ride along with the police. Lisa hates her role and rebels by becoming a troublemaker at school, but police life fits Bart like a glove and he becomes a hall monitor.moreless

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Dan Castellaneta

Dan Castellaneta

Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Krusty the Clown, Groundskeeper Willie, and others

Hank Azaria

Hank Azaria

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Moe Szyslak, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, Lou, and others

Harry Shearer

Harry Shearer

Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Waylon Smithers, Kent Brockman, and others

Julie Kavner

Julie Kavner

Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, and Selma Bouvier

Nancy Cartwright

Nancy Cartwright

Bart Simpson, Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, and others

Yeardley Smith

Yeardley Smith

Lisa Simpson

Steve Allen

Steve Allen


Guest Star

Marcia Wallace

Marcia Wallace

Edna Krabappel

Recurring Role

Maggie Roswell

Maggie Roswell

Maude Flanders, Helen Lovejoy, Miss Hoover, and others

Recurring Role

Russi Taylor

Russi Taylor

Martin Prince, Sherri, Terri and others

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (10)

  • QUOTES (22)

    • Lisa: Dear Log: This will be my last entry. For you were a journal of my hopes and dreams, and now I have none.

    • Dr. Pryor: Here's your scientifically selected career.
      Janey: Architect.
      Kid: Insurance salesman,
      Ralph: Salmon gutter?
      Milhouse: Military strongman.
      Martin: Systems analyst. Systems analyst.
      Dr. Pryor: Systems analyst.
      Martin: All right!
      Lisa: Homemaker?
      Dr. Pryor: Mm-hm. It's like a mommy.
      Bart: Police officer? Well, I'll be jiggered.

    • Principal Skinner: Some sick individual has stolen every "Teacher's Edition!"
      Teacher: What do we do?
      Mrs. Krabappel: Declare a snow day!
      Teacher #2: Does anyone know the multiplication table?

    • Miss Hoover: Now sprinkle your sparkles on your paste. Lisa, you're not sprinkling your sparkles.
      Lisa: Shove it.

    • Lisa: Bart, why did you take the blame?
      Bart: Because I didn't want you to wreck your life. You got the brains and the talent to go as far as you want. And when you do, I'll be right there to borrow money.

    • Lisa: Well, I'm going to be a famous jazz musician. I've got it all figured out. I'll be unappreciated in my own country, but my gutsy blues stylings will electrify the French. I'll avoid the horrors of drug abuse, but I do plan to have several torrid love affairs, and I may or may not die young. I haven't decided.

    • Marge: You know, your father wanted to be a policeman for a little while, but they said he was too heavy.
      Homer: No, the Army said I was too heavy. The police said I was too dumb.

    • Bart: Hey, I don't need you to get me in the back of a police car.

    • Hoover: Lisa, what nineteenth-century figure was named 'Old Hickory'?
      Lisa: I don't know. You?
      Hoover: Lisa, if you'd bothered to do the assignment, you'd know the answer is... (flips to answers) The Battle of New Orleans. I mean, Andrew Jackson.
      Lisa: Well, you're earning your eighteen grand a year.

    • Teacher: This is a great day for me. I thought I could never teach again!
      Skinner: Oh, things have changed. There will be no mockery of your name, Mr. Glascock.

    • Bart: Seymour, this is an absent slip signed by Nelson's mother. And this is Nelson's English homework. Notice the identical elongated loops on the d's.
      Principal Skinner: Forgery! So he didn't have leprosy!

    • Apu: Ooh, they used nylon rope this time. It feels so smooth against my skin. Almost sensuous.

    • Bart: Wow! Can I see your club?
      Lou: It's called a baton, son.
      Bart: Oh. What's it for?
      Lou: We club people with it.

    • Miss Hoover: Since we have fifteen minute until recess, please put down your pencils and stare at the front of the room.

    • Miss Hoover: Question sixty. I prefer the smell of (a) gasoline, (b) French fries, or (c) bank customers.

    • Edna: Some of you may discover a wonderful vocation you'd never even imagined. Others may find out life isn't fair, in spite of your Masters from Bryn Mawr, you might end up a glorified babysitter to a bunch of dead-eyed fourth graders while your husband runs naked on a beach with your marriage counselor!

    • Edna: We're going to take a test.
      Class: (sighs)
      Hoover: We're going to take a test.
      Lisa: All right, a test!

    • Cheif Wiggum: Looks like you bought yourself a lottery jail!
      Lou: He's unconscious, sir.
      Chief Wiggum: Ah, they can still hear things.

    • Eddie: This is against every regulation but, will you cover us? (Hands Bart a gun.)
      Bart: Cool!

    • Principal Skinner: Your punishment is 400 days detention.
      Bart: I could easily do that on my head.
      Principal Skinner: 500 days!
      Bart: Oh, ho ho.
      Principal Skinner: 600 days!
      Bart: Maybe I should keep my big mouth shut.

    • Miss Hoover: Now put paste on your paper. Ralph, are you eating your paste?
      Ralph Wiggum: (Gluestick poking out of his mouth) No, Miss. Hoover.

    • Marge: Bart's grades are up a little this term. But Lisa's are way down.
      Homer: We always have one good kid and one lousy kid. Why can't both our kids be good?
      Marge: We have three kids, Homer.
      Homer: Marge, the dog doesn't count as a kid!
      Marge: No, Maggie!

  • NOTES (3)

  • ALLUSIONS (10)

    • First Blood: The scene, where Bart meets with the school counselor to determine his career choice, references the 1982 American film First Blood. The school counselor tells Bart that he believed Bart would become a drifter in his adult age. Bart then daydreams about himself as a drifter holding a green Army duffel bag who complains how the Sheriff drove him out of town, echoing the sequence in First Blood where John Rambo is ushered out of town by the sheriff for being a drifter.

    • Iowa Test of Basic Skills
      The "CANT" test that is given to the students of Springfield Elementary is flown to the Iowa non-international airport then trucked to the National Testing Center in Proctorville, Iowa.
      This is a poke at the "Iowa Test of Basic Skills" given to students up until the mid 1980's.

    • The Wild One
      Principal Skinner asking Lisa what she is rebelling against, and her reply is taken directly from a scene in the 1953 Marlon Brando film, The Wild One. Lisa even has a toothpick in her mouth, just like the movie.

    • Witness X: I'd be more than happy to!
      The blue dot on the face of Bart (being voiced by Steve Allen) is a parody of the William Kennedy Smith rape trial, and how they hid the identity of the witness.

    • Batman
      The scene change when Bart and Skinner start searching lockers is a parody of the same style of scene change found in the campy 1960's Batman television series.

    • Bart: Who loves ya baby?
      A quick and funny homage to the show Kojak.

    • Dirty Harry
      The look in Bart's sunglasses is a parody of a similar image from the 1971 film Dirty Harry.

    • Bullitt
      The car chase scene between the cops and Snake, including the Green VW, is a parody of the car chase scene from the 1968 film Bullitt.

    • Beverly Hills Cop
      The music you hear as Skinner and Bart are searching the lockers is the theme to the 1984 film Beverly Hills Cop.

    • Announcer: And now, Act 2: Death Drives A Stick.
      The car chase scene parodies The Streets of San Francisco as well as its theme music. The beginning of act 2 with the voiceover is another reference.